The Invisible Line
by littlecat358
Summary: Edward and Bella, friends since high school, are very close. So close, that the line between friendship and something more is often blurred. Will they ever cross the line or will they always teeter on the edge of what could be? O/S for Fandom Against DV.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This was written for Fandom Against Domestic Violence 2011.**

**Thank you so much to Mollie, who originally beta'd it and Mel for pre-reading it. Also a huge thank you to jayhawkbb for helping me update it and make it all smooth and pretty.**

**Enjoy**

~TIL~

BPOV

"Bella?"

_Oh, shit! Not now._

"Bella?"

_Please, God. Just make him go away._

"Bella, baby, wake up."

_He's not going to give__in, is he?_

"I need you to wake up, sweetheart."

"Go. Away!"

"I can't go away. I need you."

"You don't need me. You're just trying to torture me."

"I do need you. Will you please get up?"

"No."

"Please? I need you to run with me."

"Oh, my God, Edward. No. Please leave me alone," I begged. His fingertips danced along my spine through my pajama shirt, giving rise to a serious case of goosebumps.

"If you get up and come with me . . ." he paused. I should have known by the seductive tone in his voice that he was about to say something to mess with me. "I'll fuck you hard and fast in the shower afterward."

My head shot up. "What?"

He grinned. "I thought that would get your attention, you dirty girl."

"How is that not supposed to get my attention? Jesus Christ, Edward."

I buried my head back into my pillow, but he'd put that thought in my mind and I couldn't forget it. No matter how hard I tried.

"Come on, baby girl. I need some company."

"You've got plenty of company. Call one of them."

"They're not as beautiful as you."

"Shut up," I groaned, clenching my eyes shut.

His fingers left my back and then began stroking the side of my face, pulling my hair back and tucking it behind my ear. I refused to open my eyes. I knew the look that would be waiting for me if I did. He'd used the same look on me whenever he wanted something since we were sixteen years old.

He threw the covers back and climbed in next to me, spooning my body. His hand trailed to my shoulder, making circles before continuing down my arm. He pressed his face against my neck. "Please, Bella?" he breathed, as his hand touched my hip and glided across the skin around my belly button. "You always make it so much better."

He kissed me lightly just below my ear; a light, cautious kiss. He wasn't sure how I'd react. To be honest, I wasn't sure how I wanted to react. It had been a long time since he'd touched me like this. Too long.

I stayed still, afraid he'd realized just how close I was to crossing the line – the invisible line between being friends and being lovers. It was a line we'd walked along for seven years; ever since I'd kissed him on a dare in Biology sophomore year of high school.

I was the popular girl. The one who had every guy fawning over her. It was stupid; they were stupid. Edward was the shy geek who hadn't come into his own yet. He was only an inch taller than me at that time. He wore terrible glasses and had a retainer, but he was sweet.

My cousin Jake and his meathead friends were teasing him mercilessly. They dared him to kiss the next girl who entered the classroom. Unfortunately for them, that happened to be me.

Jake snorted, coughing and laughing hysterically at his luck. Edward's face turned bright red. I pulled Edward to the side and asked him what was going on. After a few minutes of coaxing, he finally told me about the dare. It made me mad. Not that I was a pawn in my cousin's games, but that he was being such an asshole to someone who'd never done anything wrong. I wasn't about to let Jake get away it.

I told Edward to take out his retainer and demanded he kiss me.

The look on his face, I will remember until the day I die. It was horror and fear, excitement and embarrassment all in one. He leaned forward, eyes closed and lips puckered. It was kind of cute. I waited until he landed his lips on mine and I unleashed the beast. I jumped into his lap, grabbed his head, dragging my fingers through his hair and pressing myself against him. He gasped and the second his mouth was open I plunged my tongue into it. I heard Jake choking again, but out of shock, not laughter. The rest of the kids in the classroom erupted in giggles, cheers and applause. I pulled back, leaving both Edward and me panting, and smiled at him. He gaped at me and adjusted his glasses. Then the bell rang for class to start.

He admitted afterwards that I'd scared the shit out of him. It had been his first kiss and he'd had no idea what he was doing. I felt bad that his first kiss had been done that way, but he didn't. He thanked me profusely and offered to do anything for me. It was enough of a reward for me that we'd managed to shut my cousin up for a while, but after a second of thinking about it, I came up with an idea. I asked him to take me to the winter. At the time it was so that I didn't have deal with the douchebags who usually asked me. I didn't realize that I'd have so much fun.

After that, we became close friends. He was funny and smart. I liked spending time with him; he made me happy.

The summer between sophomore and junior year, Edward had a growth spurt – and it was a doozy. He went from five foot four to almost six feet tall. He was able to get rid of his retainer and he started wearing contacts. The muscles of his arms, chest and abs became strong and more defined from working construction for my dad all summer. In other words, he became a fucking hottie. My best friend, Rose, and I would sit and watch him walk around shirtless all the time, flexing his muscles and pretending he didn't know what he was doing.

I figured he'd get all sorts of attention from the girls when we went back to school and I was right. I heard the chatter and giggles all morning on the first day of school. It kind of made me sick to think that six months before, the same girls were making fun of him. I worried that he'd get all cocky since he'd turned into a super-stud and I expected that he would forget about our friendship. But that's not what happened.

I suppose we appeared like a couple to anyone who was looking. Edward and I were always extremely affectionate. Half the time I could be found sitting in his lap or straddling him in a chair with our heads close together. He took me to all the dances, held my hand and kept me close.

As we got older, our affections grew stronger and the sexual innuendos became more intense. We both dated other people, but they didn't last. No one seemed to be able to understand our relationship. At times, I'm not even sure we understood it ourselves.

When we moved in together before our sophomore year of college, we had to work really hard at convincing people, including our parents, that we weren't lovers. We definitely pushed the boundaries of our relationship a time or two when we were drunk. And I don't just mean the gentle little lip kisses. I mean hot and heavy, oh-my-God, mouth fucking. Most of the time, we would grind against each other while dancing and even got pretty worked up dry humping once, but we always stopped. We came close once. Too close. That's when I finally made the invisible line a little more visible.

Edward's fingers toyed with the waistband of my pajama pants, dipping below them just slightly before returning to safe territory.

"What do I get if I come with you?" I asked groggily.

"I already told you," he said, licking the shell of my ear playfully.

"I mean, what do I really get?"

"Mmmmm. Whatever you want, baby girl. Tell me what you want," he purred, once again dipping his hand below my waistband. This time he didn't bring it back up. His fingers danced lazily across my pubic bone. He was getting dangerously close. When his index finger passed over my landing strip, I heard and felt him suck in a huge breath. This was the closest I'd ever let him get before. Usually I was squirming away from him the second his hand started to invade my pants.

And why wasn't I squirming away now? I had no idea. Because I was too lazy. Because it felt good. Because...because...because I didn't want to.

We were quiet for a while as he repeated his strokes so close to my clit that I could feel it tingling. I debated whether to stop him, but before I could, he went for it – his finger lowering just slightly, pressing against where I was throbbing.

I let out a gasping moan. It felt so fucking good and yet so, so . . . no, it just felt good. He shifted and I could feel his massive erection against my ass. I had seen Edward before. All of him. I'd seen him hard, I'd seen him soft. I'd seen him in pants, in underwear, and completely naked. That's what happens when you spend so much time with someone, right? He'd often get a hard-on when I sat in his lap, but he'd always shrug and wink at me. He was a guy; guys get hard-ons. We'd laugh and ignore it. At least we tried to.

He added a second finger and started rubbing circles. I closed my eyes and just enjoyed the sensation. I had to bite my lip when he parted my pussy lips and glided his fingers inside. He stroked me a few times, and then froze. He didn't remove his hand; he just ceased the movement.

"Why aren't you stopping me?" he asked so quietly I almost didn't hear him.

I gritted my teeth, willing him to keep going; willing myself not to think. "Because I haven't gotten laid in over a year. I'm finally getting fucked by something other than my own hand or my vibrator and it feels fantastic. Why aren't you stopping yourself?"

Without missing a beat, he answered. "Because your pussy feels soft and warm and amazing and all I can think about is getting my dick inside of it before we get out of this bed. You really haven't had sex in a year?" He started stroking me again; pulling his fingers out and pushing them back in at an agonizingly slow pace.

"Thirteen months and..." I counted in my head, back to the last time I'd been with Riley, "twelve days." I bit back a moan as Edward curled his fingers forward, hitting my g-spot.

"Shit, Bella. If I had known that, I would have taken care of you."

"Yeah, sure you would have. You were too busy taking care of Sarah and Julie and, oh, what was her name? Oh, yeah. Muffy."

"Her name wasn't Muffy," he laughed. "And I wasn't taking care of them. I haven't fucked anybody in over six months.

"Don't talk about other women while you're fingering me," I grumbled.

"You started it."

Yes, I had. What the fuck was I doing? We couldn't do this. I'd spent too many years protecting our friendship to let this just happen.

"Ugh, we need to stop."

"Let me make you come and I'll stop," he murmured, pressing his lips against my neck.

"That defeats the purpose of stopping. The second you make me come, I'll feel the need to reciprocate."

"So?"

"So, you said you wanted to stick your dick in me. That's so far over the line that I don't think we could go back."

"I've wanted to stick my dick into you since the day you kissed me in Biology, probably before that. You know that. I'm so fucking tired of the non-existent line."

"Shut up and go back to your side."

Edward's hips had started rocking against me. If I didn't stop this, we would be screwed, both literally and figuratively. And as good as the literal sounded, it would most likely destroy our friendship, thereby causing the figurative.

I wanted to come more than anything at that moment, but I couldn't let it happen. I put my hand on top of his and pulled his fingers from inside of my body.

He sighed and rested his forehead against my shoulder, but he didn't argue.

"Let's go for a run," I said.

"Yeah," he mumbled. "Let's go."

~TIL~

He was staring at me. I could feel it. I was drinking my coffee, eating a bagel, and reading the newspaper. I set my mug down and picked up my bagel. The crunching sound was loud in my ears, but not as loud as the uncomfortable silence of the room as I felt his gaze slicing through my skin and worming its way into my body.

"Stop looking at me."

"Why?"

"Because you're being all weird and I don't like it."

"I'm not being weird. You're being weird."

I lifted only my eyes and he smirked at me.

"Fuck you. Stop looking at me."

I returned to my bagel, coffee, and newspaper, and tried to ignore him as he chuckled.

~TIL~

"Bitch, what the hell happened?"

"What do you mean?" I stood in my sequined dress drinking a Mai Tai with Rose at our favorite Seattle nightclub.

"You. Edward. What the fuck is the matter with you two?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Ro."

"You don't think it's odd that he hasn't touched you once tonight? I mean, really, Bella? I can't remember the last time we went clubbing where he wasn't all up in your coochie all night."

I looked at her and scoffed, trying to push back the nervousness. She was talking about Edward being near my cooch like she knew something "He's never all up in my coochie."

"Pa-lease. Who the fuck do you think you're kidding? What did you do to him that his ass is talking up the redhead at the bar?"

I looked over to where Edward was and sure enough, he was flashing his wicked smile at some gorgeous Amazon woman with legs as long as my whole body. She had her hand on his forearm and she was laughing.

"Maybe he just needs to get laid," I said flatly, looking back towards my friend.

"Really?"

"Yeah. He told me the other night that it's been awhile."

She rolled her eyes. "You guys are so ridiculous."

I ignored her comment. "Come on, hooker. Let's go make them drool."

Rose's eyes lit up and she reached for my outstretched hand. We downed our drinks and set them on the table before heading towards the dance floor.

We were such a mismatched pair. Where she was tall and fair, I was short and dark. But it didn't matter. That just meant that we appealed to many different tastes.

We squeezed our way through the pulsating bodies and found a spot where the two of us could do our thing. Sometimes it's the little things that catch men's attention. The way her hand slid up my naked arm, trailed over my shoulder and down my back before resting on my hip. The way we moved our bodies with each other as opposed to against each other.

I brushed my lips against her cheek. "I think you have an admirer," I sang softly before pulling back enough to look in her eyes. I glanced to my left quickly and then back at her.

"He's too big," she said, shaking her head.

"Shut up. You like them big. Just think about where else he's big. Look at the size of his feet."

"Doesn't mean anything," she said, pretending she wasn't actually calculating the size of his peen in her head.

Rose smirked, glancing at something behind me. "I think I'll go find out for myself, though."

I grinned and watched as she approached the guy who had been picturing her naked for the last ten minutes. And that's when I felt the hands around my waist. Familiar hands. I felt his breath against my ear – the scent of cinnamon and whiskey making me shiver.

"I've missed you," I said when he leaned down to kiss my cheek.

"I've been right here."

"You've been over there. With the redhead."

"She means nothing."

"You need to get laid."

"Yes, I do. But not by her."

"By who then?"

"Not by her."

We swayed together, his grip tightening, his hard-on pressed fantastically against my back. Sometimes I wondered what it would be like to suck him off. I was pretty sure he would not fit it my mouth. I would probably dislocate my jaw even trying.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing."

"I don't believe you. Your face is all flushed."

"It's hot in here and we're dancing."

"Liar."

"Maybe, but I guess you'll never know," I teased.

He gripped my thigh just below where my mini-dress hit and then slid his hand upwards. I guess Rose was right. He really was up in my coochie.

She apparently was thinking the same thing, because when I caught her eye, she glanced down at Edward's hand and started laughing.

"Fuck you," I mouthed, leaning back against Edward's chest. That only made her laugh harder as she ground her ass against the big guy who I could now see had the cutest fucking dimples ever. Oh, he was definitely going home with her.

~TIL~

"Whatup, slut?" I grinned as I met Rose for lunch a few days later.

"You're just jealous. You're gonna dry up like a raisin soon if you don't start using that twat of yours."

"Whatever. I use it."

Rose snorted. "If God meant for us to do it by ourselves, he wouldn't have created men like Emmett."

"Emmett?"

Rose smiled. "That big hunk of man from the club. Holy fucking crackers, Bella. That man is a-may-zing! I want to have his babies."

I choked on the water I was drinking. "Right now?"

"Whenever he asks me," she swooned. "His mother was born and raised in a little village outside of Paris. Every time he came, he broke out into a string of French profanities."

"Well, even I can swear in different languages," I laughed.

"I'm pretty sure that he said more than that, but he said he was just swearing."

"_Every_ time he came?" I asked with wide eyes. "Shit, Rose. How many times did you do the guy?"

She looked upwards and pretended to count on her fingers, and then looked back at me with a grin. "Not enough."

The waiter brought us menus and we ordered on the spot. We had been coming to this place for years and knew every single item on the menu.

"So are you and Edward better now?"

I rolled my eyes. "There was never anything wrong."

"Yeah. Whatever you say, sweetie." She shrugged. We chatted and snacked on the bread that was on the table until the waiter brought our food. "So when are you going to put that poor boy out of his misery?"

I looked up at her just as my forkful of pasta made it to my mouth. She tilted her head with a smug expression as I finished chewing.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I asked, annoyed that she was bringing the subject up yet again. We'd had this conversation at least half a dozen times. She'd given up on it for a few years, but apparently she was going there again.

"You two still haven't fucked have you?"

"Since you're bringing this up. . . again. You know we haven't. It's not like that with us."

"That doesn't mean it can't be. I have watched him want you for seven years and I've watched you pretend the feeling wasn't mutual for just as long. I wouldn't have to keep bringing it up if you'd stop avoiding the inevitable. "

"That would ruin everything," I sighed.

"Or make it that much better."

I shook my head. "I like the way things are."

"And yet you're still on your self-imposed celibacy kick? Tell me, sweetie, who do you picture when you're getting yourself off?"

I looked up to see our poor waiter standing next to our table, completely slack-jawed, and judging from the tint of his face, a little embarrassed at overhearing our conversation. I decided to be evil. Not that it was his fault that we were being completely inappropriate in a public place, but whatever.

"I picture you, Rose, okay? Only you."

Rose snorted and took a sip of her diet soda.

"I . . . I. . . is everything o..okay?" he stuttered in shock.

"Everything is fine," I sighed and smiled innocently at him. "Thank you."

He stumbled away.

"You're such a wicked bitch," Rose giggled.

I shrugged.

The rest of our conversation revolved around Rose's grad school and my work as an assistant editor for the Seattle Times. Yeah, I knew people who knew people and got an interview before I even graduated. Okay, so I lived with someone who was the son of people who knew people. Same difference. It got me my job.

We said our goodbyes more affectionately than we needed to, but the waiter was watching us and it was fun to mess with him.

~TIL~

"Hey, gorgeous, what's for dinner?" Edward asked, slinging his coat and messenger bag over the back of the sofa before walking into the kitchen.

"How was your day at the office, dear?" I teased as he kissed my cheek affectionately.

"Shitty. How was yours?"

Edward worked as a lackey in the Seattle branch of Cullen & Associates, a commercial real estate acquisitions company. Well, I called him a lackey. His uncle, Alistair, was the COO of the company and was trying to groom him for taking over the whole company someday. His dad, Carlisle, was the CEO, but worked from home back in Forks. Carlisle and my dad, Charlie, had become close friends and business associates around the same time Edward and I became friends. Now Charles Swan Construction handled all of Cullen & Associates' in-state construction and demolition."

"Eh, same as usual. Your mom called."

"Yeah?" Edward said, sneaking pieces of the bread I'd just taken out of the oven and hissing when I slapped his hand. "What did she want?"

"She asked when we were going to stop living in sin."

Edward laughed. "Well, at least she's off the '_when are you gonna give me grandbabies_?' kick."

"She's going in the wrong direction."

"She doesn't believe that we're not having sex."

"I know that. I tried to tell her again, but she just scoffed at me."

"What else did she say?"

"Our dads are coming up this weekend."

"I know."

"What's that all about?"

"Some huge deal in Tacoma. They own a property that some billionaire wants."

Edward lifted the lid on the crock-pot. "Holy fuck, woman. Beef stew?"

I smiled and nodded. It was his favorite.

He dropped to his knees and crossed the floor. I started laughing. "Get up, you nut job."

"Isabella Marie Swan. You are an amazing woman, a fantastic cook and your body is slammin'. I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and your beef stew. Please marry me."

"Get the fuck up, Edward."

"Not until you agree to marry me."

"Where's my ring?"

Edward frowned. "You gotta give me a little break here, baby. This was kind of a spur of the moment thing. Say yes and I'll buy you a ring."

"How romantic," I said pushing his forehead with my index finger. "Buy me a ring and I'll say yes."

Edward stared at me for a minute. "Really?"

"Sure, why not?"

"You realize that you'd have to have sex with me first, right?"

"Why?" I asked, playing along.

"Because you may be a lousy lay. I'm not committing myself to you without testing out the goods."

"That's unfortunate. I'm gonna be a virgin when I get married," I deadpanned.

Edward snorted. "Virgin, my ass. I was practically in the room the day you lost that card."

He wasn't really, but he showed up at my dorm room two hours afterwards when I called him crying. The douchbag who popped my cherry finished, got dressed, said "thank you" and took off. Edward let me cry and snot all over his favorite shirt, and then held me all night. Then he beat the shit out of the guy, although he still won't admit that it was him. We joked about it now, but it was traumatic back then.

"I'm born again," I assured. "It's been so long that I'm probably tighter than a virgin at this point."

Edward groaned. "Don't tease."

"Get up, loverboy. It's time for dinner."

~TIL~

"Hi, Daddy," I grinned, kissing my father.

"Hiya, Bells," he returned, giving me a tight squeeze. I let him go and moved to the side. Carlisle was standing with his arms open. I went to him easily. He hugged just like Edward did. It was very comfortable.

"It's good to see you, sweetheart," Carlisle smiled.

"It's good to see you, too."

I turned around to see Edward and my dad gripping hands. Edward was leaning in, whispering something and my dad was laughing.

"What are they doing?" I asked Carlisle in an amused tone.

"Who knows?" he chuckled.

Dinner was pleasant enough. The men asked me about my job and I told them about Rose and the possibility of her new boyfriend. Carlisle told us all about the baby that Esme delivered in the parking lot of the Thriftway. She was an OB-GYN and luckily happened upon Katie Denali, a girl Edward and I had gone to school with. The poor girl was in full labor and couldn't move. Ten minutes later, she welcomed a bouncing baby girl. The baby's daddy was Mike Newton.

Edward smiled and winked at me. Mike Newton had the hots for me in high school. I'd once panicked over the idea that it would be _me_working in the Thriftway and popping out his kids. Turns out that role was meant for Katie. She was the first girl ever to go down on Edward. Yeah, I walked in on that shit. That was the first time I'd ever seen Edward's dick. To this day I think he planned for me to see that. He knew I was supposed to be at his house to study that night. Katie thought I was going to kick her ass and she never offered to service Edward again. He blamed me for his lack of action. I blamed it on his inability to keep his hands off me.

When the talk turned to real estate, it was time to excuse myself.

"I'm sorry, gentleman, but I have to go home," I announced. "I'm tired and I just can't handle all of the business talk. I gave my dad a hug and kiss, and then moved to Carlisle. "I'll see you guys in a couple of weeks, right?"

"Yup," my dad smiled. "Your mother and Esme are about to come kidnap you, though. If you put off the trip home one more time, don't be surprised if they show up on your doorstep."

I laughed. "We'll be there."

I grabbed my coat and purse as Edward stood up. "I'll take you."

"No. You stay here and talk shop. I'll catch a cab."

Edward turned to face our fathers. "I'm just going to get her into the cab. I'll be right back."

My dad and Carlisle looked at each other, and then back at Edward. "Sure, son." Carlisle winked at me and I shook my head. Ridiculous man.

I felt Edward's hand on the small of my back as we walked out. On Friday nights, catching a cab was as simple as walking outside. I had no idea why he felt it necessary to guide me.

Edward whistled and held out his hand. "I won't be too late," he promised.

I laughed. "Okay. Do we have plans?"

He smirked. "I always have plans for you."

"Whatever, dork. Take your time. I'm sure I'll find some way to entertain myself. Just don't take my dad to any strip clubs. I'm not sure if his heart can take it."

Edward lifted his eyebrows. "You don't know your dad very well, do you? That man loves a good lap dance with big fake titties in his face."

"Ewww, gross," I shrieked, pushing him laughed and opened the door to the cab, allowing me to get in.

When I got home, I changed into a pair of sweatpants and a cami. I was in the mood to bake, so I mixed up a batch of chocolate chip banana bread. While I waited for it to cook, I curled up on the sofa and started watching _True Blood_ reruns on HBO.

At ten, my phone vibrated. I picked it up.

"What are you doing?" I sang.

"I'm about to get myself laid. What are you doing?"

"Really?"

"Yep."

"So why are you on the phone with me?"

"Just thought I'd check in, make sure you're not missing me."

"I'm always missing you," I cooed.

"What are you doing right now?"

"Taking my bread out of the oven."

"Banana?"

"With chocolate chips."

"Shit. Save me some."

"I suppose."

"You going to be able to get yourself off tonight, baby?"

"Fuck you!" I laughed.

"Just wanted to make sure you wouldn't be needing my services."

"I'm quite capable of taking care of myself, thank you."

"Yeah. I know. It's a shame really."

"Whatever."

"Goodnight, lover."

"Goodnight, Rose. Be good."

"Not if I can help it."

~TIL~

I must have fallen asleep on the couch because I was suddenly jolted awake by the sound of the front door slamming shut. I heard a loud bang, and then a string of profanities.

I looked at the clock on the DVD player. It was after midnight.

I stood up and stretched my arms above my head, causing my cami to rise up.

"Fuck!" I heard Edward grumble from the other side of the room.

"Well, you guys must have had a good time." I yawned. Edward's hair was wild, his tie crooked and halfway undone. I had to admit, he looked totally fuckable.

"Yeah, we did."

I walked toward him and reached for his tie to remove it. "How was the titty club?"

"Sadly, no titties. We went to the Whiskey Bar."

I looked at him. That place was fucking expensive. The boys never went there without some reason to celebrate.

"What was the occasion?" I asked, getting the knot out and pulling it from around his neck.

"You're too smart for your own good," he said, wrapping his arms around me.

"Well?"

"We got some good news." He'd tried to cover it up with his cinnamon gum, but I could smell the whiskey on his breath. "You didn't drive home, did you?"

"I'm not drunk."

"Edward?"

"I didn't, but I'm not drunk." I was about to pull away, but he refused to let me go. "You smell so fucking good," he moaned, palming my ass. "Why do you insist on tempting me like this?"

"Like what?" I laughed. "I haven't done anything. It must be the bread."

His right hand came up, slid the strap of my cami from my shoulder, and brushed his fingertips over my collarbone.

"Everything you do tempts me."

The look in his eyes was that of a starving man. They were dark and heavy. I needed to defuse him; lighten the mood. The only problem with that plan was that it's not so easy to do when your body reacts like mine was at that moment.

"Everything?" I challenged jokingly, trying to ignore the sudden surge of lust that was coursing straight down my body and concentrating between my legs.

"I've lived with you for three years, woman. Yes, everything."

Warning bells were going off in my head, but for some reason, I was pretending I couldn't hear them. I felt his lips against the skin of my neck, moving towards my ear and along my jaw.

"So, what were you celebrating?" I swallowed thickly.

"The billionaire is buying. Demolishing what's on the lot and putting up a ninety-million dollar business complex."

"Holy fuck," I gasped, reacting to both the news and to the fact that Edward had just pulled my hips to his and was grinding his erection against my stomach.

"Alistair's taking over operations in Tacoma until the project's done," he grunted as he walked me backwards. I was too distracted to notice the direction that we were going.

"Who . . . who's taking over here?"

"Mmmmm, that's what we were celebrating," he mumbled, resuming his oral assault on my neck.

Lips, tongue, teeth, and lips again.

It only took me a minute to understand what he was saying.

"Oh, my God, Edward. Really?"

He looked up at me and grinned. I screamed and jumped into his arms, wrapping my legs around his waist. In a split second, his lips were on mine, my back against the wall. It had been about a year and a half since he had tried to kiss me like this and I was completely taken off guard. I took in a huge breath and he used the opportunity to plunge his tongue into my mouth.

It was then that I realized that we were in the hallway just outside of Edward's bedroom. I wanted to keep kissing him. He tasted so good.

_Whiskey. Fuck!_

I reluctantly withdrew my tongue from the wrestling match it was having with his and dropped my legs to the ground. Edward attempted to reattach himself, but I pushed him away.

"Stop, please."

"I don't want to. Not this time."

"Edward, we're not doing this."

"I'm tired of fighting it. We're always fucking fighting it."

He pulled me back into his arms.

"Get off me," I growled. "You're drunk." I turned and walked back down the hallway.

"Goddamn it, Bella, I'm not drunk. Come back here." I managed to get to the kitchen before he reached me. "Please, Bella? Stop fighting."

I stared into his eyes. He didn't look drunk. He looked...desperate. I knew what he was asking. Could I do it? Did I want to?

"Oh, God," I cried, crashing my mouth back to his. Apparently, I could and I did.

We were frantic; uncontrolled. Hands fumbling, teeth knocking. It seemed like it took me forever to unbutton his shirt, but finally I got it undone and off his shoulders, only to be faced with his undershirt.

"You're wearing too many clothes," I grumbled. I grabbed at his second shirt, yanking it up over his head, and then throwing it to the floor as he lifted me onto the counter top.

The bowls that I'd used to mix the banana bread crashed to the floor with a crash. He pulled the straps of my cami down my arms far enough to expose my breasts. His lips attached to my nipple and I cried out as he swirled his tongue around it, and then sucked on it hard.

"Fuck. Do that again," I whimpered. He brought his mouth up to mine and nipped at my lower lip before returning to my nipples. I ran my hands through his hair and threw my head backwards against the kitchen cabinet. The line was fading quickly; becoming hazier with every lick and suck and bite.

Without detaching his mouth from my tits, he grabbed the waistband of my pajama pants and yanked them down. I didn't even have a chance to lift my hips. He just applied enough force to slip them out from underneath me, leaving me in a pair of black boy shorts. He fumbled with his belt before I slapped his hands away and took over the job. I was about to push his slacks down with my feet when he stopped me.

"Wait," he squeaked. I ignored him. "Bella, fuck. Wait."

"What?" I snapped.

"I'm not fucking you in the kitchen."

"Couch?"

"Bed."

"Too far."

"I'll carry you."

"Whatever. Let's just go."

Edward lifted me from the counter. I held on tight and continued kissing him as we bumped and stumbled our way back down the hallway. He kicked open his bedroom door and laid me down on the bed.

He pulled my underwear down my legs and I swear his eyes and my pussy must have been magnetic. He appeared to be physically incapable of looking away.

"You want to take a picture?" I joked.

"Don't ask me things like that unless you're serious," he said, smirking and licking his lips. He finally let his pants down, along with his boxers, and climbed on top of me.

He hovered above me on his forearms; his chest heaving, the tip of his cock poised at my entrance.

"We can't go back," he warned.

"Are you really trying to talk me out of this?"

"No. Oh, God, no."

We didn't need to talk about protection or safety. We knew everything about each other. Edward probably knew my cycle better than I did. It was survival for him. Knowing when I would PMS allowed him to bring me chocolate and stay out of the way.

He knew I got the shot and we had gone together to get tested less than six months ago. We were good to go.

He grabbed his cock and rubbed the head up and down my opening, spreading my wetness and his pre-come around so that everything was slippery and wet.

"I've been waiting for this for a long fucking time," Edward murmured.

"I know," was all I could say. Why was it so hard for me to admit, even to myself, that I had wanted him, too?

He slid into me slowly. It hurt a little and I had to close my eyes. Edward must have been holding his breath because all of the sudden he let it all out across my face.

The invisible line had officially disintegrated.

"Holy fuck, Bella. You weren't kidding," he gasped. "I'm not even halfway in and I'm about to fucking blow."

_Not even halfway in? Was he kidding?_

I looked down to where we were joined and sure enough a large portion of his cock was still outside of my body. I couldn't help but watch as he continued to push forward ever so delicately. I'd certainly never seen his dick like this before. It was quite fascinating.

"Like a band-aid, Edward," I encouraged. The slow pace was just making the torture that much worse.

"I don't want to hurt you. You're so fucking tight. I'm beginning to believe in the born again bullshit."

I giggled. That was fucking funny. "It hurts now. The sooner you get in there, the faster the pain will go away. Then you can start rocking my world."

Edward snorted and lowered his head. "It would figure you can't even keep your smart mouth out of our lovemaking."

Lovemaking? Is that what we were doing? I loved him, he loved me. Yeah, I suppose that is what we were doing. Not in the traditional sense, but whatever.

"Just shut up and fuck me."

"I love your sweet words, baby. Are you ready?"

I nodded. He thrust his hips forward and I thought that maybe I was being ripped in half, but only for a minute. As my cooch adjusted to the invasion, the slight burning disappeared and I found that I needed him to start moving.

With one look, he understood. He began thrusting, slowly, making sure that I felt every inch, but soon he was speeding up. He put just enough weight on me that his pelvis was resting on my very swollen, very needy clit. With every thrust and rock, push and pull, my sensitive flesh squealed in pleasure.

I was sure that I sounded like a wild animal, but I just couldn't bring myself to give a shit. The pressure was building and building, like a shaken can of soda about to be popped.

"Tell me you're mine," he growled, pumping into me wildly. "Tell me you've always been fucking mine."

"Always," I whimpered. "Always yours."

"Show me," he demanded. "Come on my cock and fucking show me."

He changed his angle just slightly and I was done for. I grabbed his pillow and bit into it to cover my screams. Not that I really needed to. I was pretty sure that our neighbors, who were newlyweds, couldn't care less how loud we were. At the same time, I also couldn't be sure that they wouldn't send the cops thinking I was being murdered. It was a good precaution to take.

I could feel my pussy contracting around him and moments later Edward spilled into me with a deep, throaty cry.

He rolled over, taking me with him without pulling out. Our bodies were covered with a thin sheen of sweat. I could smell the whiskey again, this time seeping from his pores.

I pushed away from him abruptly and he hissed as his dick slid from me, dripping come all over my leg and his sheets.

"You are drunk!" I accused incredulously.

"I'm not," he chuckled.

"I can fucking smell it."

"All I can smell is our sex," he smiled lazily. "I had a couple of drinks, baby. I'm a big boy, I can handle my liquor."

"Fuck," I moaned, the guilt finally seeping through.

"Don't," he said sharply, leaning over me and shoving me back to the mattress.

"Don't what?"

"I know exactly what I'm doing, Bella, and so do you. Don't try to find reasons to regret it." He kissed me softly, licking my bottom lip, and then sucking it into his mouth. Maybe he was right. "Let me make you feel good."

"You just did."

"Let me make you feel even better."

"I don't think that's possible," I said, finally relaxing a little.

"You wouldn't believe what's possible," he smiled wickedly. "I've been saving up for you."

"Oh, uh, um...oh, God..."

~TIL~

"Oohhhh," I groaned as I shifted from my stomach to my side. The muscles in my arms and legs were aching, but nothing was as painful as the throb between my legs.

It took me all of 3.2 seconds to remember exactly why my most intimate of intimates was suffering.

"Motherfucker," I whispered to myself.

"Isn't it a little early for you to be calling me names?" Edward asked from beside me.

"It's never too early for that," I sighed, turning to face him.

"Of course, I should have known," he mumbled, stretching his arms above his head. "So, Bella, not that I'm complaining, but what the hell are you doing in my bed?"

I gaped at him for a moment. He looked dead serious, but the twinkle in his eye as he reached out and pulled my naked body to his told me he was messing with me.

"Fuck you," I barked half-heartedly.

His chest, which my cheek was now resting against, vibrated with his laughter.

"Yeah. Fuck me, indeed."


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Hello again. It's been such a long time since I've posted anything. I've been promising this one for a long time. I'm really nervous about it, especially because so many people enjoyed the TIL one-shot and I really hope you continue to enjoy it.**

**Thank you so much to my amazing beta and friend, jayhawkbb, who supports me even when I'm a total mess and, of course, makes sure I don't look like a complete grammar idiot. And to Melee, Lexie, and Debi for pre-reading, constantly encouraging me, and giving it to me straight. I tweaked post edit so all mistakes are mine.**

******There are some important points that I need to make sure everyone understands. Without spoiling anything, this is absolutely and E and B story. But they have a long journey to take before we get them to the point they are at in the one-shot. This is alluded to in the o/s, so it shouldn't be a surprise, but IF YOU ARE A VERY STRICT E/B ONLY PERSON, I suggest you either stick with the o/s or just start reading at chapter 9. That's all I will say. Thank you in advance for reading. xxx**

~TIL~

Chapter 2:

7 years ago: Sophomore Year

_Tap tap tap. Tap tap tap. Tap tap tap._

The sound was grating on my nerves. I glanced at the clock.

_Tap tap tap. Tap tap tap. Tap tap tap._

Ten minutes left of homeroom.

_Tap tap tap. Tap tap tap. Tap tap tap._

I'd had enough. Reaching over, I grabbed Mike Newton's pen out of his hand and threw it across the room. It hit the wall with a smack before tumbling to the ground.

"Hey!"

"Hey yourself, asshole. You're driving me crazy."

"Well you could have just told me that, Bella. That's my favorite pen."

Mike stood up, shoving his chair back aggressively and huffing as he went to retrieve his precious pen. When he returned, he pulled his chair away from me angrily.

I giggled. "Please stop tapping your pen, Michael," I said, batting my eyelashes at him and shifting so that my skirt moved slightly higher on my thigh. Mike's eyes darted down to my bare legs and remained there for far too long.

_Teenage boys are all the same. Ruled by hormones and easily influenced by a girl in a short skirt._

"Thank you," I purred sweetly, pulling my skirt back down as far as it could go, which, admittedly, wasn't very far.

When the bell rang, Mike grabbed his book bag and rushed to get to the door, holding it open for me as I passed. I winked at him and kept walking. He tried to follow me through the crowded hallway, but Tyler and Eric, two very large varsity football players, blocked his way when they came up behind me.

"Hey, Bella. You coming to my house tonight?" Tyler asked, wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

"Why would I go to your house tonight, Tyler?" I asked innocently, knowing full well that his parents were out of town for the weekend and that he was planning a complete rager. But it was fun to mess with his ego.

"Don't play," he pouted at me.

I laughed. "I don't know, Ty. Rose and I were gonna have a sleepover. You know, wear lingerie, do each other's hair, eat strawberries and whipped cream, and have a pillow fight." I glanced up to see him looking at me, his mouth open and his eyes glazed over.

"Oh, man," Eric groaned from the other side of me.

"You could do all that at my house," Tyler said suggestively.

"Fat fucking chance!" I heard as Tyler was forcefully pushed away from me. "If I'm gonna sex up my girl here, I don't need some lustful little boy jacking off in the corner."

Ah, Rose. My gorgeous, intelligent, yet exceptionally foul-mouthed best friend. Always such a way with words. She slid in beside me and wrapped her arm around my waist, kissing me on the cheek.

"Hey."

"Hi," I laughed.

"There is nothing little about me, Rosalie Hale," Tyler smirked.

"Ugh, whatever. Boys, we've got girl shit to talk about," Rose said, effectively dismissing them as she steered me into the girls' room.

"You're gonna send those guys to the hospital with serious cases of blue balls someday." I leaned against the sink as I waited for her to pee.

"Whatever," she snorted. "Like I'm actually gonna give up my v-card to one of them." She flushed the toilet and came out of the stall, adjusting her skirt. "That cheerleader-football player cliché is such bullshit." She washed her hands and pulled some lipstick from her purse. "I mean, I want a guy who's built like a football player, but actually has a brain in his fucking head." I watched as she puckered her lips and lined them with pale pink gloss. "Oh, and by the way, I swear to God, if Jake tries to look down my shirt one more time, I'm gonna knee him in the balls."

I laughed loudly. My cousin Jake was a junior. He'd been panting after Rose for as long as I could remember.

"He's harmless, Rose. You know that."

"Yes, I do, but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with his constant drooling. I am not a fucking piece of meat." She capped her gloss and shoved it back into her purse. We made our way out of the bathroom and back into the bustling hallway. "I'll see you at lunch," she said, blowing me a kiss.

My next class was Algebra II. We had a test, so it went by quickly. In English, we were discussing _Their Eyes Were Watching God._I found myself spending the majority of the time trying to figure out how several of my fellow classmates made it into an honors class. When the bell rang, I made my way to my locker and grabbed my Biology book, shoving it into my bag.

Walking in, I was greeted by the howling laughter of Jacob and his pack of friends.

"Oh, Cullen! Dude, this is perfect," Jake snorted. I looked over and saw Edward Cullen bowing his head. I scowled over at Jake. Sometimes he could be such a bully. I didn't know Edward that well. He and his parents had moved to Forks in the middle of freshman year. He seemed to be shy and he definitely gave off the geek image. But that didn't make it okay for my cousin to torment him.

I huffed and walked towards where Edward was sitting in the back of the classroom. Pulling a chair up in front of him, I sat down.

"What did he do to you?" I asked, putting my hand on his knee.

Edward was bright red, refusing to look at me. "Nothing."

"Seriously, Edward, I know he did something. Just tell me."

He glanced up, looking at me with a startled expression, and then looked down again to where my hand was.

"He didn't do anything, Bella."

Obviously, I was going to have to turn on the charm.

"Edward," I cooed, leaning into him and sliding my hand a little bit further up his thigh. "Please don't insult me. Despite the airhead stereotype, I'm quite intuitive and pretty damn intelligent, too. Spill."

I heard him suck in a deep breath. I smiled at him and bit my lip coyly.

"He, uh, he dared me to kiss the next-girl-that-came-into-the-room." The words slid from his lips fast and nearly silent, but I heard them just fine.

"And that was me?" I asked the question even though I already knew the answer. He nodded and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "He can be a real shit sometimes," I sighed. Then I smiled. "Let's make sure _you_win that bet then."

"What?" He gaped. I could see the metal bar of his retainer across his teeth and I frowned.

"You're going to have to take that thing out, though."

He continued to stare at me like I was crazy.

"Take out your retainer, Edward. There's no way I'm kissing you with that thing in your mouth." I tapped my foot and smiled at him. He swallowed and put his hand over his mouth, slipping his retainer out under cover. "That's better." I waited for him to make a move, but he didn't. He didn't do anything. "Are you gonna kiss me?"

"I. . . I . . . can't," he stuttered.

"Yes, you can. Jake's not going to accept it if I kiss you first." I licked my lips. "Is it really that bad of an idea?" I asked, sticking out my lower lip.

"NO!" he blurted. "I just. . .Okay?" He closed his eyes and puckered his lips like a six-year-old getting ready to kiss his mother.

_Yeah, I don't think so._

His lips touched mine and I shot forward, landing my ass on his knee. I wrapped my arms around his neck and ran my hands through his hair. He whimpered and almost pulled backwards, but I was holding him to me. I kept my eyes open so I could see his reaction. His own eyes were closed tightly, his mouth was tight. I needed to loosen him up a little.

I swiped my tongue across his lower lip and watched as his eyes shot open in shock. He gasped and I plunged forward. If I was going to do it, I was going to do it right.

I was nearly taken off guard when I felt his hand on the back of my neck and his tongue began to move with mine. For a split second, I forgot where we were and who we were. I moaned, pressing my body against his.

The whistles and catcalls coming from across the room brought me back to my senses. I pulled back and pressed my forehead against his.

"That should do it," I panted.

Edward's chest was heaving and when I shifted my weight I could feel him. He was incredibly hard. And fuck me. . . if I was feeling him correctly. . . much bigger than I ever would have imagined.

"Yeah," he coughed. "Probably."

He lifted his knee and I slid off, adjusting my skirt and getting up to take my seat. The whole room was cheering and clapping. I did a little curtsy and laughed before turning back to wink at Edward. He was, once again, bright red.

The rest of class was uneventful and at the end, I stood up and walked out without a second glance at anyone else in the room.

"What the fuck, Bella?" Jake asked as he chased after me.

"What?" I asked, pretending I had no idea what he was talking about.

"You lost me a bet. You're family. You're supposed to help _me_ out."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." I shook my head, smiling.

"I can't believe you let your mouth go anywhere near him," he grimaced. "That's like kissing a dirty toilet seat. Gross."

"Actually, it was kind of nice," I mused. "He tasted like cinnamon."

"Ewww, I don't want to hear that," Jake said, sticking his fingers in his ears. "You're gonna ruin your reputation if you go around kissing skinny, little geeks like him."

I stopped abruptly and turned to face Jake with an indignant glare. "I don't give a rat's ass about my reputation, Jacob. I never have. It's all you stupid jocks who think way too highly of yourselves who care about shit like that. He's a nice guy." I started walking again. "And I'll kiss whoever the hell I want to, so mind your own business."

I could hear him mumbling under his breath behind me before he ran to catch up again. "You're such a bitch," he growled.

I looked up at him and stuck out my tongue, making him laugh. Jake and I were easy like that. He was practically my brother. Our mothers were sisters and we'd lived two blocks from each other our entire lives. We couldn't stay mad at each other for very long.

We dropped our things off at our lockers and I shoved my lunch into my bag.

"You want something to eat?" he asked as we approached our table in the cafeteria. Just as I was about to sit down, and before I could answer him, Ashton Hiller, a senior who was quarterback for our football team put his hand down on my chair, grabbing my ass and actually touching my cooter.

I screamed and jumped up. "You asshole," I spit, punching at his head.

He dodged my fists and laughed. That is until Jake got his hands on him. He yanked that fucker up by the back of his shirt and threw him to the ground.

"You ever touch my cousin like that again," Jake snarled, "I will make sure you qualify to play on the girls' basketball team this season."

"Dude, I was just messin' around," Ashton defended, his hands up in surrender.

"Go mess around with one of the slut squad and keep your hands off Bella."

I looked around to make sure that there were no teachers about to nail Jake, but instead was caught in the mesmerizing gaze of Edward Cullen. Even with the glasses on, his eyes seared through me. I looked down, feeling my mouth curve into an involuntary smile, and my face got all warm.

_Since when did I become shy?_

I heard Ashton grunt as Rose stepped on his stomach while walking towards me. He reached up for her leg, but halted when she spoke.

"Touch me and die," she growled.

"Bella? Something to eat?" Jake asked, returning to his previous question.

"No, thank you." I shook my head. "Mom packed me a lunch this morning," I said, holding up my backpack.

"Rose?"

"Nope. I'm on a diet."

Jake rolled his eyes. "What the fuck are you on a diet for?"

"Because this," she said, running her hands down her sides from her boobs to her hips, "does not come easily."

Jake followed the movement of her hands hungrily, but then totally ruined it by scoffing before he walked away to get his lunch.

"What's this I hear about you tongue wrestling with Edward Cullen?" Rose said, snagging my bag of carrots as I set it on the table.

"Already? Shit, word travels fast."

"It's true?" she asked, tilting her head and biting down on the carrot. Her face didn't hint at what she was thinking at all.

"Yeah, so what?" I shrugged.

"What for?"

I took a deep breath. "Jake was being a dick. He dared Edward to kiss the next girl to walk into the room and it was me."

A wide grin spread across my best friend's face. "Jake lost?"

I nodded and took a bite of my turkey sandwich.

"Awesome. So. . . what was the kiss like? Did you feel up his retainer?" She smirked.

I choked on what was in my mouth. "No!" I laughed. "I told him to take it out. But it wasn't that bad actually."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Hmm. Anyway, Tyler won't let up on us coming to this party tonight. Are we in or out?" I loved that about Rose. She never stayed on one topic longer than was necessary. I thought about it for a minute.

"Yeah, sure, whatever."

Jake joined us again, dragging along some of his buddies, and we finished lunch. I caught Edward staring at me two more times, but he immediately averted his eyes, and then bolted from the lunch room ten minutes before the first warning bell rang.

At the end of the day, the school emptied out like it usually did. I took my time getting my stuff together. Jake was driving me home, but I'd seen him chatting up Kelly Cooper outside the art room, so I had no idea how long I'd be waiting.

I closed my locker and started walking down the hall, but stopped when I saw Edward leaning down at the water fountain.

"Edward?" I called. I must have scared the bejesus out of him because he jumped back about three feet and dropped his bag. "Hi." I smiled at him, watching his ears turn red and his eyes dart around nervously.

"Uh, hi," he mumbled.

"Sorry about today. I just know my cousin. He can be a real asshat sometimes. I thought it was about time someone beat him at his own game."

"Oh, uh, that's okay. I just. . . I didn't know what to do."

"Didn't know what to do?" I questioned, tilting my head. "Have you ever kissed a girl before, Edward?" I asked quietly. He hesitated, pushing his glasses up further onto his nose before shaking his head slightly. "Really? I was your first?"

He nodded, still refusing to look me in the eye. And just like that, I felt horribly guilty.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I should have figured, but . . . I didn't. I mean, your first kiss shouldn't have been like that."

His head snapped up, his green eyes finally meeting mine. "No! It was good." He swallowed and I watched his Adam's apple bob. He really wasn't that bad looking. Yeah, he was skinny and dorky, but kind of cute . . . in a way. "Thank you."

"What are you thanking me for?" I laughed. "You're a surprisingly good kisser. Especially if that's the first time you've ever done it. I'm impressed." I reached my hand up and ran it through his hair.

"You didn't have to do that, Bella, but I appreciate it. If . . . if there's anything I can ever do for you, just let me know. I'm good at math and biology too. I'm not as good in English, but I can try."

Silly boy thought I needed help with schoolwork. I didn't need anything. Or did I.

"Weeeeellllll," I sang, twisting a lock of hair around my finger and toeing the ground. "There is something."

"What?" he asked quickly.

"Take me to the winter formal?"

"Huh?" he gaped.

"The winter formal. I know it's like six weeks away, but I need a date and I don't want any of the usual meat-heads trying to feel me up all night. Will you take me?"

Edward looked stunned.

"Please?" I begged in my most convincing voice.

"Oh, uh, sure. Yeah, I guess."

I lunged for him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, burying my face into his neck.

"Thank you," I breathed. He smelled good, too. His body was rigid, though, his arms straight out as if he were afraid to touch me.

"So," I said, pulling back. "There's this party tonight at Tyler Crowley's. Wanna go?"

"I don't . . . I don't think that'd be a good idea," he said, shaking his head.

"Why not?"

"I don't exactly fit in with that crowd."

"Whatever. It's them that don't fit in with you." I shrugged. "They don't fit in with me either."

"Then why do you hang out with them?" he asked, looking slightly confused. He seemed to be gaining confidence the longer we talked.

"Because they're my friends; I mean, not all of them are, but a lot of them. Just because we don't always fit in with each other doesn't mean we can't hang out and enjoy each other's company." I grinned, happy I'd come up with something so . . . inspirational.

He stared at me for a few seconds. I hoped he understood that I wasn't just talking about other people. Something about Edward Cullen intrigued me. It wouldn't be so bad to get to know the guy. He shook his head back and forth.

"Maybe some other time?" I asked.

"Yeah, maybe," he murmured.

"Bella," I heard Jake call from down the hall. I turned my head to look at him as he gave me a '_what the fuck_' motion with his hands.

"I gotta go. But . . . we'll talk about the dance, yes?"

"Yeah," Edward said, the corners of his mouth twitching into a smile.

"Cool. See ya."

"Bye."

"We going to Tyler's tonight?" Jake asked, putting his arm around me as we walked out the door.

~TIL~

Over the next several weeks, I noticed Edward a lot more than I had in the past. He drove an old, red Volvo, which was weird, because I knew that his parents were wealthy. Not that they ever flaunted it, but everybody knew. He usually got to school right before the final bell rang, forcing him to run to homeroom. He had a bad habit of biting his nails when he was concentrating and running his hand through his hair when he was nervous. He chewed cinnamon gum and he had good hair – thick and silky.

We didn't really talk, but we didn't ignore each other either. Before I knew it, it was December. My outdoor football cheerleading uniform had been replaced by a much skimpier indoor basketball cheerleading uniform. That only meant that the boys were staring all the harder hoping that some sort of wardrobe malfunction would cause my boobs to fall out during the games.

Edward and I hadn't talked about the dance at all, but I was serious when I asked him. My freshman year, I went to senior prom with a guy named Leo who could not keep his hands to himself; or his mouth. And at the end of the night, he took me to a hotel and expected me to put out. I was fifteen for God's sakes. He was eighteen. I reminded him of that fact and found myself dumped on my doorstep faster than I could blink. At first, I worried that he was pissed and would spread rumors about me, but he didn't. He didn't talk to me anymore either, but that was okay with me.

When the posters with the paint and the glitter started showing up announcing the dance, I figured it was time to confirm our plans. I cornered Edward's ass in the hallway after school.

"Hey," I whispered as he had his head buried in his locker.

He jumped.

"You have to stop doing that," he grumbled.

"Sorry," I laughed. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"You didn't. You just startled me."

I rolled my eyes. "Same thing. Anyway, what time are you picking me up next Friday?"

"Huh?"

"For the dance? Are we gonna pre-party or do you just want to go out to eat?"

Edward adjusted his glasses.

"Did you forget that you said you'd take me?" I asked, sticking out my lower lip a little.

"Uh . . . no. I just. . . I didn't think you were serious. Why do you do that?"

"Why do I do what?"

"Try to be all cute and coy all the time."

My eyes widened and my mouth fell open.

"I . . . I didn't mean it like that," he stuttered. "You are cute, but . . . nevermind."

"No, Edward. I want to hear what you have to say," I urged, a little exasperated.

He took a deep breath and stared at his feet. "I just meant that you don't have to do that with me," he said quietly. I narrowed my eyes. No boy had ever called me out on my teasing before. Most of them liked it and I doubt they even knew what I was doing. "You don't have to go through with it, Bella. I'd understand."

"You think I'm doing it for you?" I snorted in a very unladylike manner. "I thought I already explained this. Taking me to the dance is a favor that you're doing for _me_."

He looked up, studying my face as if trying to tell if I was lying to him. I had no doubt that if I had been, he would have been able to tell because I was a horrible liar. Luckily, I was telling the truth. I saw the corner of his mouth twitch, but it was gone just as quickly.

"I can pick you up. Did you want to go somewhere first?"

I smiled widely. "A few people were talking about meeting at Eric Yorkie's house beforehand. Like around six or seven. His dad's got a new girlfriend who lives in Port Angeles and Eric says he's been spending most of his weekends with her. Wanna pick me up at six and we can go together?"

Edward looked skeptical.

"They're not gonna mess with you. I promise. And if they do, we'll leave."

I didn't want Edward to feel uncomfortable with my friends. He really _was_ doing me a favor.

"Okay. I guess I'll pick you up at six then."

"Yay!" I clapped, throwing my arms around his neck and hugging him. He stiffened minutely and I felt his hand touch my back lightly just before I pulled away.

"I gotta go to practice. I'll see you later."

Thank God I'd settled that, because not two hours later, Ashton Hiller was practically foaming at the mouth to ask me. He was definitely one who wouldn't be able to keep his hands to himself. He couldn't do it on a regular day, much less hopped up on alcohol in a crowded, dark gym with gyrating bodies.

"I've already got a date, Ashton," I smiled sweetly as I pulled my coat on.

"Who?" he demanded. I wrinkled my nose at his tone and walked out the door with him hot on my heels. "No, really, Bella. You're bruising my ego here. I wanna know whose ass I gotta kick for getting to you first."

"You're not gonna kick anyone's ass," I scoffed. Except Ashton probably would and I wasn't about to let Edward get hurt. "You're just gonna have to wait and see."

"You going to Yorkie's before?" he asked, touching my face with the back of his knuckles.

"Yep." I was going to pull away from the intimate gesture, but before I could, my gaze shifted and I saw Edward. He was standing across the parking lot next to his car watching us. I grabbed Ashton's hand and pushed it back towards him.

Jake came barreling through the door seconds later, saving me. I looked around for Edward, but he'd already left. For some reason, I felt guilty.

Over the next week, I fielded all sorts of questions about the dance and who I was going with. I chose not to answer them. It's not that I was embarrassed, I just didn't trust anyone not to harass Edward.

~TIL~

The night of the dance, my parents were making dinner together when the doorbell rang.

"Moooooom, can you get that?" I shouted from my bedroom.

"I'll get it," I heard my dad call back.

_Shit._

My dad wasn't one of those gun-toting, threatening fathers, but he liked to pretend he was to my dates.

My hair was ready, my make-up was done. All I had to do was slip into my dress, which I did as fast as humanly possible. Poor Edward was probably pissing himself. I didn't bother to put on my heels. I just picked them up and raced down the stairs. I stopped short when I got to the bottom. I didn't know what the hell I'd stepped into, though.

Edward was standing in my kitchen drinking a glass of water with a big goofy grin on his face. My dad was laughing, my mom giggling like she was a freaking teenager. I stood there for a moment completely speechless.

"Oh, hey, Bells." My dad smiled at me when he realized I'd joined them.

"Uh. . . hi?" I blinked a few times, trying to make sense of the scene in front of me.

"You look nice," he said, coughing in a way that made me think he was actually covering a laugh. I frowned at him.

"Oh, honey, you look beautiful," my mom chimed. "I'd give you a hug, but my hands are covered in chicken guts.

I wrinkled my nose. "Gross, Mom."

She shrugged and turned back around. It was then that I noticed my date, standing silently, eyes wide, mouth agape.

I smiled at him. He was wearing black slacks and a dark green dress shirt. "Hey, you."

A few noises came out of his mouth, but none of them sounded remotely like a word. I set my heels down on the floor and slipped my feet into them. Edward was still wordless.

"Bells, you didn't tell us that Edward Cullen was your date tonight." My dad spoke up.

I looked at him confused. "I. . . Do you know him or something?"

"I know _of_ him. Well, of his father actually."

My dad took a few steps towards Edward and patted him on the back before walking over to my mom. Edward finally snapped out of his daze and shook his head.

"Uh, yeah, my dad's in commercial real estate."

"Like an agent?" I ask.

My dad and Edward both laughed. "No, not really. His, uh, his company buys up struggling commercial real estate and either manages it or sells it for a profit," Edward said, still sounding slightly nervous.

"So he's in acquisitions," I stated rather than asked.

"Yeah, exactly," he answered, sounding surprised.

"I've been meaning to meet with him about the possibility of doing some work for him," my dad said.

"Huh, cool. Are you ready to go?"

"What time do you plan on having my daughter home, Edward?" my dad voice was calm and easy, not the least bit intimidating. I wasn't sure what was going on. He'd always tried to scare the shit out of my dates.

"I'm not quite sure, Mr. Swan."

"Her curfew's midnight. Call if you're going to be late . . . And call me Charlie."

I narrowed my eyes at my father. "I must be in the Twilight Zone," I muttered, grabbing my coat. Edward helped me slip it on.

"Wait, wait, wait," my mom squealed, running into the room. She was wiping her hands on a towel and had her camera cord in between her teeth. "I have to take a picture."

She threw the towel down and snapped a few shots while Edward and I stood uncomfortably next to each other. Edward must have grown a little because with my three inch heels on, I was only slightly taller than him. That made me feel better. I'd been worried about towering him.

"Okaaaay, Mom. We gotta go."

"Have fun, you two."

I stepped outside and gasped. "What the heck is that?" I asked, taking in the sight before me.

"My dad let me borrow his car. I figured you probably didn't want to be seen in mine."

Parked in my driveway was the sleekest, sexiest, little silver car that had ever been driven along the roads of Forks, Washington; maybe in _all_ of Washington.

"Wow," I breathed.

"It's my dad's midlife crisis car," he laughed. "He bought it last year, but only takes it out on special occasions."

"And this is a special occasion?" I asked, looking over at him.

"His one and only son is going on his first date." He shrugged. "Yeah, I guess it's special."

My heart sped up a little. God, I had given this boy his first kiss and now his first date. I liked Edward, but I was pretty sure I wasn't going to be giving him any more firsts.

Edward hit a button and the car doors popped up. Not open . . . up.

"That's like the car in _Back to the Future_," I squealed.

Edward snorted. "That was a DeLorean. This is a McLaren."

"Whatever. It's cool."

He offered me his hand and I took it, allowing him to lead me to the passenger's side. I slid in and the door shut down. A few seconds later, Edward climbed into the driver's seat. I was in awe of everything around me.

"Are you sure you're not going to get in trouble for driving this? I feel like I'm sitting in something very expensive."

"You are sitting in something very expensive, Bella," Edward laughed. "It's fine. My dad trusts me."

"So I guess you're not going to be drinking tonight?" I asked, a little disappointed that I wouldn't be seeing him loosen up.

"No," he said forcefully. "My dad would string me up by my balls if I even _thought _about tasting alcohol while driving his baby. Maybe another time, though," he said, his eyes never leaving the road.

When we got to Eric's, Edward was careful to park the car away from all the others.

"Doesn't this thing have like . . . a force field or something?" I only sort of teased.

"No, but that's a good idea," he bantered. "Maybe that's how I'll make my first billion dollars; inventing a force field for really expensive cars."

"No stealing my idea, Cullen. Maybe that's how I'll make _my_ first billion."

When we got to the party, Edward kept close, but not too close. We took off our coats and set them in a pile with a bunch of other coats. It took approximately five seconds before the whispering started. Edward shifted at my side.

"Relax," I whispered, wrapping my fingers around his bicep. He tensed up for a moment and sucked in a deep breath. "You okay?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "Fine."

I said hello to a bunch of people as we walked through the crowd. I didn't hear Edward say hello to anyone. When we stopped, I turned to face him. His face was tight, his body tense. I could tell he was getting uncomfortable.

"I'll go get us some drinks. Do you want water or soda?"

"That's supposed to be my job."

I laughed. "You didn't know who you're taking on this date, did you? I've got a secret for you." I leaned in close to his ear and licked my lips. I was so close that the tip of my tongue slid over the shell of his ear. I think I might have heard him groan a little. "I'm not your typical girl, Edward. Don't ever expect me to act like one."

I left him standing there, only slightly hoping he was watching me walk away. When I got to the kitchen, Jake was hanging with Ashton, Tyler, Eric, and a few more of the popular guys in school. Ashton was glaring at me.

"No way. Bella? No. Fucking. Way."

"Yes way. Now be nice or Edward and I will just have to go and have our own private party." I smirked up at him and ran my hand across my collarbone, trying to distract him. It worked for a second, but then Ashton looked back up at my face. He was pissed. Jake's face was a mixture of shock and disgust.

"What are you doing?" he asked. "Is it like a pity date?"

"Yep," I answered. "That's exactly what it is."

I heard someone clear their throat behind me and Ashton's face broke out into a nasty grin. I twirled around to find Edward standing there, his eyes trained down.

"I, uh, I thought I'd come and see how you were doing with the drinks," he said quietly. "Is there a bathroom?"

"Over there, bro," Eric said, pointing to a small hallway off the kitchen.

The second Edward was out of sight I let go of my fury. "You fucking assholes!"

"You're the one who said it, Bella," Ashton laughed arrogantly.

"I didn't get to finish, jerk! I was gonna say that it was a pity date for him. I practically had to beg him to accept. Believe it or not, so far, it's the best date I've ever had and it's barely even started."

"What-the-fuck-ever, Bella. How could you possibly have fun with a guy like that? He probably hasn't even gotten his first hard-on yet."

I'd had enough. I grabbed the front of Ashton's shirt and pulled him to me like I was going to kiss him. Instead I put my mouth to his ear. "I can personally attest that Edward has, in fact, had a hard-on. A very, very impressively large one," I growled. I pushed him away from me, making my way back to the bathroom.

"Edward?" I called out, knocking on the door.

"What?" he asked from my left. I jumped in surprise and turned quickly, facing him.

"I thought. . . I'm sorry," I apologized. "You didn't hear everything."

"Yes, I did."

"You did?"

He nodded and smiled sadly. It broke my heart. I was the one that had put him in that position. I should have known better. Maybe if I had told them who I was going with. Maybe that would have given them the chance to get over it before we showed up.

"Thank you," he murmured.

"For what?"

He leaned in and kissed my cheek. His soft, warm lips lingered and I closed my eyes.

"For defending me."

I shook my head. "I was just being honest, Edward. We shouldn't have come here. These guys are assholes."

"It doesn't matter. I kind of expected it. Do you want to go get something to eat?"

"Yeah," I said, smiling and reaching for his hand. "Let's get out of here."

I didn't leave Edward's side at all the rest of that night. I didn't care about what people said. It didn't bother me in the slightest. He made me laugh. He was a horrible dancer, but he got out there and danced with me anyway. We had fun. He never tried to grope me, and at the end of the night, he kissed my hand. It was awesome.

~TIL~

Over the next few months Edward and I started spending more and more time together. We talked on the phone, we studied together. I tutored him in English. My parents absolutely adored him. Even Rose found herself enjoying his company. The guys at school still weren't happy with him, but they got used to his presence at our lunch table. Mostly they just ignored him, but occasionally they gave him shit. On those days, we found our own table.

By the end of our sophomore year, we were pretty much inseparable. Until Edward's parents stole him away. A month before school ended, Edward's grandmother passed away in Chicago. Carlisle was the executor of her will, and he had no idea how long it was going to take to settle her substantial estate. Edward took his finals early, and then they just left town. I was miserable.

I moped around for weeks, driving not only my parents, but also Rose crazy. Edward e-mailed, called and texted me almost every day, but it wasn't the same.

Finally, after eight, long weeks, I got the phone call I'd been waiting for. The estate had finally been settled and the Cullens were coming home. They were taking the first flight out, arriving in Seattle mid-morning and back in Forks shortly after lunch.

It was almost dinner and I still hadn't heard anything. It was making me antsy. Rose was painting my toenails on the living room floor while we watched a chick flick movie marathon.

"Stop twitching or I'm going to fuck this all up," she scolded.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"You're pathetic. Maybe he met some cute little nerd-girl and decided to run away with her. Maybe they'll have cute little nerd babies," she laughed. I glared at her, which caused her to throw her head back in amusement. When she righted herself, her eyes widened.

"Ho-ly shit!"

I turned my head to see what she was looking at. Edward was standing at my patio door. He looked different, but he still had a big, goofy grin on his face. I jumped up and ran to the door, throwing it open and launching myself into his arms. I had to aim upwards, so I knew that he had grown.

"Hi," he laughed.

"Hi," I breathed into his neck. "I missed you."

I felt his hand slide up my spine, resting between my shoulder blades and holding me tightly. "I missed you, too."

"Well hello, sexy stranger. What the hell happened to you?" Rose asked bluntly.

Edward laughed and blushed. "I got contacts."

"No shit, Sherlock," Rose teased, getting up off the floor and peeling me off of him so she could embrace him. "Wow, I don't even have to bend down to hug you anymore," she laughed. "Jesus, Eddie. How tall did you get?"

"Five-ten," he said shrugging. "Or something."

"Or something." Rose grabbed his chin. "Open your mouth."

"What?"

She pursed her lips and squeezed his cheeks.

"Ouch!" he whined.

"You lost your metal?"

Edward pulled her wrist away from his mouth. "Yeah, that, too," he grinned.

Rose turned around, her eyes telling me what I already knew. Edward had turned into a hottie.

"Are you gonna let me in?" he teased.

"No," I pouted. "Why didn't you call me?"

"I forgot to turn off my phone on the plane and it died."

I gasped playfully. "You could have made the plane crash! Why didn't you use your mom or dad's?"

Edward looked at me sheepishly. "I don't have your number memorized."

"Get out."

"What?"

"How can you not have my number memorized? Get out of my house!"

Rose was snickering behind me and I was having a hard time keeping a straight face.

"You're such a brat." Edward lifted me up over his shoulder and carried me, upside down, into the house. I screeched and began pummeling his back.

Less than a minute later, I landed on the sofa with an "oof." Rose and Edward flopped down on either side of me.

"So what are we doing tomorrow then?" I asked. Edward sucked in air through his teeth causing both Rose and me to look at him. "What?"

"I got a job."

I scowled at him. He was gone for two months and he comes back and tells me he can't hang out because his rich ass has to work?

"You working for your dad or something?"

"Nah," he shrugged. "I'm working for _your _dad."

Rose busted out laughing. I wasn't as amused. He had to be kidding.

"How the hell did that happen?"

He shrugged again. "Don't know. My dad told me I had to get a job and Charlie was offering a spot on his crew."

"His construction crew?" I asked in shock.

"Yep."

"Working construction?"

"Uh . . . yeah," he laughed.

I stood up. "I'm gonna go talk to my dad."

Edward grabbed my arm and pulled me back down. I landed on his lap. He grunted a little, and then shifted, but kept me firmly situated on his thigh. "I need this job."

"Whyyyyy?" I whined.

"Because my dad says I have to work. Your dad's offering me a good deal. We can hang out on my off days."

His eyes were pleading for me to understand. I didn't understand why his rich parents were making him work, but I did understand that he didn't want me to screw it up for him.

"Fine," I acquiesced.

He kissed my cheek and stood up, dumping me on my ass. "Good. I'm gonna go get a drink. Anybody want one?"

Rose and I shook our heads.

When Edward was out of the room, I picked myself back up and sat back down on the sofa, my arms folded firmly across my chest. I wasn't happy. I could feel Rose's eyes on me.

"What?" I grumbled. Rose's lips started to twitch and she pressed them together tightly before speaking.

"Not a damn thing, Bella. Not a damn thing."

~TIL~

**AN: Thank you again for reading.**

**For those wondering what happened to DiMD - in short, last year I gave birth to my daughter who had some pretty complicated medical issues. She required transfer to Children's Hospital NICU and surgical intervention shortly after birth. Unfortunately, our insurance isn't very good. At the time, our focus was on our daughter surviving and not how we were going to pay for her medical treatment, but w****e really hadn't anticipated the possibility that our baby would be sick. **I am not good at asking for help. I am not good at letting people see my vulnerabilities. But I had to do something. I published in hopes that I could relieve some of the financial stress on my family. If you're interested, great, the information is on my profile page. If not, I completely understand. Thank you to everyone who kept us in your thoughts and prayers during one of the hardest times in my life. Today, she is healthy and thriving. She is the light of our family and I couldn't imagine my life without her. :-)


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Hi again. Thank you everyone for reading, following, favoriting. **

**I want to say thank you to my pre-readers, Lexie, Debi, and Mel for all of their support and for always leading me in the right direction. And of course to my fabulous beta jayhawkbb for keeping me in check, on track, and generally sane. :o) As usual, I've tinkered, so all mistakes are mine. **

**Also, wanted to thank the Ficsisters ( ficsister dot com) for mentioning both TIL and AoR on their blog. And TLS for their pimpage as well. I am so sorry if I've missed anyone. I haven't been on FB for several weeks, so I know I probably have, but please know how much I appreciate the recs. xxxx**

**~TIL~**

Chapter 3:

6 Years Ago: Junior Year

"Where is he?"

"He'll be here."

"How do you know?"

Rose turned her head to face me. "What do you mean, how do I know? It's the first day of school, Bella. He has to come. Dumbass."

I knew she was right. I don't know why I was so antsy. Edward had been onsite with my dad near the Oregon border for the previous ten days. He called me after he'd gotten home last night, but he was so tired that his words didn't make sense. It sounded like maybe he wouldn't be coming to school.

"Come on, B. Let's go to class. You can see him at lunch. And then _aaaaall _afternoon."

I'd picked up Edward's schedule for him a few days before school started and dropped it off with his parents. We didn't have any of the same morning classes, but we had all three of our afternoon classes together. I scanned the parking lot one last time before letting Rose drag me inside.

The whispers started almost immediately.

"_Oh, my God, have you seen the new kid?"_

"_That's not a new kid. That's Edward Cullen."_

"_No way. Edward Cullen's a total dork. That guy is so gorgeous."_

"_I'm telling you, that's him. I don't know what happened, but he's totally hot now."_

Three hours of that shit.

By the time lunch came around I was ready to claw out the eyeballs of over half the female population of Forks High School. They made me sick. I wanted to believe that Edward wouldn't fall for their fake asses, but in the back of my mind, I was worried. Edward had never really had attention from other girls. He worked all summer long and on his days off hung around with me and Rose. He could easily be seduced by the idea of popularity. And the moment he got a girlfriend, there was a distinct possibility that he wouldn't want to hang with me anymore.

After stopping by my locker to grab my lunch, I walked to the cafeteria by myself. Well, as much as a hallway full of excited, chattering teenagers would allow anyway. As I pushed my way along with the masses, my phone chimed with a text from Rose.

**_Hurry Your Ass Up_**

I rolled my eyes. She was so freaking impatient.

Walking into the room, I did a quick look around. A lot of familiar faces and some new ones, too. Mostly freshmen. Not the face I really wanted to see, though. I spotted Rose and waved. She was sitting on top of one of the tables. Jake was standing next to her, along with his buddy, Jared. It looked like he was talking to her, but her attention was on me. A smirk appeared on her face as she stared. I felt an arm slide over my shoulders and startled. Looking up, I smiled.

"Hello," Edward grinned down at me. I could smell his cinnamon gum. I instantly felt better, the sense of dread that had been picking at me melted away at his touch.

"Oh, my God," I squealed in my best valley girl voice. "I thought you'd been eaten up by the horde of little hookers that have been talking about you all morning."

Edward laughed and kissed my head. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh don't pretend you haven't seen the way they're looking at you." I glanced around the cafeteria again. It seemed like all eyes were on us now. "And the way they're glaring at me."

Edward started walking forward, his arm never leaving my shoulders. Just before we reached the table, I stopped him.

"What's the matter?" he asked, looking at me with concern.

I put my hand on his chest. "Nothing. I just really missed you."

"It's been ten days, Bella."

I stuck out my bottom lip.

"I missed you, too." He smiled, his hand cupping my chin as his thumb passed over my cheek. "Now let's go eat. I'm fucking starving."

I gaped at him.

"Now what's the matter?" he groaned.

"_You_ have a potty mouth, Mr. Cullen."

Edward laughed. "I've spent the last ten weeks with a bunch of construction workers, B. What did you expect?"

"You're growing up so fast," I cooed, pinching his cheeks obnoxiously.

Edward pushed me away from him gently, before pulling me back and wrapping his arms around me in a giant bear hug. "And you're such a smartass."

"That's funny, 'cause Rose called me a dumbass this morning," I snarked.

"I guess it must take one to know one," he responded sarcastically.

If I had been paying a little bit more attention, I probably would have noticed the entire cafeteria watching our exchange. The year before, people only noticed us long enough to mock us, or rather, Edward. They questioned our friendship and there was even a rumor that he was paying me to improve his reputation. But now. . . now it was different.

"Hey, sexy stranger." Rose winked.

Jake scoffed and shook his head. He then tilted it at Edward. "What's up, man?" he said stiffly. Edward mimicked the motion, but didn't say anything.

The two had come to a silent understanding a few weeks before when I dragged Edward along to a bonfire down at First Beach. It was just supposed to be family; me, Jake and his other cousins on his dad's side. Needless to say, Jake wasn't happy and tried to pick a fight with Edward. But Edward was no longer the small kid who couldn't physically defend himself. His growth spurt had put him on equal footing and his summer of hard manual labor had built up some impressive muscles. Some VERY impressive muscles. All he had to do was stand his ground and Jake backed off.

A few other people joined us. They were mostly girls from the cheerleading squad and a couple of Jake's buddies, but I noticed that our half of the cafeteria seemed a lot more crowded than usual.

It was funny to watch Edward interact with everyone else. He was outwardly confident and sure of himself. Meanwhile, under the table he was pressed close to me. I could feel him tense and flex whenever someone made a comment or asked a question that made him uncomfortable. He'd take swipes through his hair, which to anyone else didn't mean much, but I'd slip my hand into his and squeeze, feeling him relax instantly. I smiled. He was still my sweet, shy boy underneath it all. I hoped he always would be.

Edward's confidence only grew. He made friends - lots of them, but I never doubted that I was his favorite. Other than the classes we had apart, we were inseparable. He even joined the football team so he could go with me when we travelled. Okay, that wasn't the only reason, but that's what I liked to tell people just to bust his balls. Of course, eventually he ruined my fun by completely agreeing.

The team was thrilled to have him because he was really fast. He played running back and was slippery; like a greased pig. Any time someone tried to put their hands on him, he just dodged the other direction and was gone.

Of course, then there were those moments when half a dozen guys would come barreling down on top of him, or even worse, when someone took him down really hard. The collective "ooooohhhhh" coming from the stands always made me turn around to look when I was cheering, my heart racing until I saw him get back up on his feet.

~TIL~

On my seventeenth birthday, I awoke to Edward standing over my bed.

"What are you doing?" I mumbled, turning over.

"I've come to take you to a happy birthday breakfast," he said, pulling the covers down.

"Watch it! I could be naked under here," I growled, trying to pull the covers back up.

"You're not naked. Trust me, I'd know."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"You seen any naked women lately?"

"Maybe."

I laughed a disbelieving laugh. "Okay."

Edward's lips turned down into a frown. "Get up. Rose and Jake are meeting us at the diner in . . ." he looked at his watch, "fifteen minutes."

I let him pull me out of bed before stumbling to the bathroom. After one of the fastest showers of my life, I put on a pair of jeans and a sweater and joined my parents and Edward in the kitchen.

"Good morning," my mother cooed. "Happy birthday, baby." She wrapped her arms around me and rocked me back and forth a few times before relinquishing me to my dad, who kissed my head.

"Happy birthday, Bells."

"Thanks, Dad."

Edward dodged my mother's slap and managed to steal a piece of bacon, shoving it into his mouth with a victorious grin.

"Now you stop it," she scolded, her lips twitching. "I thought you were going to breakfast."

"We are," he nodded. "But I'm a growing boy, I need lots of food."

My mother pursed her lips together. "You are a pain in the butt, Edward Cullen. Get out of my kitchen."

Edward laughed and grabbed my hand.

"And don't forget about dinner tonight!" My mother yelled behind us.

"We won't!"

We were having a big family dinner at a little Italian place in Port Angeles. It was the same every year, except that this time, the Cullens would be joining us. Esme and my mom had gotten ridiculously close. Add Jake's mom, my Aunt Elizabeth, into the mix and they were like a bunch of giggling school girls.

When we got to the diner, Rose was glaring at Jake. He was grinning triumphantly at her.

"Oh, God, what did you do now, Jacob?" I groaned.

"I didn't do anything," he protested. "Ice princess here just doesn't like to hear the truth."

"Do I even want to know?"

"No," Rose snapped. "He's being a dick. Jacob Black," she said, poking her finger at his chest, "I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole. You're a dog and I don't know where you've been."

Jake opened his mouth, no doubt to spout off some nasty retort, but I covered it with my hand.

"Don't. Please? Can you just shut up and be nice?"

Jake nodded and stood up to give me a huge hug. "Happy birthday, cuz. One more year and you'll be all grow'd up like me."

"Yeah. You're real grown up." Rose snorted.

"Rose," I whined.

"Sorry. I'll be good."

The rest of breakfast went by with minimal bickering.

"Those two are ridiculous," I griped as Edward and I left the diner. He pulled into the parking lot of the school and turned off the car. I started to get out, but he stopped me.

"Hold up a sec, B. I got something for you." He rummaged around in his backpack before pulling out a box. "I didn't know what to get you," he mumbled.

I unwrapped the box and lifted the lid to find myself staring at a necklace with a little silver sun.

"Edward," I smiled. "This is beautiful."

"I was at the mall in Seattle with my mom a couple weekends ago. I spent all day trying to pick something and I sat down next to this woman who was singing to her baby."

I stared at him. This was an odd story to be telling me.

"She was singing '_You Are My Sunshine,'__" _he explained._ "_It made me think of you. 'Cause, ya know? You make me happy." The corner of his mouth lifted as he looked down.

I felt my eyes tear up. That was possibly the sweetest thing that anyone, let alone any guy, had ever done for me. I leaned towards him and hugged him tightly.

"I love you, too," I sniffled.

~TIL~

By the time homecoming came around, Edward was just one of the guys. Gone was the nervous, stuttering kid who blushed easily. In his place was the laid back joker I'd always known. Even Jake had warmed up to him. They were constantly bantering back and forth as they waited for me after practice.

Just like every other dance, the chatter started weeks before the actual event. I was sitting in Homeroom, essentially twiddling my thumbs, when I overheard a really entertaining conversation.

"Are you going with Jared?"

"Yeah, he asked me yesterday. He was so sweet about it, too. Who are you going with?"

"I don't know yet. Eric asked me, but. . . I haven't said yes yet."

"Why not?"

"I'm sort of hoping that someone else will ask. We talk every day in World History, but I don't know."

"Who?"

It wasn't that I was intentionally eavesdropping, but I couldn't help it. I began to feel a little odd, the hairs standing up on my arms like when you know someone is watching you. I looked up and saw both girls staring at me. They quickly turned away, but I understood.

Right on cue, my phone beeped with a text.

**_What RU doing?_**

I grinned.

**Listening to girls talk about U.**

**_Really? Which girls?_**

**Does it matter?**

**_Uh, yeah._**

**What's it worth?**

I waited for an answer. A minute ticked by, then two.

**Edward?**

**_I'm thinking_**

**_I'll take U for a ride in the McLaren._**

**Just a ride? That's so not worth it. Let me drive.**

**_No!_**

**Then no girls.**

**_What RU, a pimp?_**

I laughed out loud, garnering attention from my fellow homeroomers.

**I'm YOUR pimp biatch. ;) Do U wanna know or not?**

**_Fine. But if my dad finds out I let you drive, U have to clean my room & do my laundry for a year._**

**Deal. Jess Stanley wants you to ask her to the dance.**

**_Ewww._**

I laughed again.

**You should prob 86 the chitchat every day in WH then.**

**_Duly noted. CU soon. _**

I put my phone back in my bag and waited for the bell to ring.

~TIL~

"Bella?" Edward asked as we lounged on the sofa that night.

"What?" I said, throwing a peanut M&M at him.

He jerked his head, trying to catch it in his mouth, but since my legs were tangled with his, movement was limited and it ended up hitting him in the eye.

"Ouch," he laughed. "Are you going to Homecoming with me?"

Tilting my head, I narrowed my eyes in thought.

"I don't know. Are you asking me?"

"I don't know. Would you say yes?"

I shrugged. "Well, since no one else has asked me, I guess so."

"Wow. Thanks. I feel so special," he deadpanned. I giggled. "Is that a yes?"

I nodded and tossed another M&M at him. This one he caught. He smirked and winked as he chewed. Cocky jerk.

~TIL~

"You are not."

"Yes, I am."

"Are you insane?"

"Probably."

"You do realize he's going to think you're into him, right?"

Rose rolled her eyes. "It's Jake, Bella. I could blink in his direction and he'd think I was into him. There's no one else worth messin' with."

"Are you planning on messin' with my cousin?"

Rose wrinkled her nose. "No."

"Hmmmm. I suggest you wear a turtleneck and waders then."

Rose scoffed. "Whatever. You know I'd make that shit look good."

~TIL~

"What time is Edward coming to get you?"

"Six."

"You guys going to dinner?"

"Yes."

"Where?"

"Why are you asking me so many questions?"

"Because you're going on a date. I like to know what you're doing and where you're going."

I stared at my dad. "Dad, it's Edward. It's not a date."

"No?"

"No," I laughed. "He's my best friend."

"I thought Rose was your best friend."

"She is, too. I guess I could have gone with her, but she's going with Jake."

"She is?" my dad asked, surprised.

I nodded.

"Hmmm."

"Are you done with the third degree?"

"Yeah. . . So, what time are you going to be home?"

~TIL~

We were meeting Rose and Jake at the Lodge for dinner. It was pretty much the only decent place to go if you wanted to stay local. Luckily, Edward was smart enough to make reservations because we were able to bypass all the other idiots who thought they'd be able to just coast in on a Saturday dance night; including Jessica Stanley and Eric Yorkie.

"Hey, Bella," Eric said smoothly as we passed by. "Cullen."

"Yorkie," Edward returned, his arm draping over my shoulder. He glanced at Jessica and smiled a little, but didn't say anything. I could see the hope fade from her eyes. I kind of felt bad, but only for a minute, until she turned to me, a sour expression etched on her perfectly painted face.

"Hi, Eric," I cooed, flashing him a coy smile. Edward's arm slid down my back and rested on my hip as he guided me through the tables. Other kids from our school smiled and waved. Jake and Rose joined us about ten minutes later, both with annoyed expressions on their faces.

"You're late," I scolded.

"Yeah, well, if Miss Perfect here didn't take so fucking long to get ready, we would have been here ten minutes early."

"I was ready!" Rose bit. "You had to go and try to put your mouth on me."

"It doesn't take that long to put that lip shit back on."

"You messed up my hair, too. I didn't spend two hours getting ready just to have you fuck it up before we even got out of the house."

I glanced over at Edward, trying to contain my laughter. He was doing the same thing. We watched them bicker, stopping long enough to order sodas from the waitress. Finally, we'd both had enough.

"Guys!" Edward interrupted. "Chill. Who cares? You're here."

Rose huffed and snatched her diet coke from the table just as the waitress set it down. We ordered our food and she disappeared again.

"Jacob Black!" I whisper yelled when I spotted him pouring liquid from a flask into his soda.

"What?" He shrugged. "E, you want some?"

Edward shook his head. "Nah, I got some provisions for later."

"You're going to get us kicked out," I seethed.

"Since when did you become Little Miss Goodie Goodie?"

"I'm not. I just . . . can't you just wait until you don't have to drive anywhere for a few hours?"

Jake blew me off, winking as he bypassed his straw and gulped down his laced drink. Rose set her glass down in front of Jake, tapping her fingernails against the glass.

"What?" he asked, without looking at her.

"I would like some," Rose purred, leaning into him. Jake's eyes flickered downwards. She was giving him a straight-shot down her dress.

"Rose!" I scolded, for the titty teaser as much as for the alcohol. I wasn't a prude by any means, but first of all, one of them had to drive. Second, she was leading Jake on and it wasn't fair to him. I loved Rose like she was blood, but Jake actually _was _blood. He may have had his asshole moments, but he really, really did like Rose.

I watched as he obliged her. Edward's warm hand appeared on the back of my neck, massaging lightly. I leaned into his touch.

Dinner passed by without any additional drama. Rose and Jake continued to banter, but much more playfully. They were flirting. It was weird. I caught Edward's eye a few times. He wasn't sure what to make of it either.

Jake refortified Rose's drink when she got a refill, but kept his own non-alcoholic. I think it was because more than once Edward and I pointed out that we weren't going to let him drive if he had any more.

After dinner, Edward guided me to the McLaren. I giggled when he hit the button to open the door, just like I did every time he did it. Edward laughed, rolling his eyes at me.

"You're such dork."

"What? It's funny. I keep wanting to call you McFly."

"I'm gonna drop your ass back home if you're not careful."

I stuck out my lower lip. Edward wrapped our entwined hands around my back and pushed on my lower back, bringing me towards him. Before I could register what he was doing, he leaned in and sucked my protruding lip into his mouth.

I instinctively moved my mouth against his in the tenderest of kisses. My eyes were closed and time seemed to stand still. It was nothing like the one and only time I had kissed him before; that first time. There was no tongue, there was no urgency. It was just us. A honking horn brought me to my senses and I pulled back.

"Sorry," he said, offering me his goofy grin. Except . . . his goofy grin was kind of morphing into something else – maybe not so goofy. The emotions in my body were conflicting with the thoughts in my head.

"It's okay," I responded almost shyly. While he made his way around to the driver's side, I touched my tingling lips.

The short car ride to the school was quiet and a little awkward. I wasn't sure what to say and apparently, neither was Edward. By the time we got there, though, the tension had eased. Edward pulled a bag from the back seat and pulled out a flask along with a bottle of _Smirnoff Ice_. He twisted the top, handing it to me.

"Thank you," I said happily.

"My pleasure. I snagged it from my mom."

"Isn't she gonna notice?"

"I hope not." He laughed and took a swig from his flask. We watched as other kids walked by us to go into the gym – couples, groups, a few stragglers. Not being much of a drinker, by the time I'd finished my second bottle, I was feeling nice and fuzzy.

We joined Rose, Jake, and three hundred of our fellow classmates in the gym. Edward must have been feeling pretty good and relaxed, too because he started to get a little handsy. When I stood up from one of the side tables to straighten out my dress, he pulled me down onto his lap.

"Hello there," I giggled.

"Hi." He nuzzled his face into my neck.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing," he murmured, his hands sliding up my sides.

"That doesn't feel like nothing." I tilted my head and felt his lips attach to my neck.

"What does it feel like?"

"It feels like my best friend trying to get fresh with me."

Edward snorted, warming my neck with his hot air.

"Oh, that was sexy," I laughed.

"Fresh? You sound like my grandma."

"Your grandma?" I scoffed. "You sure do know how to win over the ladies, Edward. No wonder you can't get a date."

"I can get a date," he protested. "I prefer you."

"How come?" I challenged.

"'Cause you're my best friend. I don't have to win you over." He grinned. I palmed his face, pushing his head back and away. Stupid boy. Stupid, amazing, incredible boy whom I loved so much.

Our attention was caught by a commotion over by the door. There were guys high-fiving and doing all those things that guys do when they get in a group and think they're cool. Their dates were huddling together, not too far away, but out of the mayhem of testosterone.

The circle broke and Kelly Cooper, the girl Jake had hooked up with the year before, stumbled out with none other than Ashton Hiller on her arm. Her dress was wrinkled, her hair all messed up and there was a bright purple hickey on her neck that I could see even in a darkened room from twenty feet away. Classy.

"What's he doing here?" Edward growled. "Didn't he graduate?"

"Ick, that's gross," I whined when the two made a very public display of their tongue wrestling, Ashton's hand nearly exposing her boob as he groped her. "Yes, he did."

I looked around for Jake. He had been Kelly's first. They didn't date long, a couple of months, but she was a really sweet girl . . . before. They broke up when she went to the east coast to be a summer camp counselor. I knew that if Jake saw her like that, it would hurt him.

Too late.

Jake's eyes were on her like a hawk.

"Edward?" I said, my voice panicky.

"I'm going."

He stood up, sliding me off his lap, and half-walked, half-ran towards where Jake was seething. When Edward got there, he put a hand on my cousin's chest to stop him from starting something that would get him kicked out and possibly suspended.

When I reached them, Rose was pulling on Jake's arm from behind and Edward was trying to rationalize with him. We were finally able to get Jake to calm down long enough for Rose to pull him to the other side of the gym. I glanced back over at Ashton. He was watching us, laughing. He winked at me, making me feel skeevy. Kelly was trashed and completely clueless. She hung limply at Ashton's side. I almost felt bad for her. I had no idea what had happened to her, but she was completely different. I threaded my fingers with Edward's and watched Ashton's eyes flicker in recognition and surprise. Edward squeezed my hand and looked down at me and then back at Ashton.

"Come on, B. Let's go dance."

I obliged, happy to leave the drama. Edward twirled me around, making me squeal and giggle. He was slightly better than the previous year, but only because it doesn't take much skill to rub up all over each other. Jake and Rose joined us a few minutes later. Whatever she was saying to him was keeping his attention off of Ashton and Kelly, who were still making a spectacle of themselves. Less than half an hour after they arrived, they were carted off by our principal, Mr. Banner.

As the dance was starting to wind up, I noticed Rose was draped over Jake. They were swaying to a slow song and her mouth was dangerously close to his.

"I thought she wasn't into him," Edward whispered.

"Mmmhmm," I hummed.

"Is she drunk?"

"Nope. Not anymore."

"What's that about then?"

I watched as Jake whispered in her ear, making her laugh. I shrugged. "I don't know. I guess we'll find out." I turned to face him. "Are you okay to drive?"

"Yep."

"Are you sure?"

Edward nodded. "Positive."

I narrowed my eyes. Edward's lips twitched and he put his arm around me to lead me out. He put his mouth against my ear.

"I haven't actually had anything to drink." He handed me the flask. "Want some Gatorade?"

~TIL~

It really didn't take that long to figure out what was going on with Rose and Jake. The following Monday, they strolled into school together, his arm around her shoulders. Everyone was whispering; the rumors were rampant.

"_I heard she gave him a blowjob in the girls' bathroom at the dance."_

"_Well, I heard someone saw them screwing in his car in the parking lot."_

I wanted to defend Rose; defend them both. Nothing of the sort had happened at all, but Rose told me it was "_none of their fucking business_" and to leave it alone.

It was really weird seeing them together, even though they weren't overly affectionate at school. For the most part, Rose was still her tough, snarky self and Jake was as cocky as usual. But . . . it was in the way she leaned into his side when they stood next to each other. It was in the way she looked at him when she thought no one was paying attention.

So much for not touching him with a ten foot pole.

~TIL~

Before I knew it, it was Christmas break. The first few days were great. I slept in until almost noon every day, then got up and drove over to Edward's to be lazy with him. One day, we drove over to Seattle with Rose and Jake to finish our Christmas shopping. We drank a lot of coffee, ate tons of chocolate and stayed until after dark so we could drive around some of the fancy neighborhoods to check out the Christmas lights on the big houses. It was one of the best Christmas breaks I'd ever had. Unfortunately, Christmas Eve and day, we were practically forbidden to see each other. Edward had family coming in from out of town and my parents and I spent the day with Jake and my aunt and uncle. I snuck away, texting Edward in hopes that he could come rescue me, but he couldn't get away. Then I got in trouble and my dad took my phone away for the rest of the day.

New Year's, though, was a whole different story. Our parents were going out to a big party that Cullen & Associates was throwing. The plan was supposed to be that we'd go down to First Beach with a big group of people for a bonfire and to watch the fireworks. We made it for a little while, but Jake and Rose left early and after people started throwing up and jumping through the fire like idiots, we decided we'd rather spend a low-key night by ourselves. A party that out of control would most likely get broken up before midnight anyway.

When we got back to Edward's house, he grabbed one of his t-shirts and a pair of Esme's pajama pants for me so I could be comfortable.

"Sit down," he demanded when I walked into the den.

"Excuse me?"

Edward put his hands on my shoulders, pressing down until I couldn't fight him any longer. I collapsed onto the sofa. "Stay." He smirked.

"What am I, a dog?"

He handed me a glass with a small amount of brown liquid in it. "You are most definitely not a dog, B. Here."

"What's this?"

"This, my friend, is an eighteen-year-old Bowmore."

"What the hell is a Bowmore?" I asked. I sniffed the glass and grimaced. "That smells really fucking strong."

Edward chuckled. "It's whiskey. A really good one."

"Do you drink this stuff?"

He shrugged. "I'm about to."

"I get another first, huh?" His face went blank for a moment, almost like he didn't understand what I meant, before his hybrid goofy grin, sexy smirk thing spread across his face.

"You sure do. Aren't you excited?"

"It depends." I sniffed the glass again. "I'm scared."

"Don't be scared. It's good stuff. My dad's favorite."

I lifted the bottle from the coffee table. "Are we going to drink all this?"

"No, no, no. We're tasting. If we drank all this, my father would murder me – and you." Edward sat down beside me and pushed play on the remote. "Assuming we didn't die from alcohol poisoning." I frowned at him. "I'm kidding, B. Relax." He held up his glass. "Cheers." We clinked our glasses together and I plugged my nose before taking a drink. The burn started immediately. I had to close my eyes to keep them from watering.

"Oh, my God," I rasped. I opened my eyes to find Edward shaking his head, his tongue poking out through a huge grin. I have no idea how much we drank or when we finally fell asleep, but at some point, I heard Carlisle's voice.

"No, Charlie, they're fast asleep on the floor in the den. Yes," he chuckled. "They are fully dressed. It looks like they may have been into my liquor cabinet. Do you want me to bring her home? No, that's fine with me. Okay, I'll bring her home tomorrow."

Edward's arm was slung over my back, his breath on my face. He let out a snore and smacked his lips. I opened my eyes long enough to see his mouth open, a tiny trail of drool on his chin. When my head started to spin, I closed my eyes again and fell back asleep.

The next morning, I heard people moving around long before I moved a single muscle. Upon the realization that Edward and I had been caught red handed getting trashed and spending the night together, I decided to just pretend I hadn't woken up yet.

Unfortunately, there was really only so long I can play asleep; especially when Carlisle made no effort to turn down whatever football game was playing. He yelled and cheered for every single play.

"Really, Dad?" I heard Edward groan while shifting. I pried my eyes open to see Edward sitting up.

"Oh, good. You're awake," Carlisle deadpanned.

"Not for long. Come on, B, let's go to my room and go back to sleep." He reached out for me to help me stand.

Carlisle laughed loudly. "You're funny, son. Your mother's making breakfast in the kitchen. I suggest greasy food, a big glass of water and a Motrin . . . or three."

Edward grunted and started pulling me out of the room.

"I think I'm still drunk," I whispered, stumbling over my own feet. "I feel like shit."

"Me, too," Edward mumbled. "My mouth feels like I just ate a whole bunch of cotton balls." He stopped walking abruptly. "Shit. I hope they don't think we . . ."

"We what?" I asked, rubbing my eyes and obviously not catching on.

"Uh. . . That we, ya know?"

Oh. Oooooh. Shit. That could make things complicated. They'd never leave us alone again. Esme suddenly appeared in front of us, her hands on her hips.

"Huh, well, good morning," she said, a little louder than necessary.

"It's not what it looked like," Edward blurted.

"Oh, really? Because it looks like my son and his best friend got drunk on my husband's $200 bottle of whiskey and passed out in the den. "

Edward opened his mouth, and then shut it again. Esme cocked an eyebrow, daring us to contest.

"Okay, it is what it looks like," Edward admitted.

"Hmmm. I thought so. Get in here and eat something. Bella, your parents will deal with you when you get home. Edward, you're grounded for two weeks."

We both nodded pathetically and followed her into the kitchen.

Esme drove me home about an hour later. My punishment was similar to Edwards, although I was still allowed to do my after school activities. I also got a really long lecture about the dangers of drinking while my brain was still growing and how much trouble we could have gotten our parents into.

I was willing to accept being grounded, but not being able to hang out with Edward and Rose after school for two weeks was just plain painful. The last morning of our restriction, I greeted Edward by jumping into his arms and wrapping my legs around his waist. Pathetic, I know, but I was seventeen. My friends were my life.

~TIL~

Giggling. There was very loud giggling and it was coming from the general direction of my locker. The halls were deserted and I had no idea who it was coming from.

I rounded the corner and halted when I saw Katie Denali, another junior who was on the dance team, writing something on the inside of Edward's forearm. Edward was smiling at her. He lifted his arm to see what she had written and I saw his lips move, but I couldn't hear what he said.

I frowned. Katie was virtually perfect. She was pretty, smart, and nice. And she had huge boobs. I think it was fate, because her middle name was Diana. Everyone called her Katie Double D.

I watched her stick her fingertips in the waistband of Edward's jeans and pull him closer to her. I sucked my teeth loudly, catching Edward's attention. His head lifted and his cheeks turned pink as he pulled away from the gorgeous girl. She said something to him and turned around, throwing her hair over her shoulder as she walked towards me.

"Hi, Bella," she said quietly.

"Hi, Katie. Bye, Katie." I said it nicely.

Approaching him, I could very clearly see the pen ink on his arm.

It read: **Call me. KD 360-555-4235.**

"Got a new girlfriend?" I teased.

"A new one? Did I have one before?" he challenged.

"God, I hope not. That would be a seriously dysfunctional teenage relationship with you spending all your free time with me instead of her."

Edward chuckled, grabbing my stuff as I shoved it at him.

"Yeah. Dysfunctional. Wouldn't want that now, would I?"

~TIL~

Four months after Jake and Rose started dating, Rose and I were sitting in my house, studying for a trig test, when she dropped the bomb on me.

"I slept with Jake."

My pencil stopped dead mid practice problem. I looked up. "Uh . . . slept with him or had sex with him?"

Rose scowled at me. "Don't be stupid, Bella. You know what I mean."

I did, but it's not every day one of your best friends announces she's lost her virginity. Much less that she'd lost it to your cousin. I needed a few seconds to recover. "Oh, God. Really? When?"

"Don't say it like that," she scolded. "Last night."

"Why?"

"Seriously? Because he's my boyfriend and he looks good naked. I just couldn't help myself." She rolled her eyes.

"Sorry. It's just. . . weird."

"It's not weird."

"It is for me," I told her. "I'm not sure I really wanted to know that." I looked at her face. She obviously needed to talk to someone about it. "Do you love him?" I asked.

"Yeah, I guess," she sighed. "I mean, not in a 'I want to spend the rest of my life with him' way, but I wouldn't have done it if I didn't."

"Wow."

"Yeah. Except, it really wasn't," she snorted.

"Bad?"

"It was . . . awkward."

"Did it hurt?" I grimaced.

"No. It just . . . he's not the Casanova in the sack he wants everyone to believe."

"Okay, I've heard enough," I squealed, covering my ears. Rose laughed and threw a pillow at me. I returned my attention back to my practice test.

"When are you going to give it up to Edward?"

"Shut up," I groaned.

"I'm serious, Bella. He was totally macking on Katie Double D the other day. You don't jump on that wagon, it's gonna leave you behind."

I thought about what she was saying, but Edward and I weren't like that. I loved him and he loved me, but not _that_ way. It still made me a little nervous, even a little jealous, to think of him going out with anyone though.

"Whatever," I said dismissively.

"All right. Don't say I didn't warn you."

~TIL~

The sun was just starting to set when I pulled up to Edward's house one afternoon in April. I'd spent the last three hours with the Yearbook Committee finalizing everything to go to print and was exhausted, but we had an AP history test the next day and I hadn't studied at all.

I didn't bother knocking; I never knocked. I was pretty much part of the family and even had my own key – not that I ever had to use it. Carlisle was at my house having a beer with my dad and Esme was at the hospital delivering a baby or something.

With my iPod on full blast, I took the stairs two at a time and pushed open Edward's bedroom door. My eyes nearly popped out of my head as I spotted him standing in the middle of the room with his jeans around his ankles. Katie Denali was on her knees in front of him. His eyes were closed. My heart nearly exploded out of my chest at the sight.

I dropped my iPod.

It ripped the earphones off my head and hit the floor with a loud bang. Edward's eyes flew open. Katie's head whipped around without removing Edward's dick from her mouth.

"Fuck!" Edward screamed. Katie released him.

"Oh, shit. I'm sorry," she cried, her eyes darting back and forth between me and Edward. My hand flew to my mouth, a painful knot forming in my chest. I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry, but I could not tear my eyes away from the massive appendage between Edward's legs. Yes, I'd felt it before, but seeing it in the flesh was a whole other experience. Seeing a real life, erect penis was . . . wow.

I was startled out of my cock daze by Edward pulling his pants up and covering said appendage.

"Jesus, B. What the fuck? Don't you knock?"

I stared at him in shock and embarrassment and shook my head. "I never knock."

Katie scrambled up to her feet and grabbed her purse from the floor. "I . . . uh. . . I'll see you later, Eddie," she squeaked. She ran past me, hunched over and defensive, refusing to make eye contact. I watched her leave and then turned back to face my best friend.

"Holy shit!"

"Oh, my God," he groaned. He ran his hand through his hair, coming to rest behind his neck. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"I am _so_ sorry."

He shook his head. "I can't believe you."

I frowned. "You can't believe _me_? I didn't do anything."

"You just ruined my first . . ."

"You knew I was coming over!" I interrupted before processing what he'd just said. Then I stopped, my eyes growing wide. "You've never?"

"No, I haven't. Thanks," he grumbled, his cheeks turning pink. I hadn't seen him blush in a while. I guess it made sense that he'd never gone very far with a girl, but I hadn't ever really thought about it before.

"It's not like I meant to. Seriously, Edward. Did you forget I was coming over?"

"Uh, yeah, kinda. I got distracted."

"No kidding." I laughed unintentionally, not because anything about the situation was funny, but because I was a little hurt. A part of me wondered if he'd done it on purpose; that he'd intended me to see . . . something. "How did that happen anyway?"

"How did what happen?"

"Really?" I asked, narrowing my eyes. "Katie, on her knees, with your . . .," I waved my hand in the air. "you know. Geez, don't make me say it."

A sly smirk crossed his face. "No, I really want you to say it."

I pursed my lips. He was challenging me and I sure as hell wasn't going to let him win.

"With your dick in her mouth. Jerk."

He snickered. "Well, you know. I'm smooth like that."

"Yeah, right. You're the biggest dork I know, Edward Cullen."

"Fuck you!" he chuckled. I walked over to his bed, but then thought twice about sitting on it. I curled my upper lip and looked back at him. "We didn't do anything on there."

"I don't believe you."

Edward walked toward me with his arms out. "Bella, you are the only girl who has ever been on or in my bed. I promise." He went to pull me into a hug, but I pushed him back.

"Nuh uh. Go wash your hands."

"Oh, Come oooon," he whined. "I didn't touch her anywhere that would require hand washing. I kissed her, I groped her boob. Then she got down on her knees."

"Gross," I muttered, finally letting him wrap his arms around me.

"What was I supposed to do, say no?"

I just hummed before pushing him away again. I picked up my backpack and grabbed my history book, throwing it onto the bed before sprawling out, still a little weary. Edward joined me a minute later with a notebook and pen. After a few silent minutes of studying, I glanced over at Edward.

"I'm sorry I messed up your first blow job."

"It's fine. Whatever. You wanna make it up to me?" he asked, waggling his eyebrows.

I snorted and bumped his shoulder with mine. "You wish."

~TIL~

The end of the school year crept up on us really fast. We went to prom, took our finals, and cheered as Jake crossed the stage at graduation. Rose, my tough as nails best friend, cried. The realization that Jake was leaving to go to school at the University of Miami in a couple of months hit her harder than any of us expected.

"The girls there all have fake boobs and tans," she pouted as we walked to meet him.

"No they don't," I lied. "Besides, whatever happened to not loving him in a '_I want to spend the rest of my life with him_' way?"

"Shut up. I don't. That doesn't mean I can't miss him."

"Mmmhmm."

"Bitch," Rose growled, making both Edward and me laugh.

Later that day, Edward and I were sitting in the grass in my backyard picking up dandelions and throwing them at each other.

"Are you leaving me again this summer?"

"No. My dad contracted Swan Construction to do the work on that office building in Port Angeles. It's a three month job so I'll be there the whole time."

"Really?" I asked, looking up at him.

"Really." He grinned.

I launched myself on top of him, wrapping my arms around his neck and forcing him onto his back. "Yay!"

"Bella," he grunted. I shifted unintentionally and felt him getting hard against my thigh.

"Sorry," I laughed, rolling off him, trying to ignore the picture in my head of what it was he was poking me with.

"Sure you are." He adjusted himself and sat back up, popping his cinnamon gum.

"So, you'll be here for your birthday?" Edward was turning eighteen in a matter of weeks. I wanted to throw him a big party, but didn't know if he would even be around. Now I could attack Esme and make plans.

"Yeah, I'll be here. Why?"

I shrugged and bit down on my lip. "No reason."

"You do realize that when you do that," he said, pointing to my mouth, "I don't believe a word you say."

I giggled. "I'm just glad you're staying."

"Yeah," he sighed, plucking the head off another dandelion and throwing it. It landed right over my heart. "Me, too."

~TIL~


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Here you go. I've taken a creative liberty in this chap. If you don't know what it is, don't worry about it, it's not a big deal. Just want to cover my butt in case someone wants to point it out. **

**Thank you to my pre-readers, Debi, Lexie, and Mel. Super Duper thank you to my beta jayhawkbb who went over this chap many, many times for me. **

**With my kids on Spring Break and a bunch of other things going on I didn't have a chance to respond to reviews, but I appreciate every one.**

** This story is not meant to be angsty, sad, or upsetting. This is about a friendship first and foremost. These are kids discovering themselves both individually and together. They don't know everything, they don't understand everything. And this is entirely in BPOV, so there are going to be unanswered questions. Please don't think too hard about them. **

Chapter 4: Five Years Ago: Senior Year

"Happy birthday to you."

Edward laughed.

"Happy birrrrrthday to you," I sang breathily.

"You need to stop."

"Happy birthday. . . Mr. . . Cullen."

Edward yanked me forward so that I fell, laughing, onto his lap. The night had been so much fun. Esme and Carlisle had rented a tent for their backyard and booked a DJ from Seattle. We invited almost one hundred people to celebrate Edward's eighteenth birthday. No alcohol, just good, old-fashioned, clean, teenage craziness. It was just after three in the morning and I was so tired that I was seeing double. Everyone had gone home and Edward's parents had long since gone to bed. It was just the two of us in the backyard. The moon was covered with clouds, leaving only the twinkling of the fairy lights to give us light.

"It's technically not my birthday anymore."

"Whatever. Statistics." I frowned. "Uh, wait. No, that's not right. What's the word?"

"Semantics?" he offered.

"Yeah. Thank you. Semantics. I'm tired." I laughed. "Did you have a good time?"

"Yes. Did you?" I grinned at my friend and nodded. "Good." He slipped his arms around my waist and hugged me tightly. "Thank you, Bella."

"It wasn't just me, ya know?"

"I know, but my parents have to do stuff like this for me. You don't."

"Oh!" I jumped up. "I forgot."

"Forgot what? Where are you going?"

Without answering him, I ran inside to Carlisle's office where I had stashed my purse and pulled out the card I'd bought. When I got back to Edward, I handed it to him.

"What's this?"

"What's it look like?" I scoffed playfully. "Open it."

I bounced up and down on the balls of my feet, excited. I watched as he flipped the card over in his hands. He felt the paper, smelled it, and looked at it closely. He glanced up and smirked. He was purposely taking his time.

"Stop teasing me!" I squealed, taking a swipe at him.

Edward chuckled and finally tore open the corner, sliding his finger across the top, ripping open the envelope and pulling the card out. When he opened it, two tickets fell out. He lifted them.

"Holy shit! Really?"

Edward had a secret love affair with indie punk music. I was one of the only people who knew it. His favorite band, Black Lust, was playing a concert in Port Angeles. It had taken me weeks to track down the tickets.

"But you hate them."

"But you love them," I said, shrugging.

He narrowed his eyes. "Are you gonna go with me?"

I smiled and nodded. I really didn't like them – they were loud and violent – but I loved Edward.

"Are you sure? I don't want you to feel like you _have_ to invite me."

"I don't." He looked back down at the tickets. I could see just how excited he was and it made me happy, the warm fuzzies taking over my head and my heart.

"I'm glad you like them," I said quietly. Edward stood up and wrapped his arms around my shoulders, drawing me into a bear hug.

"I love them, B. Thanks." A cool breeze blew over the backyard, making me shiver. "Are you staying here tonight?"

"Yeah," I said, yawning. "I told my parents I probably would. Is that okay?"

"No, you gotta go home," Edward teased. I pushed him away. He turned around and bent down. "Come on, I'll give you ride."

"Awesome," I said, jumping up onto his back. "I'm not sure I could make it _all_ the way inside again."

When we got to his room, Edward dumped me on his bed. He was eighteen, but his parents had made it clear that they still had rules. The door stayed open. We fell asleep within minutes, fully dressed and on top of the covers.

~TIL~

The concert wasn't as bad as I'd thought it would be. We had a good time, except that the guy at the front stamped our foreheads with gigantic "Under 21" stamps that glowed in the black lights. I felt like a complete tool. After the third hot guy looked at me and said "that's too bad," I found myself getting irritated "Are you that miserable?" Edward asked halfway through.

"No," I answered. "I just feel so stupid with _this_ on my head." I jabbed my finger towards the brand.

Edward laughed. "You're jailbait anyway, B. Come on, let's go mosh." He dragged me forward into a circle of jumping, pulsing bodies. By the time it was over, we were covered in sweat and my make-up was running down my face. Edward and I laughed all the way home.

When he pulled up in front of my house, I turned to face him.

"Thank you for taking me."

"Did you have fun? Even though you hate them?"

I smiled. "Yes, I had fun. They weren't as bad as I thought."

"Good."

"What are you doing tomorrow?"

"The guys are coming over to hang out. Wanna come?"

"No," I laughed, shaking my head.

"Fair enough. Go. You need a shower. You look like Robert Smith."

"Thanks a lot!" I laughed and leaned forward, rubbing my cheek against his. "Now you do, too." I opened the door of his car. "Have fun doing stupid boy stuff tomorrow!"

"Goodnight, Bella."

~TIL~

"Shhhh."

"What?"

"I said shut up!" Edward laughed. "You're gonna get us caught."

"There's nobody here." I wobbled on the beam I was crossing and felt Edward's large hand on my elbow, steadying me.

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. You're drunk."

"I'm not drunk. I'm just a little ti–ipsy," I hiccupped.

"Okay, but being ti–ipsy up here probably isn't smart."

"Probably?" I laughed, finally reaching the destination platform. Edward and I had been at a party in Port Angeles. On the way back, we passed by a house that looked like it was abandoned. It had an elaborate tree house in the back yard with crude bridges between various platforms. I begged him to pull over so we could explore. He protested at first, but relented after I broke out the batting eyelashes and pouty lip.

I sat down, dangling my feet over the edge. "Come sit." I slapped my hand on the wood. Edward lowered himself down next to me. The night was beautiful, the sky clear. I leaned my head back, looking up at the stars. "How many do you think there are?" I asked.

Edward popped his gum. "I don't know. The ones we can see, billions. The ones we can't. . ."

"Trillions?"

"More."

"What's higher than trillions?" I looked over at my best friend. He wasn't looking up. He was looking at me. He shrugged. "Is that something we'll learn in calculus?"

Edward snorted. "Doubt it."

"Science then," I deduced. I closed my eyes and felt my head swoon. Edward scooted closer to me. Trying to be a brat, I moved over, only to feel a sharp pain. "Ouch. I think I got a splinter in my butt."

"Want me to take a look?" He grinned and waggled his eyebrows.

"No," I giggled.

"Oh, come on, B. Let me see your ass." He poked his finger into my ribs.

They say hindsight is 20/20. Well, that's an understatement.

"Edward!" I squealed, leaning away from him. As I felt my body slipping from the platform, it felt like the alcohol was instantaneously flushed from my body and the sobering reality of what was about to happen hit me hard. I saw the amusement in Edward's face replaced by staggering fear.

I don't remember hitting the ground or the initial pain of my bones shattering. I don't remember Edward screaming my name as he tried to get to me without falling himself. I don't remember the blood seeping out from underneath me, the EMTs trying to stabilize me, or the ambulance screaming through town as it rushed me to the ER.

~TIL~

I watched from my hospital bed as my father and Carlisle tore into Edward in the hallway. They weren't yelling. They didn't need to. I could see his sheet-white face – the expression of pain and guilt.

"What the hell were you thinking?" I heard Carlisle ask.

"You're lucky you didn't kill her!" My father scolded. "Or yourself."

Edward looked down, nodding. "I know. I wasn't thinking."

"Obviously. Do you realize how much trouble you are in?" My father turned towards me, our gazes meeting briefly before he returned his focus to Edward. Their conversation continued in muted tones so that I couldn't hear anymore. I looked down at my casted right arm. I could still smell the fresh plaster.

I tried moving my leg, which was held together by screws, and failed. I couldn't feel anything below the waist because of the pain block. When I'd first woken up, I panicked, terrified that I'd broken my back and was paralyzed. The doctor assured me, however, that it was simply to keep me comfortable.

"I'm so sorry," Edward whispered. I glanced up, meeting his green eyes, bloodshot and apologetic.

"It's okay," I said softly, trying to smile.

He sat down on the edge of my bed. "No, it's not."

"I'm fine, Edward."

"You're broken," he said sadly.

"I'm not Humpty Dumpty. They put me back together."

"Not all of you." He ghosted his hand over the left side of my body, just below my ribcage

"I didn't need that spleen anyway," I teased. Edward didn't laugh. I covered his hand with mine. "It was my fault."

"I shouldn't have taken you up there. I was sober. I should have known better."

"I wanted to go. It was really cool . . . before I fell."

"I should have caught you."

"You're not gonna catch me every time I fall," I tried to soothe.

"I can try."

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Edward's nose wrinkled. "You need to brush your teeth."

"You need to get your nose out of my space," I laughed, wincing because it hurt.

Edward sat in the chair next to my hospital bed for the next two days. He slept there, he ate there, he watched TV there. Our mothers and fathers were in and out. Once my block wore off and my catheter was removed, the nurses helped me get to and from the bathroom. Edward offered, but I'd be damned if he was gonna stand there and watch me pee.

"You shouldn't put any weight on your leg for a month, Bella," the nurse warned as she prepared me to be discharged. I yawned, not taking my eyes off my mother, who was packing my stuff. "Use your crutches. Don't try to push yourself. Save that for your PT sessions."

"Don't throw those away!" I yelped as my mother lifted the bouquet of gardenias that Edward had bought for me out of their vase.

"They're half dead," my mom said, looking between me and the wilting flowers.

"Not fully dead. Put them back."

"I can get you more flowers," Edward whispered.

"I don't want any more flowers. I want those."

"They're gonna die in like a day, B."

I craned my neck around to glare at him. "And when they die, I'll throw them away. They're not dead. Please put them back." My voice cracked as I tried to hold back my unexplainable tears. Edward and my mom exchanged confused looks, but my mother put the bouquet back in the vase without any more questions. I never knew why I reacted that way. Maybe it was the drugs in my system. Maybe it was hormones. Maybe it was something else entirely, but even when those flowers died, I kept them. They hung upside down on my wall for years.

Edward pushed my wheelchair out of the hospital to my dad's waiting car. The two of them helped me into the back and Edward slid in beside me. I had to sit with my leg across his lap. I watched him as he tried to figure out where to put his hands. He finally settled on resting one hand on his own knee and the other on the back of the seat.

When we got to my house, I waited awkwardly as Edward and my dad tried to figure out how to get me out of the car. By the time they were done arguing about the best way, I'd painfully shimmied my way to the edge of the seat and stood up on my good leg, bracing myself against the car.

Edward rushed to my side and swooped me up into his arms.

"Ow," I protested.

"Sorry! Sorry! Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I sighed. "Just take me inside."

~TIL~

"Would you stop apologizing?"

"I can't."

"You're driving me crazy."

"You're driving me crazy, too," Rose grumbled. "It's not like you pushed her, Edward." She tilted her head. "Or did you?"

"I didn't push her," he scoffed.

"Right. So, shut the fuck up already," she said leaning back in her chair. Edward shoved her shoulder making her laugh. "Seriously, though, Eddie, stop groveling. It's not attractive in the slightest." Rose took a bite of her apple.

It had been six weeks since my fall. School was in full swing. My arm cast was off, but I still had a brace on my leg and had to use crutches.

"I have to get to practice," Rose said, tossing her core in the trash and standing up.

"Me, too," Edward added, looking at me with sad, puppy dog eyes. With my leg all busted up, I had to give up my spot on the cheerleading squad to Jessica Stanley. She wasn't very good, but our school wasn't big enough to be picky.

"She'll be good as new for basketball, loverboy," Rose assured. "See ya, sweetie." She hugged me and threw her bag over her shoulder, disappearing towards the locker room.

"I don't play basketball," Edward mumbled under his breath.

I leaned over and put my hand over his. "Go to practice. I'm going to the Homecoming Committee meeting. Come get me when you're done."

"You're my date, right?" he asked, helping me stand and handing me my crutches.

I frowned at him, my lips pursed. "Do you really have to ask that?"

"I just thought. . ."

I put my hand over his mouth. "Stop thinking. I'm fine. I may not be able to dance, but that just means we'll be on equal ground this year." I bit my lip to keep from laughing as his mouth dropped. "I'll see you in a couple hours."

I turned and felt a sharp sting to my butt.

"Brat."

~TIL~

"What happened to your leg?"

"Broke it."

"How?"

"I fell."

"Must have been some fall."

I looked up at the steely grey eyes studying me.

"I fell out of a tree house."

"Jesus. And all you did was break a leg?"

"No." I smiled and shook my head. "I ruptured my spleen, fractured two ribs, and broke my arm, too."

His eyes scanned over me. "You must be a good healer. You look good to me."

I felt my blood heat up and rush to my face. He was flirting with me. It had been a long time since anyone bothered. That's the problem with small towns. You run out of options pretty quickly because you've known everybody their whole lives. You know their bad habits and embarrassing stories. That's part of the reason I could never seriously consider dating Mike Newton. It's not that he wasn't cute. It's just I could remember when he used to pick his nose and eat his boogers. Um, yuck. Eric and Tyler still made their stupid boy comments, but they both had girlfriends and I wasn't interested in them anyway. Not enough brain cells. Edward would have made a great boyfriend, but I had to go and fall in love with him as my best friend. I didn't want to risk losing that. The new boy, Matt Dollinger, was cute with dark hair and freckles. His family had just moved to Forks from Canada because his dad was offered a job working as a manager at one of the lumber mills.

"Ms. Swan, Mr. Dollinger! Am I interrupting your conversation with my teaching?" our calculus teacher, Mr. Schroeder, called.

"No, sir," Matt answered politely. I shook my head.

"Wonderful. I'm so pleased." Mr. Schroeder turned back towards the whiteboard. Matt and I looked at each other and started snickering as quietly as possible.

When the bell rang, I put my book in my backpack and reached for my crutches.

"Let me help," Matt offered, taking my bag. "Where are you going?"

"Thanks," I said, looking up at him. "English. Mrs. Cope."

"Cool."

Matt followed me through the halls. I couldn't help but worry that he was looking at my ass. Normally, I would have been okay with it, but with my crutches, I was sure I was hobbling like a troll. Rose was waiting for me outside of class. Her eyebrow arched when she saw who I was with.

"This is me."

"Okay. Here you go." He handed over my bag.

"Thank you. What class do you have?"

"P.E."

I stared at him. P.E. was all the way back where we'd come from.

"You're a bad boy," I giggled.

He shrugged and smirked. "Sometimes. I'll see you later, Bella."

"Whoa," Rose gaped as he walked away. "New kid."

"His name's Matt."

"I know what his name is. He's still a new kid." She grabbed my bag and led the way into the classroom. "What was that all about?"

"I don't know." I answered, biting my lip as I sat down.

"Ha!" Rose snorted. "You need to work on your tells. No one's gonna believe you when you do that."

Edward suddenly flopped down next to us, startling me. "Who needs to believe what?" he asked.

"Nothing," I rushed out, glaring at Rose. She laughed and held out a hand for the piece of cinnamon gum Edward was offering.

"B?"

"No, thank you," I mumbled.

~TIL~

"Just tell Edward you want to go with Matt."

"I'm not gonna do that."

"Why?"

"Because."

She arched her eyebrow, waiting for some elaboration.

"Because I already told Edward I'd go with him."

"O-kay." She pursed her lips together.

I took a deep breath. "Because the last time I went to a dance with someone other than Edward, there was the expectation of sex. Or something. And I was only fifteen. Now I'm eighteen."

"So?"

"I'm not stupid, Rose. I know what people think. They think Edward and I are friends with benefits. They think I put out."

"Well, the way you guys act, what do you expect?"

"I don't care what they all think."

"Obviously, you do."

"No, I don't. But what if I go out with Matt and he expects me to? I'm not . . . I don't think I'm ready. When we were younger, it was okay; playing hard to get was part of the game. Now, it's foreplay."

"So you go with Edward because it's safe?"

"No!" I scoffed. "I go with Edward because he's one of my best friends and I have fun with him."

"And because it's safe."

I rolled my eyes.

"It's okay to admit, B. Honestly, I think he does the same thing."

"No, he doesn't. Guys are different."

"Yeah, they are. Good looking guys are expected to be sex gods by seventeen. You and I both know he's a virgin, but no one else does. Like you said, they think you two have been fucking like rabbits for the past two years. They don't talk about it around you for obvious reasons, but I've heard them. They're all jealous of you. Katie told them he has a monster dick and they all talk about how amazing it would be to have him; what he could do to them. That's a lot of pressure for a guy."

"I didn't think of it that way," I mumbled.

"I figured. That's what I'm here for." Rose grinned. "You two are both pretty clueless."

"Shut up."

She laughed. "So, what are you going to do?"

"I told Edward I was going with him. If Matt's worth it, he'll wait, right?"

~TIL~

"I guess I should have known," Matt said, smiling when I explained that I already had a date. "I didn't think you had a boyfriend."

"I don't. Edward's my best friend." I said. Matt looked at me skeptically. "Seriously," I insisted. "We've always gone to the dances together."

"Okay."

He didn't believe me. I knew he didn't, but what else could I say? He continued to flirt with me for the next two weeks. I flirted back. I had high hopes that maybe, after the dance, he'd ask me out. But when he showed up at Homecoming with Katie on his arm, my hopes faded. I couldn't compete with her and her . . . skills.

I wasn't the only one who noticed them. I caught Edward glancing in their direction more than once.

"Do you wish you were here with her?" I asked quietly as we swayed to the music.

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"If I'd wanted to ask her, I would have," he said flatly.

"She would have had sex with you."

Edward laughed. "I know. Just like she's had sex with Tyler, Eric and about a half a dozen other guys. You think that's all I care about?"

"Ewww."

"Exactly. Besides, I like going to the dances with you."

"Why?" I asked curiously, Rose's theory bouncing around in my head. Edward sighed.

"Because I can talk to you about important things. You're not just a pair of great tits and a good lay."

I looked down at my chest wondering if he'd just complimented me or insulted me.

"You know what I mean," he said. "Your, uh, your boobs are great and I'm sure you'd be . . ." He blushed a little, making me smile. "Nevermind."

"What? You're sure I'd be what, Edward?" I knew what he meant, but this was payback for making me say what I meant when I walked in on Katie giving him a blowjob. But Edward being Edward, shy one minute and cocky as all the hell the next, he wasn't about to let me win this one. He brought me in close, his lips brushing over the shell of my ear.

"I have no doubt in my mind," he started, taking a breath, "that you would be an unforgettable lover." The second the words were out of his mouth, he let me go, waving to someone behind me. I stood there for a minute, my mouth open, my mind kind of wonky.

It was the first time I realized just how complicated our relationship was. I'd known that we could turn each other on, but that's not difficult when you're a hormone-ridden teenager. Someone touches you the right way and things tingle and ache. It happens. This was different. I was suddenly afraid of what I felt.

"You okay?" Rose asked. "You look kind of pale."

I pushed away the emotions that I didn't understand and couldn't explain.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lied. "Wanna dance with me?"

~TIL~

"What are you doing?" I asked Edward as I entered his kitchen on a cold, rainy Saturday morning in November.

He looked up from his laptop and grinned at me. "Hey. Uh. . ." He pushed forward some papers as I sat down across from him.

"College?" I looked through the stack. "Are you applying to all of these?"

"Yeah. I thought I should increase my chances. Why? Where are you applying?"

I shrugged, frowning. "I don't know. I hadn't really thought about it."

"You should, B. Early consideration deadlines are coming up for a lot of schools." He said it so casually. With such nonchalance. "What?"

"Don't you care where I go?" I stuck my lower lip out and sniffled, disappointment apparent. Edward stared at me, his mouth open.

"Are you on your period or something?" he asked stupidly.

My disappointment turned to anger. "Fuck you!"

"What? What did I do?"

I stood up, limping my way back out the door, unwilling to admit that I was, in fact, on my period. It didn't matter. I would have been just as upset that he hadn't talked to me about college even if I wasn't. I was barely outside before his hand wrapped around my bicep and he pulled me back. My gimpy leg made me stumble.

"I'm sorry."

"Whatever," I grumbled, trying to pull my arm away.

"Come back inside. I'll make you pancakes."

"You can't cook."

"Okay. You can make me pancakes."

I tried not to laugh when I saw his goofy grin appear.

"You're stupid."

"I know. Come back inside with me."

I pretended like I was considering it. He knew me better than that. He grabbed my hand and pulled me back to the house. He abandoned his applications and sat at the island, watching me as I pulled the pancake mix from the pantry and heated the griddle.

"You really haven't even thought about college yet?" he asked cautiously.

"I've thought about it," I admitted, pouring the mix onto the griddle. "But. . ."

"But what?" he asked when I didn't continue.

"But I don't want to go to college without you." I didn't look at him as I said it. He was quiet, but I heard him stand. And it didn't surprise me when I felt his arms wrap around me, drawing me into a warm hug. His breath fanned across my neck, smelling of cinnamon as usual, and I felt his lips against the shell of my ear.

"I love you, too."

I sniffled and flipped the pancakes.

"Sit down with me and we'll figure out where we're gonna go, okay?"

"Okay."

I didn't care if he was simply making concessions for the sake of my feelings. In the end, I'd encourage him to go to the school he really wanted to go to regardless of whether or not I ended up there, too. But in that moment, I just wanted him to know how much I'd miss him.

I plated up the pancakes, slathered them in butter and syrup and set them down on the table. After a few bites, I looked up to see Edward smiling at me.

"What?"

"You're totally on your period."

~TIL~

Christmas Eve, Edward, Rose and I sat in my living room in front of a crackling fire. It was dark, the twinkle of the lights on the Christmas tree the only thing illuminating the room. Edward was rubbing my leg, focusing on the tiny scars where the pins had been. Although I'd been able to walk with just a slight limp for almost a month, it still ached when the temperatures dipped.

"When do you leave for your dad's?" I asked Rose.

"Tomorrow afternoon."

"You're flying out on Christmas Day?"

She shrugged. "It was the therapist's brilliant solution to my mom and dad fighting about who gets me on Christmas. Plus, tickets are cheaper. Whatever. It's not that big of a deal."

"I'm glad my parents aren't divorced," Edward said quietly.

"Yeah, well, your parents like each other. Mine don't. It's better now that they're divorced. Before, all they did was scream at each other."

Edward and I glanced at each other awkwardly. Rose sucked her teeth and took a deep breath.

"Speaking of, it's time for me to go. Four hours is enough for my mom and her boy toy to eat and fuck, isn't it?"

"Uh. . . I guess?" I answered, unsure what else I was supposed to say. Rose's forty year-old mother had been dating a twenty-five year-old logger for about six weeks. Rose pretended she was okay with it, but we knew it grossed her out. She leaned over, hugging me and planting a kiss on Edward's cheek.

"Be good, lovers," she said, standing up.

"Merry Christmas," Edward said.

"Call me when you get to your dad's."

"I will." Rose kissed her hand, waved and then left. Edward returned his attention to my leg.

"Has she seen Jake since he's been home?"

"Yeah. She said they had sex the other night, but it wasn't the same. She said she's over him."

"Is she?"

I shrugged.

"Probably a good thing. He was bragging at the bonfire that he already has two girls he's banging regular."

I scoffed. "God, he can be such a dick. Sometimes I'm embarrassed to even be related to him."

"If it makes you feel any better, I think he's full of shit."

"It doesn't matter! Just by spouting that crap, he makes her look like a fool."

Edward's hands slid upwards over my thigh and towards my hip. "Calm down, B. Everybody knows she's had Jake pussy whipped for years. Trust me, no one thinks Rose is a fool." He curled into my side and I ran my hands through his hair. The twinkling lights were mesmerizing. I probably could have fallen asleep like that if Edward's phone hadn't startled both of us. "Hi, Mom. Yeah. I know. I'll be home in about twenty minutes. I will. Love you, too."

"You have to go?" I asked, as he hit "e_nd call._"

"Yeah. My mom sends her love and says Merry Christmas." Edward stood up and held out his hand to help me up. He grabbed all his things and I walked him to the door, but just as he was about to open it, he stopped.

"What?" I asked, confused.

He pointed towards the ceiling. I glanced up. Mistletoe.

"When did you put that up there?" I laughed.

He shrugged. "Must have been Santa Claus."

"Sure it was." I lifted myself up on my toes and pressed my palm against his cheek. "Merry Christmas, Edward." Leaning in, I pressed my lips against his cheek softly and then backed away.

"Is that all I get?" he teased. I pursed my lips and nodded. "I guess I'll have to make do then." He opened the door and then turned around again. "Merry Christmas," he whispered.

"Merry Christmas, Edward."

~TIL~

Pulling into the parking lot of First Beach, I squinted my eyes at the group, making out Edward and Jake. I could see the bottles in their hands and when the light flickered in the right direction, I could see the smiles on their faces. When Edward had asked me to pick him up, I'd been a little put out that I hadn't been invited to the party, but looking around, I didn't see any girls either so that made me feel better.

I picked up my phone and texted Edward.

**I'm here. **

It took a minute, but I saw him reach for his back pocket, pulling out his phone and then glancing in my direction. A few more words, some loud whoops, and he was jogging in my direction.

"Thanks for picking me up," he said, sliding into my passenger's seat.

"No problem. What happened to your car?"

"Transmission went out."

"Oh. So, no girls at this shindig?"

Edward laughed. "Nope."

I nodded. "Are there ever any girls?" I didn't look at him as I asked, but I saw him turn his head towards me.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. I was just curious. Do you ever go out with other girls?"

Edward shrugged. "Not really interested in any of them. Why?"

"None of them?"

He shook his head.

"Are you gay?"

"What the fuck?" I glanced over at him. A horrified expression contorted his usually handsome face. "You think I'm gay?"

I shook my head. "No, not really. I mean, if you are, it's totally fine, but I . . . are you?"

"No!" he snapped. He looked back down, scowling. "Jesus Christ." He muttered a few more things, but I didn't hear what it was he was saying.

"I didn't really think you were gay, Edward," I placated. "I kinda figured after the Katie incident."

"Then why are we talking about this?"

"I was just curious," I said quietly. "Rose said there are a lot of girls who like you."

"Why don't _you_ ever date?" he challenged. "There are a lot of guys who like you, too."

"Because I'm scared of sex," I answered honestly. Edward's mouth dropped open.

"What are you scared of?" he asked.

I shrugged lightly. "I don't know. Getting pregnant. Getting a disease. Getting a reputation like Katie's." I let a minute pass and then, "Are _you_ afraid of sex?"

"No," he scoffed. "I just don't want to fuck some skank who's been with half my friends just to say I did. I'm waiting."

"For what? Marriage?"

"No. For someone more important." He tilted his head and smirked. "You want to volunteer?"

I snorted and shook my head.

"Didn't think so," he muttered, looking down at his hands. The tone of his voice caught my attention.

"It's not . . . I didn't mean it like that. It' just . . . that's not what we're like, Edward," I tried. "I mean, I love you, but you're my best friend. It would be weird."

He looked up and smiled. "I was kidding, B. Relax. You're right. It would be weird."

I pulled out of the parking lot and onto the road heading back home. "Yeah," I agreed again needlessly. "Weird."

~TIL~

"What do you think they do together?"

Rose snickered. "In real life or in the fantasies of dozens of teenage girls?"

I turned to look at her and frowned. We were perched on a picnic table watching a bunch of the guys, including Edward, laughing and being stupid. Once a week, after school, they all went out and did . . . something. It was like their little secret society.

Rose licked her lips and leaned in to me. "I bet they grease each other's poles on the regular."

"You are so fucking gross!" I squealed, pushing her away.

"They do guy shit, Bella. They talk about pussies and tits like they actually know what to do with them. Then they fart, burp, and throw things at each other."

I laughed loudly, causing the guys to look over at us. Rose and I waved and blew kisses, mocking the little groupies who constantly followed them around hoping to be the next conquest.

_Speaking of. _

A sophomore named Rita approached the group.

"Well, well, well," Rose said, leaning back onto her hands. "Playing with the upper classmen. Let's see how this works out."

She smiled up at the group of seniors who were all taller than she was. I'm sure they had a pretty good view of her cleavage because she wasn't making any effort to hide it. She said something to Edward, making him smirk. Then he nodded. The exchange went on for another few minutes, but I found something else to focus on. Like . . . the kids smoking across the parking lot just beyond campus limits.

"Dude, she's like a combination of you and me," Rose laughed. "Look at them drool."

Rita had left, returning to her envious posse, and the guys were watching her go. There were a few fist bumps and back slaps and I realized that whatever had just happened was entirely focused on Edward.

"What the fuck?" The screech of a jealous girlfriend filled the air as Jessica Stanley stormed towards them. Jared had about two seconds to brace himself before she was all over his ass.

"Ugh," Rose groaned. "Jealousy's so stupid."

I turned to face her and lifted my eyebrows. Even though she and Jake were officially broken up, Rose was having a hard time letting him go completely.

"What?" she snapped. "I mean publicly. She looks like a crazy, psycho bitch doing that. If I were a guy, I'd run the other way if some chick freaked out every time I looked at another girl."

I glanced back at the group. They were all climbing in their cars to go wherever they were going. Edward peeled out of the parking lot. I sighed and stood up.

"Wanna go get a coffee?" Rose asked as we made our way to her car. My phone chimed. I looked down.

**_I'll call U ltr _**

I smiled and shoved it into my purse. "Sure. Let's go."

~TIL~

"Are you going out with Rita?" I asked as Edward was driving me home a couple weeks later.

"Uh," he hesitated, not taking his eyes off the road. "I've hung out with her. Why?"

"Just curious. You know there are rumors."

He just nodded.

"I heard Katie tell Jess that you, um, that you. . . Did you?"

"I don't know what you're asking," Edward laughed.

"Did you get caught having sex in your car?"

"No! Jesus. Who said that?"

"Everybody."

We stopped at the corner and Edward finally looked at me. "Did you have sex with Matt?"

I scoffed. "I spent, like, two seconds with Matt."

"But there were still rumors. I heard them."

"I didn't do anything with Matt. You know that. I told you I was scared of sex."

"And I told you I was waiting for someone important." He started driving again, but we didn't talk about it anymore.

The rumors went on for a few more weeks as Rita hung on him, but then suddenly it was Eric she was after.

"Teenage relationships," Rose said, shrugging when I asked if she'd heard anything. "You blink and they're over."

"Yeah," I sighed. "I guess."

~TIL~

"A big envelope is a good sign, right?"

"Open it."

"Was yours big?" I asked, fingering my sun necklace.

"Mine's very big, B, but that's beside the point."

I looked up from the envelope in my hand to see his half goofy, slightly sexy smile had made an appearance. Leave it to Edward to make me laugh when I was about to shit myself.

"Just open it."

I tore open the corner of the envelope and slid my finger across the top slowly.

"Any day now," Edward groaned.

"Shut up! I'm scared."

"Seriously? What's the worst that can happen?"

"I don't get in. That's what could happen. You'll go to Seattle and leave me here in BFW all by myself. I'll have to get a job working at the diner, marry Mike Newton, pop out a half a dozen of his booger-eating kids, and end up having to prop my sagging boobs up in the child seat of the Thriftway shopping carts like Mrs. Cope."

"BFW?"

"Bum fuck Washington."

"Open the fucking envelope, Bella," Edward demanded, laughing. I did as I was told and pulled out the papers. I read. And read. And read again. "Should I break it to Mike that you're not going to pop out his kids or do you want to do it?"

I propelled myself forward, wrapping my arms around Edward's neck and planting a kiss right on his mouth. It wasn't for very long, but it was enough to cause an awkward moment.

"I'm sorry," I said sheepishly. "I'm just excited."

"It's okay," he answered, smiling. "You're happy. I'm happy for you."

I pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. I'd never before apologized for getting too affectionate. That was just part of our relationship . . . wasn't it?

"Uh. . . Hi, kids."

We both turned our heads to see my mom standing in the doorway. Jumping up, I ran over to her, waving the papers in her face and talking so fast I probably made her hair blow back. She hugged me and teared up before congratulating Edward and kissing his cheek. She looked back and forth between us, holding our hands.

"Let's go out for dinner," she said happily. "Edward, I'll call your mother. Let's go celebrate." She left the room – left us standing there. Edward put his arms over my shoulders.

"You heard her," he said, winking at me. "Let's go celebrate."

~TIL~

Senior prom is supposed to be one of those epic nights in your young life that you remember forever. I guess maybe mine was, but not in the way I'd ever thought it would be. I came down with a horrible case of strep throat and a fever of a hundred and two.

"Just go anyway," I rasped over the phone.

"By myself?"

"I'm sure you wouldn't be by yourself for long, Edward," I teased weakly.

"Shut up. I'm not going."

"You rented a tux."

"So?"

"I feel guilty."

"Why?"

"Because I know it cost a lot of money. Don't make me feel guilty, Edward. Please?" I begged.

"Fine."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I'll go."

"Thank you. Have fun." I hung up and buried myself into my pillow.

Six hours later, as I sat in my bed, feeling like crap and looking even worse, my doorbell rang. I didn't think much about it. I was so tired and so miserable that it barely even registered.

Until my bedroom door opened.

Standing in a full tux, holding a corsage in one hand and a Styrofoam bowl in the other, was my best friend.

"What are you doing?" I cried.

He shrugged. "If my date can't go to prom, I'll bring prom to my date."

My mom and dad stood behind him, smiles on their faces.

"But I look like crap," I sniffled. Edward walked over to me and kissed the top of my head.

"You don't smell so great either, but I'm not worried about that. Here." He set the bowl down on the nightstand and reached for my hand, sliding the beautiful gardenia over my wrist.

"At least let me take a shower," I whined.

"Edward, why don't we go heat up that soup and let Bella have a moment," my mom offered. He looked at me and I gave him my best pouty face.

"Fine. Hurry up, though. We're gonna be late." He winked and hopped up, joining my mother.

"You are such a sweet guy," I heard my mom coo.

I did my best to look . . . not sick. I washed my hair and brushed my teeth. I put on a little foundation, but couldn't be bothered with much more. I put on a bra and clean underwear, but after several long minutes of staring at my fitted prom dress, I couldn't bring myself to put it on. Instead, I slipped on a long, soft cotton nightgown my mom had bought me, put the corsage on my wrist and got back into bed.

"You decent?" Edward asked, knocking on my door a few minutes later.

"As I'm gonna get," I said, pushing a strand of still-wet hair behind my ear. He opened the door and grinned at me. Walking forward, he presented me a bowl of soup on a silver platter.

"_Bon appétit, ma cherie. Je t'aime beaucoup_."

"I got the first part," I laughed.

"Your dinner is served."

"What about you?"

"Mine's still heating up. I'll go get it in a minute."

"You have to go get your own food? The service in this place is horrible."

"Smartass. At least you smell better."

"Gee, thanks," I laughed.

After we ate, Edward pulled out his iPod, set it in my dock and hit play.

"I know you're tired, but you have to dance with me just once to make this our official, unofficial prom."

It was true. I was exhausted and felt horrible, but he looked so cute holding out his hand. I took it and let him hold me as we danced to Lifehouse's '_You and Me._'

"Seriously, Edward. You didn't have to do this," I whispered as the music began to wind down.

"I know," he said, hugging me tightly. "But what would senior prom be without my best friend?"

A week later, Edward came down with strep throat.

~TIL~

Graduation night. Big party at the Crowley Cabin, which sat on six acres of land. Most of the kids coming were camping out on the property, but I managed to score one of the three bedrooms. I think Tyler still had a crush on me, despite the fact that he'd been dating Lauren for the last ten months.

In the tradition of graduating seniors everywhere, the music blared, the booze flowed, and pretty much everyone was hoping to get laid. Rose had brought some meathead from Port Angeles High School whose hands were all over her. Her passive-aggressive attempt to make Jake pay for . . . for just being Jake, I guess. She knew some of the photos would make it onto Facebook. He'd see them, get mad, call her and bitch her out about something completely unrelated, and then eventually he'd tell her he still loved her. It was their stupid game. They both knew they would never work, but neither one was willing to admit it.

I sat on Edward's lap, drinking a bottle of Corona as we belted out a painfully awful rendition of _Hotel California_. At around four in the morning, we stumbled our way over passed out bodies to the bedroom and closed out the rest of the world. Edward managed to get his boots and shirt off before falling face first onto the bed.

"Shit, I'm wasted," he groaned.

I stripped down to the bikini I was wearing under my clothes and laid down next to him. He rolled over, staring at me for a second before leaning down and sucking my lower lip into his mouth. I was so drunk, I didn't realize where we were headed. But within seconds, our tongues were entwined, pushing and pulling against one another. It felt so, so good. Until it was too much.

"Stop, stop, stop!" I whimpered, pushing at his chest. He flopped backwards.

"Yeah," he breathed. "Probably a good idea. Sorry."

I laughed. "We're so fucking drunk." Propping myself up on my elbow, I grinned at him. "Can you believe we actually graduated?"

"No, not really," he slurred. "Shit, why are your feet so cold?"

"Cold feet, warm. . . uh, I can't remember." I giggled and stuck my toes between his calves.

"Stooop," Edward whined. "B, you're killing me."

"I'm sorry. I'll be good."

Edward wrapped his arm around me. I could smell the alcohol on his breath, seeping out of his pores. Or maybe that was me.

"I love you so much, B," he mumbled.

"Me, too," I think I replied. But he didn't hear me. He was already snoring.

~TIL~

My dad stole Edward away for a huge chunk of the summer. They were working on a project in Spokane that Carlisle had arranged.

It was okay, though. Knowing that Rose was leaving to go to California for school, I wanted to spend as much time as I could with her. We had a lot of sleepovers where we did each other's nails and watched chick flicks. We even did an overnight shopping excursion to Seattle, staying in a swanky hotel and having a spa day.

"Is Edward going to be back before I have to go?" she asked as we sat in my backyard, drinking Diet Coke and eating chocolate-covered popcorn.

"I think so. He said he would."

"I hope so. I'm going to miss my sexy stranger." She waggled her eyebrows at me, making me laugh. "Seriously though, what am I gonna do without you guys?"

"You don't have to go."

Rose had been accepted to UCLA. She was accepted to four other schools, too, including UW, but her dad had begged her to give California a try.

"I know. And if I really don't like it, I'll come back, B. I know he can be a total dick, but he's my dad."

"I get it," I sighed. "I'll miss you, though."

"I'll be back for Christmas. I'll bring you back some sexy California lingerie. Maybe by then you can put it to good use."

I shook my head and rolled my eyes. "Is California lingerie any different than Washington lingerie?"

"Yeah. They've got, like, porn stars and shit."

I busted out laughing, spitting soda from my mouth and nose. "Oh, my God. I love you, you crazy bitch."

She flipped her hair behind her. "I know you do."

~TIL~

Just as Edward had promised, he was home before most of our friends left for school. There was a big music festival in Port Townsend and we'd agreed to meet up with most of the senior class there as an end of summer thing.

"What is _that_?" I gaped as he pulled up in front of my house in a huge, shiny, brand new, Ford extended cab.

"My graduation present," he answered, running his hand over the sleek, black paint. "Pretty, isn't she?"

"Oh, my God. It's gorgeous. From who? Your parents?"

"Yep." He grinned. "You want a ride?"

"Um, yeah." I ran towards the truck, but at the last minute diverted and jumped into his arms.

"I was beginning to think you weren't gonna do that," he mumbled into my hair.

"I'm glad you're home."

"Me, too," he said, setting me back down on the ground. "Are you ready?"

I nodded happily. "Yeah. Let's go."

~TIL~

**AN: Just going to repeat this for people who don't like to read the top. LOL. **

**This story is not meant to be angsty, sad, or upsetting. This is about a friendship first and foremost. These are kids discovering themselves both individually and together. They don't know everything, they don't understand everything. And this is entirely in BPOV, so there are going to be unanswered questions. Please don't think too hard about them.**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Sorry this took so long. This has been a chapter that no matter how hard I try, I'm not sure I'll ever feel 100% about it. But it is what it is. **

**I know I'm not around as much anymore. RL is kicking my ass. I am trying, though. I know how much time it takes to invest yourself in a story and I really, really appreciate it. Thank you. **

**Thank you so much to jayhawkbb and Debi for being so honest and for challenging me to always be better. Thank you to Lexie and Mel for pre-reading and for your support. I miss you guys. :o( All mistakes are mine.**

**Here we go. Are you ready? ;o)**

Chapter 5: Four Years Ago: College year 1

"Ugh, you're so far away," I groaned.

"I'm not that far away."

I lifted my eyebrows in disbelief. Edward was in Hansee Hall; I was in McMahon.

"You're on the other side of campus!"

"Stop being so melodramatic. It's like a five minute walk."

"Twenty minutes."

Edward popped his stupid cinnamon gum." Only if you're limping."

I laughed unexpectedly. "Shut up. I don't limp that badly now. How come we couldn't get in the same hall?"

"Because _you_ wanted a single and the only ones available to freshman were in McMahon."

"Stop being so logical."

Edward wrapped his arms around my shoulders just as both sets of parents pulled into the parking lot beside us.

"What's the matter?" my dad asked as he jumped out of his truck.

"Edward's being logical," I muttered.

My dad laughed. "As he does. Let's get you unloaded, and then we'll head over to Hansee. Sound good?"

"No."

"Come on, B." Edward leaned in. "The sooner we do this, the sooner we can go celebrate," he whispered.

~TIL~

"I'm going to give you a pass this time because it's the first night. But I'm holding on to these."

Edward and I stared at the guy in front of us, dressed in a suit, his bald head shining in the harsh lights of his office. We'd tried to get into a club using our brand spanking new fake IDs. They didn't work, primarily because the owner, Eleazar, happened to be standing at the door when we got there. And he knew Carlisle.

"Are you going to tell my dad?" Edward asked sheepishly.

"No." Eleazar shook his head. "But if I see you in my place again before your twenty-first birthday, I'm going to call him to come pick you up. I'm pretty sure that driving for four hours at one a.m. is not going to make him happy. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir," we mumbled.

"Good. Now get outta here."

We were marched out through snickering upperclassmen and kids with fakes who hadn't been caught.

"That sucked," Edward sighed. "What are we going to do now?"

"Let's go back to your room."

"What about yours?"

"Uh," I hesitated. I'd thought having a single would be awesome. And it was during the day. After dark was a different story. Every night, the girl next door to me had a guy over. I didn't know if it was the same guy or not, but they were always loud. Really. Freaking. Loud. Edward thought it was hysterical. Me, not so much. Edward's room was much more desirable. His roommate, Jasper, usually stayed at his girlfriend, Alice's, place. She was a sophomore and lived off-campus.

Edward laughed. "I'm kidding. My room. I just wanted to see your face."

"Jerk." I punched him in the shoulder, making him laugh harder.

"I have a surprise for you," he said when we got to his empty dorm room.

"What is it?"

He rummaged around in his duffle bag and pulled out a bottle of Jack Daniels. "Provisions."

"Yaaay!" I cheered. "You're my hero."

"I know." He tossed me a t-shirt and a pair of his boxers and we sat, watching a movie and drinking Jack and Coke until we fell asleep wrapped around each other in his bed.

When we woke up in the morning, no one scolded us for spending an unsupervised night together or for being hungover. No one looked twice at us for dragging our tired asses to the dining hall in dirty clothes and stinking of booze. I knew right then and there . . . college was going to be awesome.

~TIL~

The first few weeks of classes were more about getting used to the routine than anything else. The hardest part was getting up for my nine a.m. classes when I'd been out late the night before. I crashed in Edward's room a lot. I liked it there. And it smelled like him – which was comforting.

Jasper seemed nice and said he didn't care if I was there. He really didn't spend much time in their room. It was more like a stopping point for him throughout the day

What was new for both of us was the sheer number of really good-looking people there were on campus at any given time. Wherever there was an open space, there were shirtless guys playing Frisbee and girls laying out in bikinis, soaking up as much of the late summer sun as they could before fall took over.

I was guilty of staring, especially when I spotted this guy, Marcus Aims from my Psych class, playing football in nothing but a pair of cargo shorts. He was from California. His skin was tanned, his muscles taut. I'd admired him from afar since I'd first seen him, but so had every other girl around. I was pretty sure I didn't stand a chance. I tried to keep my ogling of the people around us discrete. Edward, however, did not. When I couldn't get his attention away from a girl with gigantic boobs wearing an itty bitty bikini top that barely covered her nipples, I reached over and grabbed his phone.

"What are you doing?" he asked, startling.

"Taking a picture," I said loudly. "It'll last longer."

"Shit, B. Knock it off," he grumbled, reaching for his phone.

"It's not going to spontaneously combust and leave her naked, if that's what you're waiting for."

"Fuck you," he laughed. "Why don't you wear shit like that?"

"Because A, we're in the middle of the UW campus, not the beach. It's seventy, not ninety. It's barely warm enough for a tank top. And B, my boobs aren't that big, so even if I wear something like that, I'm not gonna look like her."

"Your boobs are fine."

"Is that all you got out of that conversation?" I snarked.

"Yes," he answered. "All I heard was 'blah blah blah _boobs_, blah blah blah _boobs_."

I smacked him on the shoulder and stood up.

"No, don't leave," he pleaded, amused.

"Why?"

"Because I'm not done staring at her and I don't want to look like a perv out here all by myself." The grin plastered on his face told me he was fucking with me.

"I gotta go," I said, shaking my head. "But text me if her top does manage to fall off. I'd like to know what size implants to get."

He snorted as I walked away.

~TIL~

A few days later, fall arrived with a vengeance and a frigid rain storm. I packed up my bag after class, wrapped myself tightly inside my coat, and ran to the library to meet a group of girls I was working with on a project. We were just getting started when a text from Edward lit up my phone.

**_Where RU?_**

**_Library. Y?_**

I didn't get a response. I shook my head and went back to the group, who were discussing options for the presentation aspect.

Ten minutes later, in the middle of a conversation, everything suddenly went quiet. I looked up to see all four other girls staring at something behind me. I turned my head and smiled. Edward was standing there, his hands in his pockets.

"Hi," he said, reverting into the sweet, shy boy I rarely saw anymore.

"Hi! What are you doing here?"

"I didn't realize you were busy." He rocked back on his heels.

"Yeah. We have a project due on Friday." I turned back around and laughed at the faces of my group mates. "Edward, this is Jeanne, Amanda, Carmen, and Jane. Girls, this is Edward.

"Hi," he said, turning on the charm. "If I'd known Bella was gonna have such beautiful classmates, I would have tried to get into some of her classes." I pursed my lips and rolled my eyes. He was so full of shit. The girls giggled. After a few minutes of flirting, I'd had enough.

"Do you need something?" I asked, laughing lightly.

"Call me when you're done." He lifted his hand to wave at the girls, and then winked at me before leaving.

"Is that your boyfriend?" Amanda asked.

"No," I answered, watching him go. "That's my best friend."

"Geez, he's gorgeous," Jeanne said, fanning herself.

"Is he an ex?"

I shook my head. "Nope."

"Is he gay?" Jane questioned. "He is, isn't he? Seems like only gay men are that hot these days."

"No!" I laughed. "He's straight."

"And you've never fucked him?" Carmen asked. Her bluntness took me off guard and I frowned.

"Uh, no."

"Why not?"

I shifted in my seat, starting to get uncomfortable. "We just . . ." I bit my lip.

"You don't have to answer that," Amanda scoffed.

"It's okay." I shrugged. "Um, I wouldn't . . . because I'd be afraid it would mess things up."

Carmen snorted. "I bet it would so be worth it."

The conversation halted at that point and we focused back on our project. Maybe I should have known then what was coming, but I honestly didn't think too hard about it. It wasn't until Carmen started showing up at parties that Edward and I went to that I realized what was going on. She'd bump into and flirt with him. He'd flirt back.

"I was thinking about asking Carmen if she wanted to come to the Halloween party with us," he mentioned as he helped me put up orange fairy lights in my window.

I stopped what I was doing and looked at him. "Carmen? As in the girl in my Women's Lit class?"

"Yeah." He shrugged. "I've had coffee with her a few times."

"A few times? When?"

"Yeah. She's really nice."

I frowned. Nice wasn't exactly the word I'd use for her. She was one of those people who was good at convincing others she was nice, but if you looked into her eyes long enough, you could see right through her. She was shallow and superficial. Obviously, Edward wasn't looking in the right places. I opened up my mouth to tell him that, but it got stuck in my throat.

"Um . . . what am I supposed to say?" I asked instead.

"I don't know. You and I were going to go together. I didn't want to invite her without asking you first."

I tilted my head. Edward looked hopeful. I considered my answer carefully. A lot of people thought Rose was a gigantic bitch because of her unapologetically blunt personality. They got their first impressions and never even tried to look deeper. Maybe Carmen was the same. Maybe Edward saw a side to her that I didn't. The whole situation felt so much more awkward than it should have.

"Why is this weird? Yeah, sure. She can come. That's fine with me. Whatever."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded. "Yeah. It'll be fun." Edward was looking at me funny. I smiled at him. It wasn't necessarily a genuine smile; it was an uncomfortable smile, but it was still a smile. I finished putting up the lights, and then collapsed onto my bed. "How's that look?"

"Fucking fantastic."

~TIL~

Our first Halloween night in Seattle was crazy. Jasper had invited Edward and me to Alice's place for a '70s themed party. I thought I was looking pretty good in a short, paisley dress and white knee boots, but then Carmen arrived. Suddenly, I felt very matronly. She wore a really sequined skirt that I'm pretty sure would show her coochie if she bent over and a crop top that tied right in front of her boobs. Edward's tongue nearly hit the floor when he opened the door. I tried to ignore the lump that was forming in my throat. She was definitely looking to get some.

"Aren't you going to be cold?" I asked.

She lifted up a long, fake, fur coat that was draped across her arm. "Nope. I always come prepared." She winked at Edward, who was still staring at her like she was from another planet. Double entendre much?

I instantly realized that this would not be like our normal nights out. Carmen hung on Edward all night. For the first time in our friendship, I felt like the third wheel. I know he didn't mean to make me feel like that, Carmen was just extremely persuasive. At least her hands and her tongue were. I spent most of the night talking to Jasper and Alice and a few of their friends.

"You guys aren't . . .?" Jasper glanced over to where Edward and Carmen were.

I shook my head. "Nope. We're just friends."

"Huh. I could have sworn you guys were together."

I laughed and slammed back a jello shot. "We get that a lot." I looked over at them. "Although probably won't so much anymore," I added under my breath.

Just after midnight, I was ready to go. I spotted Edward in the kitchen, sans Carmen, and walked towards him.

"I'm gonna head home," I said, yawning.

"Already?" He glanced at his watch. "It's early. You okay?"

"I'm fine. Just tired."

"Okay. Um, I'll walk you."

"No," I protested. "I'll be okay. It's not that far."

"Bella."

"There you are," Carmen slurred, stumbling into his arms. While he was busy dealing with her, I slipped away. Luckily, there were a couple of other girls heading in the same direction so I didn't have to walk alone. My phone buzzed in my pocket, but I ignored it. I made it back to my empty dorm room just in time to hear my neighbor reach her peak – the first one.

"Wonderful," I groaned. Crawling into bed, I covered my head with my pillow. It did little to mute the continuing sounds. Out of nowhere, an image of Edward and Carmen popped into my head. They were the ones making those noises, their bodies naked and sweaty. I shook my head, trying desperately to make it go away. Edward wouldn't sleep with her just yet. He was a virgin. He barely knew her. He wanted his first time to be with someone special.

I was nearly sobbing when everything finally quieted. If I'd let myself think about the reason behind my tears, I would have realized why it hurt so much. I would have seen the signs. But I didn't let myself think about it. I ignored it. I justified it with hormones and exhaustion. Yeah. That was it. No big deal.

~TIL~

The next morning, after a night full of crazy ass dreams involving wolves and vampires, I'd nearly forgotten about the images that had bothered me so much. After showering and getting dressed, I called Edward to see if he was up for coffee.

"Yeah, sure," he answered, sounding tired.

"You in your room?" I asked hesitantly.

"Yeah."

"Good. I'll be there in about ten." I ended the call and bundled up, practically running to Edward's dorm. He met me in the lobby. I wrapped my arm through his and leaned into him as we walked towards the student center. He was oddly quiet.

"What's the matter with you?" I asked, bumping his shoulder playfully. "You're being weird."

"Uh. . ." The barista handed us our coffees and we found seats by the window.

"Everything okay?" I asked, sitting down.

"Everything's fine."

"Really?" I hedged. "You sure?"

He nodded, but the look on his face did nothing to convince me. I sipped my coffee, waiting for him to say something.

"Last night was fun," I offered. "That was nice of Jasper and Alice to invite us."

"I had sex with Carmen," he said, almost under his breath.

I choked, spitting coffee out of my nose. It burned. "You did what?"

He looked at me anxiously. "Shit. I didn't mean to. . . We were pretty drunk . . . uh. . . it just happened."

My mouth went very dry. I knew it would happen eventually, but it was still like he'd just hit me in the head with a two-by-four. My legs started to shake beneath the table. My heart sped up. And, although I'd never admit it to anyone else, broke a little.

"Um, wow," I said, at a loss for any other words. After a few more minutes of awkward silence, I took another drink of my coffee. "Whatever happened to waiting for someone special?" It came out bitchier than I expected and I internally cringed when I saw his irritated expression.

"I never said she wasn't special," he bit.

I looked down at my fingernails. "I . . . okay. Sorry. I didn't realize." I tried to figure out what to say. I was his friend. What would Tyler say? Or Eric? "How was it?" I instantly wanted to slam my head against the table for asking such a stupid question. I _really_ didn't want to know how it was.

He shrugged.

"Not so good?"

"I didn't say that," he answered. "It was okay."

I took a deep breath through my nose, afraid that if I opened my mouth again, another stupid question would come out. I looked around, trying to find something to focus on until I could straighten my thoughts out. Eventually, though, I was too uncomfortable to sit there any longer. "I should probably get back. I have a bunch of studying to get done."

"Bella." Edward reached for my hand. I smiled, but pulled my hand away gently and stood up.

"Congratulations." I wasn't really mad and I didn't want him to think that I was. I just didn't know what else to say. I'd never considered how that moment would feel – I certainly didn't expect to have the reaction I did.

"B."

"I'll see you later."

I could hear him growling behind me and kept walking. We'd always just been Edward and Bella – best friends with a little extra sexual tension in our relationship. That's how everyone knew us. That's how we knew each other. I wasn't ready for that to change. I wasn't ready for him to be Edward without Bella. Or worse, Edward with someone else entirely

I didn't see him again for several days. I didn't want to know what he was doing. Or who. I skipped the Women's Lit class I shared with Carmen. I was afraid she'd seek me out to tell me the details. She was definitely the kind to kiss and tell. Luckily, our classmate Amanda lived in my dorm and I was able to copy her notes for class. As we were sitting in the dorm's laundry room waiting for our loads to dry, I spilled my guts to her. I told her about how Edward and I met and about our friendship over the years. I explained the underlying sexual vibe that had always been there. I tried to explain how I felt about him, but the words didn't seem to convey the emotion. Nothing I said seemed to make any sense.

"Why don't you guys just date?" she asked.

"Because he's my best friend." I answered softly.

"You've said that half a dozen times in the last hour. Who are you trying to convince?"

"No one. He is."

"Okay. So what? Isn't that supposed to be the best kind of romance?"

I shrugged and scraped my teeth over my bottom lip.

"I don't get it," Amanda sighed. "I've seen you guys together. What's the problem?"

"Okay, say we did decide to go out," I finally acquiesced. "Say we ended up having sex. We're nineteen years old. Statistics for the survival of a serious relationship at this age are not good. I don't think we could ever go back to being just friends if it didn't work out. Especially if he was my first."

"So make sure he's not your first." She laughed and bumped my shoulder when I glared at her. "I'm just kidding. You've thought entirely too much about this."

"Well, it's true. And I don't want to lose him just to satisfy my," I paused. "My _theoretical_ curiosity about what it might feel like to have his . . ."

A throat cleared and we turned to see a guy emptying his laundry bag into a washer. Amanda's eyes widened and we both started giggling.

"Maybe someday, though, right?"

"No," I sighed. "Probably not."

~TIL~

"Isabella Marie Swan! If you don't open this door, I'm gonna fucking break it down. Stop avoiding me."

I pulled open the door to my room with force. "You're gonna what?" I snapped. He didn't wait for me to invite him into my room. He just pushed his way in. I stood my ground at the door.

"What the fuck?" he growled.

"Did you need something?"

"Stop being a smartass and shut the door."

I put my hands on my hips and stuck my lower lip out. Edward stormed towards me. I backed up against the wall and winced as he slammed the door.

"Cut that shit out! That's never worked with me and it's not going to now."

"Screw you!" I snapped.

"What's your fucking problem? I don't get it."

"I don't have a problem!" I shouted.

"Bullshit. I tell you I. . ." he lowered his voice. "I tell you I had sex with Carmen and you bolt like your ass is on fire. Then you don't talk to me for almost a week."

"I didn't do it on purpose," I lied. He stared at me. I shifted my weight under his scrutiny.

"Why won't you tell me what's wrong?" he begged. I couldn't look at him and not give in. "Talk to me. Why are you so mad at me?"

"I'm not."

"Then why haven't you been answering my calls or texts?"

"I was busy. I had a test this morning."

"Carmen said you didn't go to class yesterday."

"You're having your girlfriend spy on me now?" I asked incredulously.

I watched his jaw lock and his eyes narrow. "You're mad at me because I slept with her."

I folded my arms across my chest in defiance. "I'm not."

"Why the hell would you even care, Bella? Are you jealous?"

"No."

He didn't believe me, but his angry gaze softened and he reached out for me.

"Don't," I whimpered.

"She knows you're my best friend, B."

"Of course she does. I told her that after I introduced you."

"I explained about us." He grabbed the fabric of my sweatshirt and yanked me towards him. "She said she didn't care."

"That's what she says now."

"Come on, Bella." He wrapped his arms around me and, finally, I gave in, burying my face into his chest. "I shouldn't have told you like that."

"It's fine."

"I just. . . wanted to tell someone and you're the only one I trust."

I felt my eyes well up with tears. He was my best friend. He trusted me and I wasn't there for him.

"I didn't mean to run away," I mumbled. "I was just taken off guard. I mean, it really shouldn't have been that big of a surprise. She was obviously into you."

Edward laughed. "Yeah."

"Did you tell her you were a virgin?"

"No," he snorted.

"Why not?"

"Because that's not something you tell a girl when you're getting ready to . . . whatever."

"You said you told her about us. What exactly did you say?"

"The truth," he answered, rubbing his hand up and down my back. "I told her you're my best friend and that I love you."

I smiled against his chest and squeezed him. "I'm sorry. I guess . . . maybe I am jealous. I'm not ready to lose you to somebody else."

"You won't," he insisted. "Nothing's gonna change."

I took a deep breath. "Good. As long as she makes you happy. But if she hurts you, I'm gonna kick her ass," I chuckled.

"Really?"

"Absolutely." I pulled back and looked up at him.

_Everything's going to change. _

~TIL~

As much as Edward tried to convince me that our friendship wouldn't suffer, it was inevitable. Carmen was with him all the time. She was the one sitting on his lap and drinking beer at parties. She was the one holding his hand as we waited in line to see Dave Matthews. She was the one he walked home with at the end of night.

I tried not to be jealous – not to be bitter, but it was harder than I'd expected. Edward had been mine for so long and now . . . he wasn't. It felt weird. It felt lonely. I stayed too late at his dorm room one night and Carmen showed up, acting like I was the other woman. She wasn't obvious about it at first, but when Edward went out to go to the bathroom, she stormed around touching his things, making nasty comments about me that cut to the bone. Then, when he returned, she stripped nearly naked, flaunting her perfect curves before slipping into one of his t-shirts.

I attempted to bring it up to Edward on a couple of occasions, but I didn't want to be the whiny, pathetic friend bitching about how his girlfriend was mean to me. The fact was, she wasn't mean to him. She was all sweetness and light; and she gave him what I couldn't. I just needed to deal with the emotions and get over it.

Rose and I talked daily, but she was too far away. It wasn't the same. I didn't really want to tell her what was happening. I started spending time with other people. Amanda introduced me to some of her friends from her hometown of Tacoma. They were funny and crazy. They took my mind off of the fact that I was losing my best friend – mostly.

Needless to say, I was immensely relieved when Christmas break came for a lot of reasons.

"Hey!" Edward said when I answered his call after my last class of the semester.

"Hi."

"So . . . what's the plan for going home?"

"Are you going home to Forks?"

The line was quiet for a second. "Yeah," he finally answered. "Why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know. I thought maybe . . . Nevermind. Um, Rose is coming in on Thursday, so I'm staying here to pick her up. Then we're heading home."

"Okay. That sounds good. I can drive us. That way we only have to take one car."

"Oh. Sure. Great." He didn't say anything else, but he didn't hang up either. "How's Carmen?"

"Good. She's leaving tomorrow morning."

"Her parents live in Anchorage, right?"

"Yeah."

"Huh. Okay. Well, I guess, um. Amanda and I are going Christmas shopping tomorrow, so do you want to just pick me up on Thursday? Rose's plane gets in at eleven. Then we can just head home."

"Sure."

I sighed. Is this what we'd been reduced to? We couldn't even have a conversation anymore?

"Okay. I'll be ready. See ya."

"Bye."

I hit end call on my phone and laid down on my bed.

On Thursday, Edward was at my door at ten. We loaded my bags into his truck and then drove to the airport. Once again, what little conversation there was, was forced. I was actually kind of mad. He'd promised this wouldn't happen. But it did. And he didn't seem to be trying to fix it.

"Whattuuuuup, bitches?" Rose yelled, running towards us at the luggage carousel. She threw her arms around my neck and hugged me. I grunted loudly. When she pulled away she tilted her head. "Damn, girl. When did you get so skinny? Are you sick?"

"Thanks," I grumbled. "I missed you, too."

She turned towards Edward and pulled him into a huge hug. "You make an honest woman outta her yet, loverboy?" she teased. Edward didn't laugh. He looked down at his feet. "Oh, shit. What happened?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked, forcing a chuckle. "Jesus, we're fine." I threaded my arm through hers and led her over to the carousel.

"We're talking about this later," she whispered.

~TIL~

"Tell me that all that awkwardness at the airport between the two of you means that you finally did the deed," Rose begged when we got to my place four hours later.

"Edward did."

"Yaaaay," she cheered before realizing what I'd said. "Wait. What do you mean? You mean he . . . but not you? What?"

I laughed, but there was an ache in my heart. "Edward has a girlfriend."

"Like a real one? Ohhhh, is it that Carmen girl you told me about?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

"They're serious? I talked to him like last week and he didn't mention a single fucking thing about her. And why wouldn't _you_ tell me it was more?"

"I don't know, Ro," I whined. "It wasn't something I wanted to talk about. Besides, it's none of my business."

"Everything Edward does is your business. You two are attached at the hip. If I'd ever had a doubt you two would end up married with a dozen kids I would have been offended that you love him more than you love me."

I gaped at my friend.

"So that's why you've been so mopey?"

"I'm not mopey!" I protested, knowing that, in fact, I'd been extremely mopey. Rose raised her eyebrows. "And I don't love him more than you. It's just . . . different."

She smirked. "You seem to be the only one who doesn't see that."

"Shut up," I groaned. She smiled at me and pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. Sometimes having Rose around was like having a big sister. Even though we were the same age, there was something about her that felt protective.

"I seriously always thought you two would pop each other's cherries. I mean, that's been in the cards for like the last three years. What happened?"

"Nothing happened. It's not like we could spend the rest of our lives as virgins." I stood up and walked over to my dresser, fiddling with the sun necklace around my neck and pretending there was something I was looking for.

"I'm sorry," she said softly. "I don't mean to make jokes. Do you want to talk about it?"

I shook my head.

"Is she at least cool?"

I shrugged. "I don't know her very well."

Rose laughed humorlessly. "She's a total bitch, isn't she?"

I shrugged. "She's . . . possessive. I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt because Edward seems to like her. He says she understands that we're really close, but I don't think she's okay with it. I think she's waiting for her chance to rip him out of my life." I sniffled and shook my head. "I'm probably overreacting. I just miss him."

Rose stuck out her lower lip in a sympathy pout. "Do I need to cut-a-bitch?"

"No," I snorted. "But thanks for offering." I flopped down beside her. "Let's gossip before your mom figures out we're home. How's school?"

"It suuuuuucks," she groaned. "I'm transferring."

"When?" I couldn't hide the excitement in my voice.

"January."

"Can you do that?"

"I put in the application in October, so yeah."

"Um, talk about not telling people things!" I scoffed.

"I wanted to make sure it was a done deal. I got the reply a few weeks ago and I wanted it to be a surprise."

I pursed my lips together. "Is California really that bad?"

"No, not Cali. My dad and his wicked witch."

"What's happening now?" I'd known that Rose's dad had a new girlfriend. She'd told me that before we'd even left for school, but all she'd told me since then was that she didn't like the woman.

"She wants a fucking baby!"

"Are you kidding?"

"No. She wanted to get all bondy with me and shared that piece of info. I told her she was too fucking selfish to have a kid and she got pissy and tattled on me. I got a huge lecture. I just can't stand her. My dad's a fucking idiot if he knocks her up."

"Wow."

"Whatever. I'm done with him. I'm coming hoooooome," she sang. I laughed.

We talked for another forty-five minutes before Rose's mom started blowing up her phone. She hugged me, told me everything would be okay now that she was back, and went home.

~TIL~

After a few days, and with the help of Ro being Ro, the wall that had developed between Edward and me started to crumble. It started with a smile as we watched our friend rebuff Tyler's desperate advances at the diner. Then it progressed to a laugh – or ten minutes of laughing – when Rose, annoyed at my anal overseeing of Christmas cookie making, blew a puff of flour at me, covering my face. Eventually, we managed to make it back to normal. Almost. The fact was that Edward and I had a new normal. We didn't talk about absolutely everything. We didn't do things like we used to. Putting our arms around each other was okay, kissing and grinding on each other was not. Unspoken rules – a line we couldn't cross.

A few times, we started to lapse into our easy, boundary-pushing relationship again. But Edward wasn't the type of guy to take any sort of commitment lightly, and I wasn't the kind of girl who played with what wasn't mine . . . anymore. That, and Carmen texted him about four thousand times a day. When she wasn't texting him, she was calling.

"Do you need a moment with your phone?" Rose asked snottily Christmas Eve afternoon as we were hanging out at Edward's house.

"No."

"She must really miss you. Or she doesn't trust you."

I elbowed Rose in the ribs.

"I'm just sayin'."

Edward flipped her off and glanced at me. I shrugged. I had nothing nice to say about Carmen, so I decided not to say anything at all.

~TIL~

When the semester started again in mid-January, Edward, Rose and I made our way to Seattle. Rose was able to snag a room in one of the quads at Stevens Court after someone dropped out. Edward and I offered to help her move in.

We weren't back in Seattle for five minutes before Carmen was texting Edward non-stop to go see her.

"Again? Really? Your chick has you on a short leash, doesn't she?" Rose quipped.

"No!" Edward snapped. "Fuck you."

"I'm just playing with you. Geez. You two are so sensitive these days."

Edward's phone started ringing. He rolled his eyes when Rose snickered.

"Do you need to go?" I asked. Edward looked at his phone again, texted something quickly and shoved his phone into his pocket.

"No. Let's go get Rose moved in."

~TIL~

I hadn't realized just how much I'd missed Rose's snarky ass. She was always good for a laugh. No one ever knew what to make of the gorgeous girl with the filthy mouth who could prove with one sentence that she was smarter than them all.

Edward attempted to hang out with us again, but it was always so awkward. I wasn't just overreacting when it came to Carmen. Rose coming around put her even more on edge. The problem was that she was an angel when Edward was around and I had no idea how to even approach the subject that she wasn't what she appeared.

"What a fucking bitch," Rose bit, watching Edward sulk away. He'd met us for lunch in the student center. He'd just gotten comfortable and unwrapped his burger when he received a phone call from his girlfriend requesting his assistance for something or other. He frowned, took in a deep breath and let it out slowly before packing everything up and apologizing. "No pussy is worth that." Rose grumbled. "You need to get some balls and tell him how she treats you."

"Yeah. That's not gonna happen."

"You want me to do it?"

"No," I responded, taking a bite of my sandwich.

"Ugh," she scoffed. "Seriously. Tell him to dump the cow. All you'd have to do is bat your eyes like dis," she said, imitating Sebastian from _The Little Mermaid_. "And then you gotta pucker up your lips, like dis."

I laughed and shook my head.

"I'm not asking him to break up with her. And you can't either."

"Why not?"

"Because."

Her eyebrow arched in question.

"Because he's happy. I want him to be happy." I took a huge gulp of Coke. "You should want him to be happy too."

"I do." She blew a heavy breath out. "But did he look happy to you?"

~TIL~

Over the next few weeks I spent almost all my time with Rose and Amanda. Rose's quad had more space and it was a popular hangout. My friend attracted a lot of male attention, but she wasn't the only one. Marcus, the guy from my Psych class that I'd had a crush on all year, started showing up on a regular basis. He was even cuter and funnier than I'd realized and I found myself extremely attracted to him. I remembered a part of myself that I'd apparently left behind when Edward and I started spending most of our time together. My inner flirt re-emerged. And there were a lot of guys to flirt with. We danced, we drank, we smoked a little bit of pot. It felt good to let go.

Edward joined us every now and then, but he was always accompanied by his girlfriend. I didn't bother talking to her anymore. I didn't even really talk to Edward. It wasn't worth the obvious show Carmen put on to make sure I knew he was hers. I had to hold Rose back from ripping out her throat on more than one occasion. She begged me to let her tell Edward what Carmen was like when he wasn't looking, but I was afraid that he wouldn't believe her – that he'd think I'd put her up to it; that I was jealous. I was afraid it would be the last straw and I'd lose him completely.

One night in late March, everyone was celebrating the beginning of Spring Break. Amanda and I had spent most of the night talking to and laughing with the guy she liked.

"Go!" I urged when he mentioned he was getting tired and asked if she wanted to go for a walk. "Get laid. Have fun," I whispered in her ear. She giggled and stood up.

"Are you sure?"

"Yep," I nodded. She took his hand and followed him out. Edward was sitting in the chair across from me. We hadn't spoken much, but I could tell from the look on his face that he wanted to talk to me. He opened his mouth, only to close it again when Carmen planted herself on his lap, straddling him. I tried not to watch as she started grinding against him.

"Come on, baby," she purred. "Let's go back to my room."

He leaned away from her and glanced at me, but she gripped his chin, forcing his attention back onto her and pressing her mouth against his. He stood up and grabbed her hand, pulling her towards the door. I'm not sure if it was their exuberant PDA or the fact that I was tired of being the only virgin in the room, but I came to the conclusion that I was ready to do more than just make out with a guy. I wanted to know what it felt like to need someone in such a carnal way. I wanted to know what it felt like to have someone so deep inside of me that it felt like we were one person. I wanted passion and adventure. I wanted all the things women get in those steamy romance novels.

"Hey, Bella," Marcus said, flopping down beside me. "You're a popular girl tonight. I thought I'd never get you alone." He winked and smiled.

"Well," I smirked. "You did. What are you going to do with me now?"

Marcus lowered his head and chuckled. "Ahhhh, so many ways I'd love to answer that."

For the next three hours, we talked and drank. When he kissed me, I didn't push him away. When his hand slipped under my shirt, I welcomed it. It was exactly what I'd been aching for. So when he asked me to take him back to my dorm room, I pushed away all the fear I had of taking that step, and lead the way.

~TIL~

I stared at the clock. Just after midnight. Was it too late? My phone was in my hand, his number on the screen. All I had to do was hit call. So I did.

"Hey," Edward answered, clearing his throat. "What's up? You okay?"

"No."

"What's the matter?"

I couldn't really talk. Even my breath was shaking.

"Bella?" he called. I heard a voice in the background. Carmen.

"Nevermind," I squeaked. "I. . . I'm sorry. I d. . .didn't realize you were busy."

"I'm not. Hold on."

Edward covered the phone, muffling both his and Carmen's voices. It didn't matter. Hers was raised, and I didn't need to know what she was saying to know she was really pissed off. A minute later, he uncovered the phone and I heard a loud slam.

"Shit," he sighed. "I'm coming over."

I didn't even get a chance to tell him not to, and in all honesty, I needed him. I curled my feet underneath me and waited.

He didn't bother knocking – just like old times. His arms were around me, cradling me against him. I burst into tears. For a while, he just let me cry, but eventually, he wanted to know why I'd turned into a blubbery mess.

"Bella, baby, what's the matter?"

I lifted my head and looked at him. Snot dripped from my nose and my eyes hurt from rubbing them so much.

Edward glanced around and finally took in the scene. Wrinkled sheets, the condom wrapper on the nightstand, me draped in nothing but his old Forks High School Football t-shirt. His face paled.

"Oh, fuck! Did you . . .? He looked back at me. I nodded. He suddenly looked like he was going to be sick. "With who?" he rasped.

"I'm such a slut," I whimpered.

"No you're not. Jesus."

"Yes, I am. Oh, God," I sobbed. "We did it and then he just . . . he just. . ."

"He just what?"

"He left."

"Left? You . . . and then he just left?"

"Yes."

"That Motherfucker. Did he say anything?"

"Thank you," I whispered. Edward looked confused.

"For what?"

"That's what he said._ 'Thank you_.'"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" he growled. I shook my head. "Hold up. Who was it?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Goddammit, Bella. Who the fuck was it?" When I still didn't answer, he lifted my chin, forcing me to look at him. "Tell me who it was."

Knowing he wasn't going to give up until I told him, I gave in. "Marcus."

Edward squinted. "That douchebag who's been hanging around at Rose's?"

"Yeah."

"How the fuck did that happen?"

"I don't know," I cried. "We've been talking a lot. I thought we were friends. I thought he wanted to be more. He said he did. We were in the quad and Amanda left, you left. I was lonely. I just wanted . . . He started kissing me. We ended up back here. Don't be mad." It all came out in one long, sobbing mess.

"I'm not mad. Shit, B, I'm not mad at you. I'm gonna fuck him up, though," he added under his breath.

"No, no, no, no," I begged, grabbing his shirt collar. "Don't. Edward, don't. I just want to forget about it. Please?"

His eyes darkened and narrowed. "Was it consensual?" he asked tightly.

"What?"

"You wanted to, right? I mean, he didn't . . ."

"No! I mean, yeah. I wanted to," I answered. Edward let out a long, heavy sigh and hugged me tighter. "I didn't mean to bug you."

"You didn't."

"Do you have to get back to Carmen?" I asked, sniffling. "She's probably really pissed."

"No. She was already pissed off," he said, shaking his head. "I was ending it." He laid back onto my mattress, taking me with him.

"Oh, my God. I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. I don't want to be with her. She was starting to drive me crazy."

I lifted my head to look at him. He offered me a slight smile.

"I snotted all over your favorite shirt," I sniffled again. Edward laughed.

"That's okay. I can wash it." He put pressure on the back of my head, so that I laid down on him again.

"Edward," I mumbled.

"Hmmm?"

"Are you gonna stay with me?"

"Yeah."

"All night?"

"Do you want me to?"

"Only if you want to."

He chuckled. "Yes, Bella. I'm gonna stay all night."

My lips curled up into a smile and I nuzzled his chest.

"We both screwed up," he whispered. "It shouldn't have been like that."

"Yeah," I agreed, yawning. "That really sucked."

I felt the silent laughter vibrate through him. We were quiet after that. There wasn't anything else to be said. I cried a little more here and there. Edward ran his hands over my arms and through my hair, brushing it away from my face and trying to comfort me. When his movements slowed and his breaths got heavy, I lifted my head to look at him. His eyes were closed, his lashes fluttering.

"I missed you," I said quietly. I let myself relax into him – and then I fell asleep.

~TIL~

"Ding dong, the witch is dead," Rose sang a couple days later as Edward and I approached her, his arm slug over my shoulder.

"Rose," I scolded, frowning.

"Sorry, loverboy, but that nasty ho was about to get my smack down for the way she treated my girl here." Edward looked down at me and frowned

"Shut. Up!" I grumbled. Edward's fingertips slid against my shoulder. "Don't listen to her."

"I never do." He laughed, but I could tell by the way he held me that he felt bad. I'd finally admitted to him the things Carmen had said and done to me while they were dating. He'd had no idea. She was constantly telling him that she like me. She played him like a fiddle.

"You know I love you, right?" Rose said, bumping him from the other side. "I wouldn't give you such a hard time if I didn't."

Edward slung his other arm around Rose's shoulder. "And you know I wouldn't tell you to fuck off if I didn't love you back."

Rose snorted. "I'm glad you're back where you belong, honey. What the fuck happened to Marcus' face?" she gasped as we walked into the student center. Across the room, Marcus was sitting with a friend. His face was a mess. Black eye, busted lip. I hadn't had a chance to tell Rose yet what had happened that night. I looked up at Edward. He refused to make eye contact, telling me exactly what I needed to know. Marcus glanced over at us, and then quickly looked away before grabbing his stuff and disappearing.

"You shouldn't have done that," I whispered.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he answered. "I didn't do anything."

"Sure, you didn't."

"And if I did, he deserved it and more."

I leaned into him and then pulled away. "I love you."

He smiled and winked at me. "I know you do."


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: I know it's been a long time. It's been longer than I ever thought it would be. But here it is. **

**Huge, huge thank you to jayhawkbb who cleaned this up at least twice as I changed and rewrote over and over again. Thank you to Mel and to Lexie for pre-reading. **

~TIL~

Chapter 6: Three Years Ago: College year 2

"Put that over there."

"Here?"

"No, there."

"Where, Bella?"

"Right there."

"Here?"

"Jesus Christ, Edward. Right freaking here." I stomped my foot where I wanted him to put the table he was carrying.

Moving day. Exciting. Scary. Frustrating. I'm not sure Edward and I ever truly discussed our options for off-campus living. One afternoon, a few days before the end of the semester of our freshman year, Rose was jabbering about getting a studio apartment versus a one bedroom. Edward joined the conversation by asking me if I thought we should get a two-bedroom or if a three-bedroom would be better for when we had guests. I didn't think too much about it at that point. It made sense. We were always together anyway. Living with Edward would be fun, right?

Edward set down the table where I'd indicated. "Don't yell at me. Am I supposed to read your mind?"

"Yes!"

Carlisle appeared in the doorway, holding one end of a sofa. My dad was on the other end.

"Where do you want this?" Carlisle puffed.

"Don't ask her that. She gives vague answers," Edward said.

"Fuck you," I mouthed, making him laugh. "Just put it down. We'll figure it out later."

"Okay." They set it down in the middle of the room and the four of us went back downstairs to get more stuff.

After bringing up the last of the four hundred or so boxes, Edward collapsed on the sofa with a heavy breath.

"All right, kids. Your mothers will be here in the morning to help you unpack. We've got a show to get ready for," my dad said, giving me a hug.

"Have fun." I let go and embraced Carlisle, quickly releasing him so that Edward could say goodbye.

"Uh, yeah," my dad chuckled and slapped Carlisle on the back. "At least I don't have to suffer through it on my own." My mom and Esme had bought tickets to the Seattle Opera. My dad and Carlisle thought that Edward and I moving the same weekend was their escape route, but no such luck.

When they'd left, I started digging through a box labeled "_kitchen crap_." Edward's handiwork, of course. Our parents provided a healthy amount towards our household supplies, which was nice. Some was new. Some was stuff they were getting rid of. I found a glass wrapped in newspaper and pulled it out, rinsing it and filling it with water from the tap.

"I think our dads have a serious bromance going on," I said, sitting down next to Edward and offering him my glass.

He accepted it and took a drink. "You're just figuring that out?"

"Yeah. Well, no, but I could seriously see them as a couple."

"Well, the whole heterosexual thing kind of gets in the way of that, but I see what you mean."

"Hence the BRO-mance," I quipped. "Pay attention."

"Gotcha," he chuckled.

I looked around. The place was a mess. "Should we start unpacking?"

"No. I'm not doing one more motherfucking thing tonight. Other than hook up the TV. Go find blankets. We can crash right here."

I shrugged. "Okay."

It took me longer to find the blankets than it did for Edward to connect the TV to the cable outlet and get all the electronics set up. When I returned to the living room, he'd already put a movie on and was lying across the entire sofa.

"Where am I supposed to sit?" I asked, frowning. He opened his arms for me. I smiled and laid down in front of him.

"Comfortable?"

"Oh, yes," I said, sighing happily.

"Good. So am I."

~TIL~

I woke in the morning to the feeling of Edward's boner against my butt. Not something I was entirely unfamiliar with, but it was still amusing. I shifted my hips backwards.

"You may not want to do that too much, baby girl," he mumbled, his voice raspy with sleep. "You might get a surprise."

"Is this an every morning kind of thing or am I just lucky?" I teased.

"How do I answer that without getting myself into trouble?"

"You tell the truth. Always the truth."

"Okay. Both."

"Both?"

"Yep. It's an every morning kind of thing _and _you're very lucky."

I laughed. "You make no sense in the morning."

Rolling off the couch, I stood up and noticed him shifting his dick. When I glanced up to his face he was smirking at me.

"What?"

"Distracted?" He sat up.

"No," I grumbled, embarrassed. I turned around and walked towards the kitchen. "Do you know which box the coffeemaker's in?"

Edward laughed. "You overestimate my contribution to the packing process."

"No, I don't. I just figured since you labeled the boxes, you might know what's in them."

I bent down, opening a box. Edward appeared beside me. Because he was standing and I was kneeling, his crotch was practically in my face.

"Really, boner boy?" I snorted.

"I'm sorry. What do you want me to do about it?"

"Can't you go take a cold shower or something?"

"I could, but I really don't want to. It'll go away. . . probably not while you're on your knees, but eventually."

I stood and looked up into his amused face. "Find the coffee pot."

"Yes, ma'am."

~TIL~

It took a couple of weeks for us to get completely settled, but we managed to unpack the last box just in time for classes to start. Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, Edward and I would walk to campus and meet Rose at eight for coffee. My classes started at nine, Rose's at ten, and Edward's at eleven.

Tuesday and Thursday neither Edward nor I had class until noon, so he'd usually drag my ass out of bed to go work out. Edward loved running. Me not so much. Occasionally, however, I'd let him talk me into going a few miles with him. . . on the nicer days . . . when I had nothing better to do. I really didn't like running. My leg still wasn't one hundred percent and I doubted it ever would be. I preferred the gym where I could take a break without holding him back. I never told him that, though.

Edward was a natural flirt, so I knew it wouldn't be long before he started dating again. I, on the other hand, was a little more hesitant. It wasn't necessarily that I was still afraid of sex, but Marcus nailing and bailing left a bad taste in my mouth. I swore I'd never let myself be in that position again. I wasn't looking for a boyfriend, or even a date really, so when I was teamed up with James in journalism class for an assignment, I didn't initially think anything about it.

"Hi," he said, walking up to me as I scribbled notes from the white board. "I guess we're partners."

I looked up. "Oh, hi. I'm Bella." I offered my hand to him and he took it.

"I know." He smiled at me, his blue eyes startlingly bright and clear. I felt my cheeks flush with warmth. He set his bag down on the floor. "Can I sit?

I scrambled to move my own bag from the empty chair next to me. "Crap. Yeah. Sure."

James and I spent the rest of the class discussing the assignment and what each of us was interested in doing. Global affairs seemed to interest us both, so as time started winding down, we each took a point to start researching. When the clock on the wall indicated it was time to go and our classmates began packing up and moving out, James handed me a piece of paper.

"That's my number. Maybe we can meet up in the library this weekend and start pulling things together."

"Okay. Thanks," I said, staring down at the numbers.

"Aren't you going to give me yours?" he asked after a minute. I laughed and quickly dialed his phone. It rang once.

"Now you have it."

"Great." He leaned in tentatively. Without my permission, my whole body just kind of melted into him. The hug lasted far longer than it should have. I bit my lip and stepped backwards.

_That was awkward._

"I'll call you," he said. I saw him glance at my lips, and then back up at my face. I felt a fluttering in my stomach. Was he thinking about kissing me? If he was, he didn't follow through. He smiled and walked away. I watched him go. He had a really nice butt.

I was startled out of my voyeurism by my ringing phone.

_"What's up?" Edward greeted me._

"Nothing. I just got done with class."

_"You ready to head home?"_

"Yeah. Where are you?"

_"Quad with Rose. She wants to go get some food. You up?"_

"Yeah," I sighed. "I'll be there in ten."

~TIL~

"What the fuck is up with that guy?"

"What guy?"

"Him." Edward nodded his head and I looked over at the "guy" he was talking about. It was late Friday night and we'd been at the house party for hours. The place was packed with sweaty, drunk bodies. The music was loud enough that we had to yell to communicate. Rose had disappeared, following some guy she knew to a dark corner.

"Why do you think something's up with him?" I laughed.

"Because he's looking at you funny."

"He's not looking at me funny."

"He's looking at you like he wants to eat you."

"Maybe he does." I smiled and bit my lip. James was sitting against the wall with a group of people. They were all talking, but his eyes were on me. The silence that greeted me was deafening. I looked back at Edward. "What?"

"Nothing," he grumbled. "I'm going to get a drink."

Ten minutes later, Edward still hadn't come back. I was irritated enough that I nearly went to get my coat and leave.

"Hey, Bella," James greeted, unexpectedly standing right next to me. I startled, but then grinned at him.

"Hi! What are you doing here?"

"I live here."

"You do?" I asked, shocked. He nodded. "Isn't that a coincidence?"

"Yep." He smiled. "What are you doing here?"

"I, uh, I came with. . ."

"Your boyfriend?"

"No. I mean, I came with Edward, but he's not my boyfriend."

"Really?"

I nodded and then shook my head, making him laugh. I was suddenly really nervous. "He's not my boyfriend."

"Cool. Are you leaving? Or. . . can you stay?"

I felt my cheeks heat up. "I can stay."

"Good."

James and I found a couple of empty chairs and made ourselves comfortable. I listened and nodded as he spoke, but I couldn't stop myself from looking around for Edward. I was starting to get worried and I wasn't sure if he'd just left me there.

"Hey, I don't mean to be rude, but I should probably find my friend."

"Oh, yeah. Sure," James said, smiling. "I'll see you tomorrow at the library?"

I nodded and leaned in to kiss his cheek. At the last minute, he turned his head so that my lips landed on his.

"Sorry," he chuckled softly.

"Are you?" I teased.

"No. Not really."

"I'll see you later."

I stood up and looked around for Edward. I found Rose, her lips attached to the guy she'd been with all night.

"Have you seen Edward?" I asked.

Without detaching herself from the dude, she pointed towards the kitchen.

"Thanks, biatch," I laughed. My amusement at Rose didn't last long. The second I walked into the kitchen, my throat closed. A stunning blonde chick was sucking on Edward's earlobe and grinding herself against his thigh.

His gaze met mine, but he didn't move. He just stared at me. My stomach began to churn and I felt sick. I hadn't been prepared for that. I waved timidly and turned around.

I was about a block away from the party when I felt someone grab me from behind.

"FUCK OFF!" I screamed.

"It's just me. Jesus, Bella, calm down."

I let out a breath of relief. "Don't do that. You scared the shit out of me."

"Sorry. I was afraid you wouldn't wait for me. You just left."

"Well, you were all over that girl. I figured you probably weren't planning to leave with_ me_."

He scowled and folded his arms across his chest. "I wasn't all over her. She was all over me."

"Same thing," I said, rolling my eyes.

"So you can go fuck around, but I can't?" he snapped.

"What are you talking about? Who was I fucking around with?" I narrowed my eyes. "Wait. James? We weren't fucking around, we were talking."

"Same thing," Edward mocked, arching an eyebrow.

It was not the same thing. It was not the same thing at all. That girl had her tongue on his face and was practically dry humping him. There were no tongues or humping of any sort involved in what James and I were doing. I wanted to point that out, but something told me that it wouldn't be a productive argument. Instead, I pursed my lips together and stayed silent.

We stared at each other, each waiting for the other to speak first. I hated fighting with him. I hated the feeling in my heart when he looked at me like I'd hurt his feelings.

"You disappeared on me," I said quietly. "I didn't know if you'd left."

"I wouldn't leave without telling you." A sketchy looking pair of guys walked by us, ogling me unapologetically. "And I wouldn't let you walk home alone. Come on. Let's go."

"What about . . . that girl?"

"What about . . . that guy?"

"How did you even know I was talking to him? You said you were going to get drinks and then you never came back."

He sighed. "Yes, I did."

_Oh. _

I sniffed and shrugged. "We have a project due in journalism. I'm meeting him tomorrow at the library."

"I have a date with her tomorrow night."

"Huh. She didn't look like the kind of girl who dates," I snarked, turning to walk towards our apartment.

"Fuck you," he laughed.

"Getting right back on that horse, huh?"

"Well, you know, a guy has needs and all." He paused. "You don't have needs?"

"Probably not like you do. I can handle it on my own."

Edward groaned. "Why do you put those images in my head? Now I'm gonna wonder what you're doing in your room all by yourself."

I smiled to myself.

"That was your plan all along, wasn't it?"

"Noooooo," I said, shaking my head.

"You're so mean." He put his arm around my shoulders. We walked quietly down the street.

"Still thinking about it?" I asked.

"Shut up."

~TIL~

"I'm getting married."

My mouth dropped open in shock. "WHAT?" I shrieked.

Jake laughed. "I'm getting married. Next summer."

"To who?"

"Whom," he corrected.

"I know that!" I scoffed. "Don't try to distract me with proper grammar at a time like this. Who's the girl?"

Jake smiled widely. It was Thanksgiving break. He'd come home from Miami for the week. We all wondered why. It was the first time in three years he'd flown back. He thought it was a waste because he was always home for a month at Christmas. Guess this was why.

"Her name's Vanessa. I met her at school."

"How long have you known her?"

"A little over a year. We went out a few times. She moved into the apartment down the hall in August and we started . . . hanging out."

I wrinkled my nose. I knew what "hanging out" meant in Jake talk. I was thankful he didn't elaborate.

"And you're sure about this? Have you told your parents? What do they think?"

"Yes, I'm sure." He nodded. "And yes, I've told them. My dad's happy for us. My mom. . ." He stopped and sucked air through his teeth.

"Ha!" I laughed. I knew my aunt. No one would be good enough for her baby boy. She'd always been fond of Rose – loved how headstrong and independent the girl was, but when Jake announced that they were dating, my Aunt Elizabeth was not happy.

"Mom just needs to meet Nessa."

"Okay. Sure."

"She does. My baby's amazing." The way he said it made me smile from head to toe. He loved this girl. He wanted to marry this girl.

"She must be," I answered, still smiling. "I'm just saying. Aunt Elizabeth is . . . picky."

"It'll be fine," he assured me confidently. "I'm bringing her home with me for Christmas."

"Good. Do I get to meet her?"

"Maybe. If you behave and aren't your usual bratty self," he teased, flicking my forehead with his fat finger.

"Whatever, asshole!" I snapped, shoving his hand away playfully. I looked at him seriously for a minute. He looked happy. He looked like a grown up. I reached over and gave him a big bear hug. "Congratulations."

"Thanks. You want to tell Rose for me?" he mumbled against my shoulder.

"No," I snorted.

"Please? She's gonna find out from someone and I don't want her to be hurt."

"Ego much? You know she's over you, right?" He pulled away and looked at me with dark eyes. I sighed. He was right. Better for her to hear it from me than from someone else. "Fine. I'll tell her."

"Thank you. You're my favorite of all Uncle Charlie and Aunt Renee's kids."

"Shut up," I laughed, slapping him on the back of the head. He grinned at me.

"How's Eddie?"

"Busy."

"He find a chick to grease his pole yet?"

"Jesus, Jacob! Why do you have to be so crude?" I squealed. My cousin let out a huge guffaw.

"Dude, seriously? You guys just need to screw and get it over with."

"Why does everybody keep saying that?" I huffed, folding my arms across my chest.

"Because it's true. You guys are all over each other all the time. Or you used to be. Has that changed?"

I opened my mouth and then closed it again. I didn't know how to explain Edward and me and the evolution of our friendship. My inability to deny what my cousin was saying made me angry, though.

"Hey, Jake. How's your and Rose's friendship these days?" I asked sarcastically. He furrowed his brow and frowned. "Exactly. Sex complicates things. Always. We go there, we can't ever come back. Now, can we drop this?"

"And how are you going to feel when he gives it to someone else?"

"He already has. And it sucked. But our friendship is more important to me than anything else in the world. More important than sex."

"I meant his heart, Bella. What are you going to do when he gives his heart to someone else?"

My stomach dropped and I felt the blood draining from my face.

"That's what I thought."

~TIL~

Rose stared at me.

"Are you okay?" I asked softly.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Um. . . I don't know. He was your first."

"But not my last. It's fine. Whatever."

I shrugged. "You always have a place in your heart for your first."

"Really? Do you?"

"Ouch. Bitch."

She shook her head. "Sorry. I didn't mean that."

"I know you didn't."

She fiddled with her fingers.

"Do you still love him?"

"I . . . I think I'll always love him. God, I've known him my whole life. But I hate him, too. I wish we'd never done it. We were so good together in the beginning." I pursed my lips together and nodded. They bickered like cats and dogs in the beginning, but I supposed that was not the moment to remind her of that. "I guess I kind of get it now."

"Get what?"

"Why you don't want to be with Edward."

"Oh."

A tear slipped from the corner of her eye and rolled down her cheek. "It hurts more than I thought it would. And Jake and I never had a fraction of what you and E have. I can't imagine what it would feel like for you guys." She looked up at me. "Does it hurt to see him with other girls?"

I sighed. "It is what it is. I want him to be happy."

"What about you?"

"I want to be happy, too. It makes me happy when he's happy."

The look she gave me told me she didn't buy what I was saying. It was mostly true. I did want Edward to be happy, but Jake's words hit me a lot harder than I wanted to admit. The thought of Edward being happy with someone else scared me. I just didn't know how to remedy the situation without risking everything.

"This totally blows."

"Yeah. It does." I reached over and drew my best friend into a hug. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and sniffled. "Are you wiping your snotty nose on me?"

"No," she whimpered.

"Good. 'Cause that's gross." I hugged even more tightly, swaying back and forth.

"Can you tell Jake not to be stupid enough to invite me to the wedding?"

I laughed. That would be such a Jake thing to do. "Sure."

~TIL~

"You don't talk about yourself much, do you?"

"What do you want to know?"

"As much as you want to tell me."

"I'm not that interesting."

"I don't believe that."

James leaned in, pressing his lips against mine. This time, I kissed him back. We'd been meeting a few times a week since we partnered up in class to work on our assignment. We'd just turned it in and were having a celebratory drink at a local pub down the street. Well, he was having a celebratory drink. I was having a celebratory soda. I never got my fake I.D. back and even if I had, I wasn't willing to risk the embarrassment of getting caught again.

"Let me take you out."

"We are out," I teased.

"On a date. A real one."

"Okay."

"Yeah?"

I nodded.

And that's how I finally got my first real boyfriend. He did take me out – to Maximilien at Pike Place Market. Afterwards, we walked along the waterfront holding hands. And at the end of the night, he kissed me softly and went home. For the next two weeks, we saw each other every day. We called. We texted. We went out. I told him I wasn't ready to go too far. He told me it didn't matter.

Edward, Rose and I were busy with our own things, but we made time for each other as often as we could. It was a little weird living with Edward and not really seeing him. There were a lot of drive by greetings and jokes; a smile, a wink.

"Hey!" He called when he came in from his final class of the day.

"Hey."

He took in my appearance: The tight jeans, the push-up bra, the make-up. "Going out?"

I looked down at myself and smoothed my hands over my hips. "Yeah. Does this look okay?"

"Um . . ."

"I don't look like a hooker?" I clarified. He laughed.

"No. You don't look like a hooker."

"Good. Are you going out tonight?"

"Yep."

I inhaled deeply and grimaced. "I just took a shower, how do I stink already?" I turned around to go put on deodorant, leaving Edward chuckling in the living room.

We busied ourselves around the apartment for the next twenty minutes. I searched for my purse, he for his wallet. We passed each other in the hallway as we got ready for our dates. In my room, I slipped on my heels – the final step before leaving for James' place, and then closed my door behind me. Edward was in the kitchen eating a piece of cold, leftover pizza and looking at his phone.

"I'll see you later," I said quietly. He looked up and smiled at me. I smiled back. "You want to hang tomorrow night? We can order in Thai and watch cheesy horror flicks?"

"Just you and me?"

"Yeah."

He nodded. "Sounds perfect." His phone buzzed and he looked down at it before shoving it into his pocket. "Come on," he sighed. "I'll walk you down to your car."

~TIL~

I didn't see the girl Edward was going out with. He never brought her back to the apartment. I hadn't brought James over either, so I never questioned it. We didn't really talk about our love lives much anymore, but I figured it would be obvious if either one of us got serious about someone. By the time we got to Christmas break, whatever it was Edward had with the chick was over. Instead of going out most nights, he was home watching TV or studying.

Knowing that Jake was bringing Vanessa home, Rose decided to spend Christmas with her dad and his girlfriend in California. It seemed like the lesser of two evils for her. It's not that she was still hung up on Jake; she didn't want to be with him. But she didn't need it rubbed in her face either. I could appreciate that.

Jake was right. Vanessa was everything he ever needed in a woman. At first she seemed shy, polite, and kinda wimpy, but that didn't last long. We quickly realized that she didn't put up with his shit. The first time she leveled him with a bitch stare for saying something sexist, I nearly fell off my chair. Funniest thing ever.

And to my surprise, Aunt Elizabeth was in love with the girl.

"Told ya," Jake taunted.

"What are we, five?"

"I'm just sayin'."

"You were right," I conceded.

"Thank you. So what's this I hear about you having a boyfriend?"

"Who told you that?" I asked, confused. Jake lifted his eyebrows. "Oh."

"Well?"

"I'm seeing a guy from my journalism class. It's no big deal."

"Yet."

"Yet. I don't know. We'll see. Why? Did Edward say it was more serious?"

"Edward didn't say it was serious at all. He just said you had a boyfriend." He reached over, ruffling my hair. "Good for you, cuz. It's about time."

I shoved his hand away. "I'm not a virgin, you know."

Jake wrinkled his nose. "I didn't need to know that." He paused. "You really like Nessa?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I do. I think she's perfect for you."

He grinned widely. "Yeah. Me, too."

~TIL~

Jake and Vanessa only spent a week with us at Christmas. Once they were gone, Rose flew back and we spent the rest of the break goofing off and being lazy. Edward and I were once again in a place where we needed to be careful. One night, he pulled me down into his lap. It wasn't that big of a deal – until he got hard. Neither one of us knew what to do, so I pretended I had to pee. When I got back, I settled myself on the floor next to him.

James kept texting and calling over the break. His family was driving him crazy. He was looking forward to seeing me. He missed me. When we got back to our apartment in Seattle in January, I found a dozen roses sitting on our doorstep.

"Wow," Edward said flatly. "I didn't know you liked roses."

"I don't hate them," I said, bringing them to my nose and inhaling deeply.

"You just think they're cliché." He opened the door and walked in before I could respond. I did think they were cliché – and stupidly expensive. But James didn't know that, so I couldn't very well blame him for the effort. Carrying his bag over his shoulder, Edward headed straight back to his room and closed the door behind him. I set my own bag down and carried the flowers into the kitchen to put them into a vase. I set them on the counter and gazed at them for a moment. They didn't look right. I tried moving them the small table beside the sofa, but that didn't make me happy either. Frowning, I decided to take them into my room and set them on my desk.

A few days later, when they started to wilt, I threw them away.

When classes started up again, I was determined not to let my relationship with James take over so much that I neglected my best friends. It was harder than I anticipated, though, and I developed a new appreciation for what Edward had gone through with Carmen. It wasn't easy balancing a new relationship with everything else, especially as James and I began to get more serious.

Edward went out with a few different girls. I met some of them, but according to him, they were "no big deal." I found myself looking at every girl I met wondering if she was single – if she might make a good match for him. But inevitably, I always found a flaw. I wanted him to be happy and none of them were good enough for him.

"I don't need you to be my dating service," he griped one afternoon in early March as I was surveying a girl at the coffee shop.

"That's not what I'm doing."

"Then stop telling me how cute she is. I'm seeing someone, okay?"

"You are?"

"Yeah."

"Since when?"

"Since. . . a few weeks. It's early."

"Do I get to meet her?"

"I don't know. Are you gonna try to scare her off?" His tone was irritated.

I frowned. "No. Who have I scared off?"

He sighed heavily, but didn't answer.

"Carmen? Are you talking about Carmen? How did I . . .?"

"I'm not talking about Carmen, B," he said, shifting in his seat. "Don't worry about it. I just want to feel things out, okay?"

"Okay," I said softly.

I left it alone after that. Of course, my curiosity was piqued, but if Edward didn't want to talk to me about it, I wasn't going to force him.

It was three weeks later that I finally met Rachel. James and I had just returned to my apartment from the movie theatre. It was a Friday night. I figured Edward would be out. I figured wrong.

Opening the door, I was greeted by two startled faces. They just sitting on the sofa watching TV, but there was definitely an intimacy about them. His arm was around her shoulders and she was leaning against him.

"Hi!" I said awkwardly.

"Uh . . . hi. I didn't realize you'd be home tonight."

I swallowed and glanced at Rachel.

"Um, Rachel, this is Bella, my roommate." _Ouch_. "And her boyfriend, James."

James lifted his hand in greeting while I tried to nurse my fractured ego.

I didn't say much as the four of us pretended like it wasn't the most painfully uncomfortable night ever. Or maybe three of us did. Rachel didn't seem to notice. She smiled, laughed, and rubbed Edward's leg. After Edward glanced at me nervously for the four hundredth time, I decided that it was time to disappear.

"I'm getting really tired," I announced, standing up. James followed my lead. We said goodnight and retreated to my bedroom.

"Nice to see Edward with a girl," he commented as he got undressed. I simply grunted, crawling into bed in sweats and a t-shirt. I rebuffed every advance James made that night, frustrating him enough that he gave up. I faked sleep until his breath evened out and turned heavy, and then carefully got out of bed.

The lights were low in the kitchen. The apartment was quiet except for the hum of the refrigerator. Edward was standing at the counter, looking out the window.

"Hey."

He turned around and offered me a half smile. "Hey. What are you doing?"

"Couldn't sleep."

"Yeah. Me neither."

After a second, I went to the cabinet and pulled out a glass. Edward stood where he was. I could feel his eyes on me.

"I've been demoted to just your roommate now, huh?" I asked quietly, looking at him and biting my lip. Edward shook his head and looked away. "I mean, that's fine. I get it."

"Do you?"

"Yeah."

"I don't think you do," he insisted, looking back at me. "Every time I meet a new girl, she's threatened by you. I've tried to be upfront with them about you. I tell them you're my best friend and they get all freaked out and can't handle it. I think I like this one, B. I figure if she doesn't have some pre-conceived notion about you and me maybe. . . maybe it can be something."

"You keep saying that," I whispered.

"Saying what?"

"That it's my fault. It used to be a joke. I didn't know you really felt that way." I felt the tears pricking behind my eyes and tried to force them back. "I'm sorry. I'm not trying to."

"Don't cry," he begged.

"I'm not."

He lifted his hand and swiped his thumb across my cheekbone, smearing moisture across my face.

"I didn't realize."

"I know you didn't. And that's why I'm asking you to be nice to her. Don't pick her apart. Don't look for flaws. And please don't look at me like I'm cheating on you when you see us together." His green eyes were pleading with me.

"Okay," I said softly. He reached for me, pulling me into his arms and hugging me tightly. "I just don't know what I'd do without you."

"You're my best friend, Bella Swan. I will love you with everything I have until the day I die and longer. Never forget that." His words broke me and I let the sobs escape. I could feel his lips on my head, which only made the ache in my chest worse. "We're young and we're stupid, but we'll figure out how to do this eventually. I promise."

~TIL~

A few nights later, James and I were finishing a quick dinner on campus after classes. He'd been quiet for most of the meal, but I could tell he was working something out in his head as the lines on his forehead wrinkled and straightened.

"Are you okay?" I asked, lifting my soda.

He nodded and then shook his head.

"What's the matter?"

He cleared his throat. He was obviously nervous. A feeling of uneasiness spread into my chest.

"Um. . . I think that maybe this isn't working out so well."

"What isn't?" I asked, although I knew perfectly well what he meant.

"This," he answered, motioning between the two of us.

"Oh." I swallowed and set my drink down, taking a deep breath. "You're breaking up with me."

"I'm sorry, Bella. But you and Edward. . ."

"Me and Edward what?" I asked, frowning.

"I just think that you guys should sort things out between the two of you."

"Sort what out?"

He sighed. "The other night, when you got out of bed. . . I wanted to make sure you were okay. I followed you to the kitchen.

Realization hit me. "You heard us talking?"

He nodded.

"It's not what you think," I offered, even though I knew it was pointless. "We're close. We always have been, but not like that."

He laughed lightly. It wasn't a cruel laugh, just a disbelieving one.

"Look, I should probably get to class. I guess I'll . . . see ya around."

I didn't say anything. I just watched him go. I felt like a complete tool sitting there by myself after he left. I pushed back the urge to cry. It's not that I thought James was the one, but getting dumped felt like shit nonetheless. After a few minutes, I packed up my stuff and walked back to my apartment. Edward was sitting on the sofa, looking at a notebook. He glanced up at me.

"Hey."

I set my bag on the floor and flopped down next to him. "Hi."

"What's up?"

I put my head on his shoulder. "Nothing."

"Huh. For some reason I don't believe you. Try again, baby girl." There was no reason to not tell him. He knew me better than to accept my denial and he'd find out eventually anyway.

"James broke up with me," I said flatly.

"Oh." He set down his pen. "Uh, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I shook my head.

"Okay." He put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close. It was just what I needed. Edward didn't ask any more questions. We finished watching the show together, and the next one, and the next one. At some point, I must have fallen asleep, because I woke to find him laying me in my bed.

"Thank you," I whispered tiredly. "For being here." He leaned over me for a moment before pressing his lips against my head.

"Always. Goodnight, B."

~TIL~

After James and I broke up, I didn't mope like I had after Marcus. I went out with Amanda and Rose. I flirted and danced with random guys. It was fun. I also got a chance to spend more time with Edward and Rachel. I didn't have to work hard at liking her. She was nice. She didn't seem that into him, but I never said anything. I'd promised Edward and I would keep that promise. Luckily, I didn't have time to dwell on my own failed relationship. Finals were coming up fast and we all studied like crazy.

"My dad said I have to get a 3.5 GPA if I want to intern at the company this summer," Edward groaned.

"Whatever. You know you'll get that job no matter what. Besides, you're kinda smart," Rose teased.

"Says the rocket scientist."

"I'm studying mechanical engineering, not aerospace engineering."

Edward and I stared at her. She shrugged. "Shut up. It's not the same thing. I won't be working on any rockets."

We all laughed before downing another pot of coffee and burying our noses in our books again.

Rose was right; Edward had nothing to worry about. He ended up with a 3.8. Carlisle was happy and easily accepted him into Cullen & Associates. He even got paid. I was accepted to intern in the editing department of a small, Seattle-based magazine. I wasn't getting paid, but that was okay. I was excited.

Rachel stopped coming around shortly after classes ended. I wasn't sure if she'd gone back to her parents in Nebraska or what. Edward didn't offer that information and I didn't ask. At least not right away. But after a few weeks, I couldn't resist anymore. As Edward and I were taking our seats on the plane to Miami for Jake and Vanessa's beachfront wedding, my curiosity got the better of me.

"What happened with Rachel?" I asked. "Is she okay?"

"She's fine. It didn't work out," he said as though it were no big deal.

"Because of me?" My voice was far more timid than it usually was. I stared down at my phone even though I'd already turned it off.

"No. Not because of you. At least I don't think. Did you do something?"

I whipped my head up, about to protest, when I saw the sexy smirk on his face. He was teasing me. I elbowed him in the ribs.

"Ouch," he laughed. "Why you gotta be so violent all the time? Do I need to find the air marshal?" He tried to stand up.

"Shut up," I squealed, yanking him back down. "You're gonna get us kicked off the plane and Jake will be mad if we miss his wedding because you're being an idiot."

We were in near hysterics when the guy who had the aisle seat next to us sat down, giving us the evil eye. I pressed my lips together, trying unsuccessfully to control my giggling.

"I don't know her," Edward told the guy, jabbing his thumb at me. "She's very weird."

"Shut up!" I gasped. He smirked at me and offered me a piece of cinnamon gum. I glared at him playfully and took it. "Jerk."

~TIL~

"Holy cow," I whispered, looking out at the ocean as Edward walked me down the aisle. The sun was just beginning to set behind us, illuminating the sky with a multitude of bright colors. "So beautiful."

"Yep. Stunning," he agreed. I glanced over to see him looking at me and smiled.

"You're doing a great job. You getting paid for this?"

He laughed. "How much do you think an usher would get paid?"

"I don't know. How many old ladies have grabbed your butt?"

He laughed and leaned in. "Don't be so hard on yourself. You're not that old."

"Hey!" I scoffed, pulling away to see his stupid, sexy smirk. "That's not even a little bit funny. And you'd be lucky if I grabbed your ass."

"Maybe I'll get lucky tonight then," he whispered. He winked and let go of me, nodding towards the chair next to my parents before turning to go back down the aisle.

Funny enough, the next woman he escorted to her seat was Vanessa's grandmother. Her _widowed_ grandmother. And just before she sat down, her hand slid over Edward's backside. I snorted loudly, causing him to turn on me with a glare. I had to cover my mouth with my hand and still couldn't contain my laughter.

"What was that all about?" my mother asked once I'd calmed down.

"Edward just got lucky."

"Excuse me?" my mother choked. I laughed.

"Nevermind, Mom."

When everyone was seated, Edward claimed his seat next to me. Jake made his way up the aisle to the wedding arch along with his best man and groomsmen. The music started and the bridesmaids walked down the aisle, followed by an adorable little flower girl and, finally, Vanessa.

When she reached Jake, her father lifted her veil and we all sat down. As they said their vows, I started getting teary. Jake wasn't coming back to Seattle. He and Vanessa were staying in Miami even after they graduated. He'd told me at the rehearsal dinner. Edward reached for my hand, comforting me.

Before we knew it, the minister announced them as man and wife, and Jake was kissing his bride.

"Shit."

"What?"

"Jake's married."

Edward laughed. "Yep."

"Married."

"Uh huh."

"Jake."

"Bella?"

"What?"

"Let's go." Edward stood up and held out his arm for me to take. The reception was just up the beach at a restaurant.

The night flew by. Edward and I danced. My dad and I danced. Jake and I danced.

"I can't believe you're married."

"Okay, B. You've said that like a dozen times already," Jake groaned.

"I know. It's just. . . Wow." I smiled at him. "I'm gonna miss you."

"I'm gonna miss you, too. But we'll be back."

"Really?" I stuck out my lower lip.

"I promise," he said, smiling. The song finished and my cousin looked past me.

"Can I cut in?" Edward was standing there, his tie loosened, a sexy, crooked smile on his face.

"She's all yours," Jake said, stepping back. As the two shook hands, Edward leaned in, whispering something in Jake's ear. Jake laughed. "I hope so, man." He glanced at me and winked before taking off to claim his bride from my uncle.

Next thing I knew, I was swept up into my best friend's arms.

"The older you get, the better you dance," I teased.

"So when we're old and grey, you'll dance with me all the time."

"I dance with you all the time anyway."

"Will you dirty dance with me?" he asked bending his knees and grinding obnoxiously against me. I rolled my eyes.

"When we're old and grey? Sure. Probably not tonight, though."

"You're no fun," he grumbled.

I nodded towards Vanessa's grandmother. "I bet she'd dirty dance with you. She copped a pretty good feel earlier."

"Yes, she did," Edward chuckled. He twirled me around and then brought me back in close with a smile. "So, we have four more days before we have to go back home. What do you want to do?"

"I want to hang out with you. That's it. I don't care what we do as long as we do it together." I narrowed my eyes when I saw the smirk on his face. "And get your mind out of the gutter."

"I wasn't!" He laughed loudly. "I swear. My thoughts were completely innocent."

"Your thoughts are never completely innocent."

Edward shrugged. "Someday, you'll appreciate that."

~TIL~

**AN: Just wanted to make sure I said thank you for your patience, both with my time constraints and with the storyline. I know it's not always easy, but it's worth it, I promise. **

**Thank you to my friends Nic and Six for their rec on TLS and everyone else who is rec'ing, too. I haven't really been on social media much lately, so I don't always see the recs, but I've been getting a lot of new readers, so please know how much I appreciate it. ~LC~ xxxx**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Sorry for the long wait. My family and I have temporarily moved for my husband's work and it has been interesting to say the least. Hopefully the chapter hasn't suffered. :-\**

**HUGE thank yous go out to my pre-readers, Melee03, Lexie2516. Also, to 6dlb5, and, of course, my amazing beta, jayhawkbb for everything they do and for helping me through some tough times in the last month.**

**All mistakes are mine. **

Chapter 7: Two Years Ago. College year 3

"I'm gonna puke."

"No, you're not. Come on."

"I am."

"You've only had eight shots, B. You have thirteen to go."

"She's so fucked up," Rose laughed. "No way she makes it to twenty-one."

"No. No, no, no. I'm done." I opened my eyes as Edward set another shot in front of me. It was kind of blurry. I tried to make my eyes focus but failed. "What is that?"

"Slippery nipple."

"You have it."

"You want me to have your slippery nipple?" Edward asked.

"Yes." My stomach rolled.

"What do you want me to do with it?"

"Stop playing with her, loverboy," Rose scolded. "It's not fair if she's tanked."

I gulped down the shot. "What's next?"

Edward laughed and put his hand on my back. Sliding his fingers down my spine, he leaned in. "How about a screaming orgasm?"

~TIL~

"Ooooooh, my God."

"Come on, baby girl."

"Oooooooh. I feel like shiiiiiiit." Edward chuckled and pushed my hair out of my face with his fingers. "How many did I make it to?"

"How many do you remember?"

I closed my stinging eyes. "Eight? Nine? I think it was a prairie fire."

Edward pulled a piece of paper from his back pocket. "That was number nine. Very good. You got to ten before you passed out."

I smacked my lips and grimaced. My mouth tasted like ass.

"You threw most of it up about four this morning. Come on. Let's get you back into bed."

"I can't walk," I moaned, resting my head on my arms, which were folded on the rim of the toilet.

"Okay. Hang on." Edward braced himself and then lifted me up off the floor. He carried me from the bathroom back to my bed. "Do you want some water?" he asked after tucking me in.

"Yes," I whimpered weakly. My eyes were closed due to the throbbing in my head, but I heard his footsteps as he left the room. A few minutes later, he returned.

"Here you go," he said quietly. I cracked open my lids and sat up a little. Taking the bottle of water he held out, I downed about half of it. "Take these, too." He pushed a couple of ibuprofen at me. I took them and handed the water bottle back to him.

"Never again," I whispered. "I swear to God I'm never drinking again."

"Okay," he placated. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing? It's not your fault. Rose made it look so easy on her birthday."

"Rose has an unnaturally high tolerance for alcohol. You know that. I shouldn't have let you get that far."

I tried to narrow my eyes into a glare, but it hurt. So instead, I pursed my lips to let him know how annoyed I was by his statement.

"I was fine."

"Clearly," he teased. "Seriously, B. Remember my twenty-first?"

I did. There was a big group of us and I was the only one who'd stayed completely sober. Rose and I had to nearly carry Edward out of the bar. Luckily, she only lived a few blocks away, so the three of us just crashed at her place. His hangover lasted for days.

I closed my eyes again and sank back into my pillow. Edward didn't leave right away. I could feel him next to me as I drifted in and out of consciousness. Eventually, though, I managed to fall into a deep sleep.

When I woke, I was alone. I glanced at the clock and saw the number five. I didn't know if it was at night or the next morning, but I didn't care. I had nowhere to go. Grabbing the water bottle on my nightstand, I drank the rest of the lukewarm liquid before getting up and stumbling my way to the bathroom. The light was too bright, so I kept my eyes squinted as I brushed my teeth, and then stepped into the tub. I sat on the porcelain floor, letting the hot water wash all the stink off me.

"You okay in there?" Edward's voice called from the other side of the shower curtain.

"Uhhh," I hesitated. The heat was making my head woozy. "I may need help getting out."

He cleared his throat. "Okay. Um. . ."

I turned off the water and pushed the curtain to the side. "Help."

Edward picked the towel up from the rack and met me as I stood up and reached out for him. I put my hand on his chest to stabilize myself and felt his heart pounding. Looking up at him, his jaw was clenched and he looked almost pained.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

He shook his head and wrapped the towel around me before guiding me back to the bed. I sat on the edge as he picked out a shirt and a pair of sweats from my dresser.

"Can you. . .?" he waved his hand at me. "Get dressed on your own?"

"Yes." I tried to smile. "Thank you."

"Good. Okay. I'll go get you some crackers and be right back."

"Edward?" I called before he was able to get out the door.

"Yeah?"

"Is it night or morning?"

"It's night," he answered. "You slept all day."

I nodded. The shower had helped, but I still felt horrible.

After he left, I slipped into my clothes. It wasn't until I was fully dressed that it hit me. In all the years we'd known each other, Edward had never seen me completely naked. I'd seen him several times, but he'd only ever seen me in my underwear and bra.

"Shit," I groaned.

There was a knock on the door just before Edward appeared again.

"You okay?"

I blew out a puff of air and watched him come closer. "I'm fine. I'm tired."

"You smell better," he snickered, sitting down next to me and handing me a glass of fresh water, two more ibuprofen and a packet of crackers.

"Thanks," I snorted. "Will you stay with me?"

"Sure."

I scooted over on the bed to make room for him. He laid down, and I could feel his body heat the instant he was under the covers. Although I was already pretty warm, it was comforting. Once he had situated himself comfortably, he opened his arms. I snuggled in happily.

"Happy twenty-first birthday, Bella."

~TIL~

"I need to go someplace warm."

"What, you don't like the freezing drizzle?" Edward rubbed my arms, but I couldn't feel it through the thick, down coat I was wearing. All I could feel was the blistering, cold, wet air that was making my teeth chatter so hard I was pretty sure they'd chip. I grunted at him. The little green man appeared on the screen across the street, telling us we could walk. I ran. Edward followed. A few minutes later, we arrived at the coffee shop. I grabbed a seat just as a couple stood up and Edward went to get our drinks.

"So let's go somewhere," he said, sitting down across from me.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. Spring break. Let's do it."

"Spring break is soooo far away," I whined. "Let's go sooner."

"It's not that far away. I can't go over Christmas break."

"Why not?"

Edward started fidgeting, so I knew something was up. He sighed. "We're going to Chicago this year. To see Nana."

I frowned. "The whole break?"

He shrugged. "Pretty much. She was supposed to come up here, but her doctor said she shouldn't travel."

Edward was such a softie for his Nana Cullen. I could tell from the tone of his voice that he was worried.

"Is she okay?" I asked.

"I don't know," he answered quietly. "My dad said she hasn't been doing too well." That was all he said about it. An image popped into my head from a few years before, when Nana had come up for graduation. Edward was standing in his cap and gown. He towered over the old woman, but as she spoke to him and held his hand, he looked at her as though he were a little boy, with undeniable love and admiration. Tears sprang to my eyes, but I didn't let them fall. The last thing he needed was for my sappy, ovulating self to force him into thinking about what might happen.

"Okay then, where do you want to go?" I asked, enjoying the heat from the coffee on my chilled hands.

Edward seemed grateful for the return to the previous topic. "I don't know. You said someplace warm. Florida?"

"No, we were just there."

"We don't have to go to Miami. We can go to Orlando."

"Orlando during spring break?" I raised my eyebrows, wondering if Edward really understood the implication of his suggestion.

"Nevermind."

I laughed. "Are we seriously talking about doing this?"

"Yes. Why not?"

"What about Mexico? That's supposed to be the college students' Spring Break Mecca. So if we're gonna do it, let's do it there."

"I definitely want to do it. I honestly don't care where."

"Okay. Let's do it then."

Edward grinned at me. I rolled my eyes.

"Shut up, you dirty boy," I laughed. "Got your laptop? We can look up hotels and airfare on Travelocity."

"Where are we going?" Rose asked, sitting down.

"Mexico. You in?" Edward asked.

"Abso-fucking-lutely. I'm gonna freeze my tits off before the end of the year."

"We can't have that," Edward feigned concern. "They're the only thing you've got going for you."

"Fuck you!" Rose giggled. A breath later she added, "My pussy's pretty awesome, too."

Edward choked and covered his mouth and nose with his hand.

"Oh, my . . ." I gasped. "Rose!" I looked around. We were hiding in a little corner of the shop. No one was really paying attention to us, but even if they were, Rose probably wouldn't care.

"Wow," Edward gaped. Rose shrugged and took a sip of her coffee, hiding a smile behind her cup.

"You two are so easy. You'd think after all these years you'd know what to expect when you open doors like that. Besides, guys can talk about how fantastic their dicks are and nobody bats an eyelash."

"I . . . don't talk about that," Edward said, shaking his head.

"That's because you wear those pants." Rose nodded towards Edward's lap. "Everybody can _see_ how fantastic yours is."

Edward glanced down, then up at Rose. She smirked and nodded. He looked over at me. I pursed my lips together, not knowing how exactly to respond. The pants Edward was wearing did have a tendency to hang just the right way for a perfect outline of the beast below.

"Maybe I should wear these pants more often then," he laughed. "I'd get more dates."

"It would definitely improve your street cred," Rose agreed. Then she grinned. "I'm just fucking with you."

"Can we get back to the task at hand?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

Edward and Rose continued to banter and bicker the way they always did as we organized the details of our trip.

"So . . . room accommodations. What are we doing?"

"I want my own room," Rose chimed. "I love you guys, but . . . yeah."

"Okay." I turned to Edward. "So, um, do you want to share a room or would you rather have one to yourself?"

"Whatever you want to do," Edward answered. "I don't plan on bringing random chicks back, but if you want to . . ."

"I think I need some popcorn for this show," Rose quipped, leaning back in her chair and clasping her hands behind her head. I ignored her.

"No. I'm good. Let's share a room."

"Perfect." Edward grinned.

"Ah, man," Rose feigned disappointment. "Fine. Let's finish this. I gotta get to class."

~TIL~

With our vacation planned, surviving the winter became a little bit easier. At least until Christmas break. We were only back in Forks for about a week before Edward and his parents had to leave for Chicago. I hated seeing him go. I still had Rose, but her mom had just broken up with the boy toy, so Rose felt obligated to distract her.

The older we got, the fewer people returned every year. But there were quite a few who had never left, too. Those of us who were finally twenty-one spent a couple of nights at the lodge having drinks and hanging out just because we could, but I spent a lot of time with my parents.

A week before we were scheduled to return to school, I got a phone call.

"_Hey."_ The voice on the other end of the line made me light up.

"Hi. Where are you? I haven't heard from you in three days. I thought you were supposed to be home yesterday."

"_I was, but . . . Nana had a stroke." _

My stomach dropped and my heart started pounding. "Oh, my God. Is she okay?"

"_She's . . . She's in the hospital. I'm gonna stay here with her until classes start. Can you drive my truck up to Seattle and I'll just take a cab straight to campus from the airport?"_ He sounded so tired.

"Of course."

"_The spare set of keys is in my bedroom at my parents' house."_

"What can I do?" I hated being so helpless. I just wanted to hug him; to let him know I was there for him."

"_That's it. I just don't want to leave right now." _

"I wish I could be there."

"_Yeah. Me, too."_

There were a couple of voices in the background. One sounded like Carlisle.

"_Thanks, B. I should probably go." _

"Edward?"

"_Yeah?" _

"Tell her we love her."

"_I will." _

A week later, I found myself standing in Edward's childhood bedroom. There were a few clothes strewn around, a pair of tennis shoes in the middle of the floor, but for the most part, it was clean. I spotted his truck keys on the top of the dresser right away, but that's not where my attention was focused. Taped to wall and in various places around the room were pictures. I'd seen them all before, of course, but it made me smile nonetheless. There was one of him, Rose and me from junior year of high school. It was from a school trip to Olympic National Park. I was on Edward's back and Rose was giving us both bunny ears. There was another of the three of us on a camping trip up near the Canadian border. We were sitting on a log in front of a campfire drinking instant coffee from tin cups. We were disgustingly filthy and hungover, but it didn't matter. Next to that was a picture of Edward and his parents at graduation. There was one of Edward when he was about five, the picture of perfect mischief, standing with Nana and Papa Cullen. And then there were others – just Edward and me. I lifted one. This one was new to the collection. It was from Jake and Vanessa's wedding. I could tell we were both a bit tipsy, my cheeks were pink and my grin lazy. Edward's hair was a wild mess from all the dancing.

"You've got some sixth sense," I said, hitting answer on my phone as it rang.

"_Why? You at my house?" _

"Yeah. Just nosing around your room."

"_Oh. Well, don't look in my bedside table." _

I briefly considered opening the drawer to see what was in there, but I knew he was playing with me.

"I'm not interested in your porn, dirty boy. I'm more interested in these pictures."

"_Uh . . . Which pictures?" _

"The ones in plain sight," I laughed.

"_Oh. Good,"_ he sighed dramatically.

"You have some I shouldn't be looking at?"

"_No!"_ he rushed out_. "Absolutely not. Nope. Nuh uh."_ A moment passed_. "Did you find my keys?"_ His voice was less playful. He sounded tired. I picked the keys up and jingled them.

"Yes. How's Nana?"

"_She's better. Still has some paralysis, but the physical therapist is working with her. My mom and dad are gonna stay a few more days, but I'll be home tomorrow in time for my first class." _

"Good. I miss you."

"_I miss you, too. Drive safely. I'll call when I get in." _

~TIL~

Just like he promised, Edward was back in time for his first class. As I sat in my Media Ethics class, listening to the professor drone on and on about every last detail of the semester's syllabus, my phone buzzed with a new text.

_Barely made it. Late lunch? Quad? 2?_

I smiled as I texted back.

My treat.

Knowing that I was going to see my best friend in just over an hour made the class so much more bearable.

Edward looked tired. He was pale. His eyes were bloodshot and had dark rings underneath them.

"You look terrible."

"Thanks," he muttered.

I threw my arms around his neck and drew him down to me.

"Mama's here, baby. I'll take care of you."

I felt Edward's chest vibrate in laughter.

"If you're gonna get freaky with me, mommy kink probably isn't the way to go."

"Daddy kink?" Edward pulled away and scowled at me in disgust. I laughed. "How about Nanny kink?"

He smirked and waggled his eyebrows. "Now babysitter porn I could definitely get on board with." He licked his lips. "I used to have this babysitter in Chicago named Alison Finkleman. She had the biggest, roundest . . ."

I put my hand over his mouth. "I don't want to hear about Alison Finkleman. Come on, I'm starving."

We ate, talked and laughed. It didn't matter what the topic was, I just wanted to take his mind off of Nana Cullen. Although it sounded as though she was going to recover, the realization that she was at an age where getting better wasn't a given was hard on him.

"I have to go to class," Edward said, pinching the tip of his soda straw. "Do you have plans tonight?"

"Yep. I've got a date," I answered. His hopeful expression fell. I couldn't stand it. "With you, silly boy. I'll make beef stew."

"Oh, my God, I'm gonna come," he moaned. I laughed loudly and then snorted. "Seriously, woman. Your cooking is almost as good as sex." When I looked at him, disbelieving, he shrugged. "I said almost."

~TIL~

It was good that Edward and I got to spend that first night back together just relaxing because when the semester got into full swing, we were like two ships passing in the night. School was insane and I really had to work at my social life.

I went out with a couple of guys here and there. Some I let get a little farther than others, but none were serious. One night, I met a guy at the dive where we liked to hang out and he literally swept me off my feet, carrying me across the bar over his shoulder like I weighed next to nothing. Things got hot and heavy really fast. I thought I was fine . . . until we got back to his place. I couldn't do it. The more I thought about it, the more I realized I didn't just want a random hookup. The idea had, at one time, seemed wild and fun. Now, it seemed pointless. I made an excuse and bolted.

When I got home at two a.m., Edward was still up, watching a movie.

"Hey," he greeted, taking a sip of beer.

"Hi. Why are you home?"

He shrugged. "I had a headache. Club was too loud. Chick was too annoying."

"Oh." I plopped down in the chair next to him.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I guess."

He leaned forward and set his bottle on the coffee table. "What's up?"

I sighed heavily. "I met this guy at a bar." Edward narrowed his eyes and his body tensed, but he didn't say anything. "I went home with him."

He cleared his throat. "Okay. What happened? Do I need to go kick his ass?"

"No," I laughed lightly. "It's fine. Nothing happened."

Edward visibly relaxed, but the frown that had situated on his face remained. "You need to be more careful," he scolded.

"I am being careful."

"You shouldn't just go home with guys you don't know."

"You do." He arched his eyebrow. "I mean with girls."

"I don't just go home with girls," he scoffed.

"No?"

"No!"

"How many girls have you been with?"

"We're not doing this right now," he said, shaking his head.

"Five?"

"Bella."

"Ten? Twenty?"

"No! Jesus. I've been with a lot less than you apparently think."

"Just tell me," I urged, more curious now that he was getting agitated than I had been when I'd first asked.

"I'll make you a deal," he offered, straightening himself up. "When it matters, I'll tell you."

"When it matters?" I asked, tilting my head.

"Yeah. When it matters. As in, when the number of my sexual partners affects you in any way, I will tell you."

I rolled my eyes and laughed. "You're an asshole."

He leaned back in his chair again. "I'm serious, though, B. Don't go home with random dudes. I don't want you to get hurt."

"I won't. I think I'm gonna give up on dating for a while anyway."

"Why?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. I can't seem to find anyone I actually mesh well with."

"Oh," he said, handing me the bowl of popcorn that was sitting on the arm of the sofa.

"Oh? That's it? Those are your words of wisdom for me?"

"At two in the morning? Absolutely. You're lucky you got anything."

I threw a handful of popcorn at him. It hit him in the face and landed in his lap. "You're such a jerk."

He grinned at me and looked down at his crotch. "You better clean up your mess."

I stood up. "I'd love to, but you have a dirty mind."

"So?"

"So I'm not sure you'd survive my hand being that close to your junk." I winked at him and turned to leave.

"You have a dirty mind, too, baby girl," he shouted after me. "Don't forget that!"

~TIL~

By the time late March rolled around, we all needed a break.

"Mexicoooooooo!" Rose sang as we got off the plane. She'd changed from her jeans, sweater, and boots on the plane to a tank top, shorts, and flip flops. She had the right idea. Even though I'd taken off my sweatshirt, I was already roasting.

"What do you want to do first?"

"Strip," I groaned, lifting my carry-on laden hand to wipe my sweaty forehead. "It's so hot."

"Have at it." Edward smirked. "I'll stand guard."

"Shut up. Let's go get our luggage."

We followed Rose and her swinging hips, which had already garnered the attention of three frat boys coming off a plane from Detroit. She wasn't really interested; she just liked being flirted with. I can't say I blamed her. When Rose said something to me, one of the guys looked back and checked me out. I couldn't help but smile at him. He was cute.

We picked up our luggage and went out to join the line for the bus that would take us to our hotel. The air was thick with the smell of motor oil and body odor. But it was warm. I sighed happily.

Edward put his arms over Rose's and my shoulders. "This is gonna be fun."

For three days, our schedule was the same. Party all night, sleep until lunch and hang out on the beach all afternoon.

"You're burning," I warned Edward as I poked at the rapidly pinking skin on his back.

"Good."

"No, not good. That's how you get skin cancer. You need sunblock."

He turned his head to look at me and smirked. "Get on it, then."

I blew out a puff of air and grabbed the bottle of Hawaiian Tropic. Edward grunted as I sat my butt down on top of his.

"Ouch."

"I'm not heavy, jerk."

"You've been eating a lot of tacos, though," he teased

"Maybe I should just let you fry." I squirted the lotion onto his back and began rubbing it in. The sounds he was making were enough to gather the attention of everyone around us. He was totally playing it up, too. Rose rolled her eyes and went back to her book.

Finishing up, I slapped his back. As I was standing up, Edward flipped over and pulled me back down by my hips.

"What are you doing?"

"I need you to hide me for a few minutes."

"You think_ this_ is gonna solve your problem?"

He shrugged. I snatched the towel from my beach chair and tossed it at his face. He let me go long enough for me to get up.

"I'm going swimming. Rose?"

"Yes, please. You two are enough to make everyone need a cold dip." She tossed her book and her sun hat down on the lounger. We laughed and ran towards the cold ocean waves.

On our final night, I snuck off to Rose's room to get dressed for one more night of non-stop drinking and dancing. We'd be leaving late the next evening to fly home.

"That has got to be the shortest dress I've ever seen you wear," Rose commented, staring at me in the mirror as she put on lipstick.

I looked down. "Do you think I should change?"

"Absolutely not. It just looks like something I would wear."

"Then I'm definitely changing," I snickered.

"Shut it, bitch. I'm sayin' you look hot. Although, use this." She tossed me a tube of lipstick. Opening the top, I saw bright red staring back at me. _Sure, why not?_

I leaned into the mirror and lined my lips just as there was a knock on the door. Rose opened it. In the reflection, I saw Edward standing in a pair of grey, pinstriped slacks and a white, short-sleeved button down. He looked like a god. I turned and started walking towards him.

"Well, fuck me stupid," Rose gaped.

"I'm pretty sure someone already has," he quipped.

"Fuck you, pretty boy."

"You kiss your mother with that mouth?" he asked, pushing his way past her and looking at me.

"No, but get me drunk enough and I may kiss you." She gasped. "Dude, maybe we can have a threesome."

That shut him up.

"Close your mouth, honey," I laughed, patting his cheek. "That's not happening."

Rose shrugged. "It might."

I glared at her. "Are we ready?"

"Yes. Let's get the hell outta here and paaaaarty."

"Edward? Are you coming?"

He turned around slowly. "You two are the meanest women on the face of the planet."

~TIL~

For four hours we drank and danced – with each other, with other people. It didn't matter. At one point Rose and I sandwiched Edward, grinding all over him and only letting him go because I had to pee. When I was done, I found Rose dancing in the cage and Edward dancing with another girl, so I went to get a drink. I flirted and danced with a few guys. I drank some more. I was pretty fucking toasted when Rose found me.

"Jesus Christ, what are you drinking?" She coughed, handing me back the drink she'd just stolen.

"Well, I asked for a margarita, but it was too strong, so I asked him for more mix. Somehow I ended up with straight tequila. I don't know. I don't care anymore."

Rose laughed. "Neither do I. Cheers." She lifted her own glass and we drank, scrunching up our faces at the afterburn. "Where's Edward?"

"I'm right here," he said, coming up behind me.

"Oh, good. Dance with her," Rose said, pulling his arm so hard that he stumbled forward. She sauntered away, flipping her hair and swaying her hips. She was immediately picked up by a guy who wanted to dance. He wasn't entirely unfamiliar. Rose had danced with him at various places throughout the week and we'd even hung out with him a little bit on the beach. He seemed nice.

Edward slipped his arm around my waist, pulling me towards him.

"Hello," he purred.

"Hi."

"You look really good."

"Thank you. So do you. How drunk are you?"

"You smell like tequila," he said, avoiding my question.

I laughed, throwing my head back a little. When I straightened up again, I was met by Edward's lips on mine.

"You taste like tequila, too," he breathed when he pulled away. My heart started racing. Something felt different. But instead of listening to the little voice in the back of my head, I went with it, the alcohol fueling my actions. We swayed to the music. One of his hands gripped my hip, while the fingertips of the other slid over the back of my thigh. He felt so good against me. Too good.

We didn't kiss again. We just danced. He held me against him so tightly I could barely breathe.

"Let's get out of here," he yelled over the music.

I looked around for Rose and found her with the same guy. It didn't look like she was going to let go of him anytime soon. I grabbed Edward's hand and led him over to her.

"Rose!" I shouted. "Let's go."

"Why?"

"Because we're fucked up and it's late."

"You guys go," she said, waving me off.

"No way. I'm not leaving you here. I may never see you again."

"I'll take care of her," the guy she was groping offered. I ignored him.

"We're going, Rose. He can come with you, but we're not leaving you here."

She huffed and glanced up at him. He shrugged.

"Okay."

Walking, or rather stumbling, back to our hotel, Edward and I tried to ignore the conversation taking place behind us as Rose and her dance partner seduced each other in very loud voices, but it wasn't easy.

When we got to the elevator, they were over the verbal part of the seduction and had moved on to the physical. The tiny space was full of sucking and moaning noises.

I looked over at Edward who was biting his lip, trying not to laugh. I backhanded him in the stomach. He grunted and finally let out a huge, snorting guffaw. It didn't disturb the horny ones at all.

The doors opened and I snapped my fingers to get their attention. It was times like these that I was so, so thankful that Rose not only had her own room, but also it was several doors down. As we reached her room, they separated just long enough for her to find her key card.

"Hey!" I called before she was able to disappear. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm sure. I took a picture of his driver's license and emailed it to myself." She smiled, puckering up and kissing the air at me. Then she shut the door.

Edward and I made it back to our room and staggered in. Very rarely did we feel awkward around each other, but this was definitely one of those times.

"Are you disappointed there was no threesome?" I slurred.

"Ha. I'd be an idiot if I said no. But I never really thought it was an option, so. . ." He sat down on his bed and pulled off his shoes.

"I need to pee."

"Again?"

"Shut up! I've had a lot to drink."

I felt every step towards the bathroom. I used the toilet and managed to get my teeth brushed before the need to lie down became overwhelming.

Edward was half naked and lying facedown across his bed. I slid out of my dress and slipped on a pair of sleep shorts and a tank top, then fell into my own bed.

I was just about to doze off when I felt Edward slip in behind me. His chest pressed against my back, his crotch against my butt. He kissed my shoulder. I let him. His hand rubbed gently up and down my arm before sliding over my stomach, underneath the hem of my top, tickling my skin. I could feel my heartbeat in my ears and I felt a flood of heat between my legs. He didn't say anything as his fingertips caressed me. They toyed with the waistband of my underwear. I waited for him to just go for it. They'd dip and then return to my navel before dipping again. I didn't move.

My brain swirled with muddled thoughts. Did I want to do this? Well, yes. I did, but why? Was I just horny? It'd been a long time since I'd been with anyone. I'd been drinking. Was that why? I didn't let myself think about the negatives – that we'd have to deal with the consequences of this when we got back home. It was about feeling and the need to resolve some of the tension between us.

I turned in his arms and pressed my lips against his. He responded by opening his mouth and pushing his tongue into mine. Fuck, I was so turned on. I wanted him. I wanted all of him. He rolled me onto my back, letting his bodyweight pin me to the bed. As he rocked against me, my head started to swim. We were both moaning loudly – completely uninhibited. He pulled my shirt up and over my head, leaving my breasts bare. I cried out when his tongue ran a circle around my nipple, licking and sucking. It felt so, so good. He kissed me from my collarbone up to the base of my throat. Just as his hand slid downwards and started tugging at my shorts, I was hit with a moment of clarity. Everything I'd been protecting for almost five years was about to be destroyed.

"Oh, God," I said, stilling as my senses came back to me.

"What? What's the matter?" His voice was rough.

"Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck." I pushed at his chest. Reluctantly, he moved off of me. Reaching for my top, I pulled it on hurriedly. "We can't. Shit I'm sorry," I whispered. Rubbing my hands over my face, I felt like an idiot. And an asshole. And a bunch of other horrible things that I couldn't verbalize.

I heard Edward groan. I was afraid to look at him. He took a deep breath.

"Relax," he said, the strain in his voice clear. "It's fine."

"It's not fine."

"Bella," he grumbled. "I'm too fucking tired to do this right now. Let's just go to sleep. Come on." He guided me back down to the bed. He put his arm over me again, careful to keep his groin away from my backside this time. I'm not sure who fell asleep first. His heavy breathing against my shoulder suggested it was him, but I could feel the tension in his body up until the very moment I drifted off.

It was going to be a very interesting morning.

~TIL~

When I woke up, I was alone. The clock on the nightstand read nine twenty-four. I reached for my purse and pulled out my phone. There was one text message, sent at eight o'clock.

_At the gym. B back l8r. _

I rolled over onto my back, feeling the pain of too much alcohol and not enough time to sleep it off. At first, the night was a little blurry – okay, a lot blurry. But the more consciousness seeped in, the more I remembered.

A slew of emotions rushed through me. Embarrassment. Regret. A brief moment of desire. More embarrassment. How could I have let that happen? Was Edward mad? Of course he was mad. What would he say when he got back? We'd been in some pretty compromising positions before, but nothing like that. Would things be weird?

The whole thing made my brain hurt.

"What's the matter?" Rose asked, handing me a cup of coffee when I met her in the lobby.

"I'm just tired," I mumbled, blowing across the top of the mug. "Where's your friend?"

A sly smile spread across Rose's face. "He left just before you got down here."

"Did you have fun?"

"I always have fun. I didn't need him for that."

"Were you careful?" I asked. She arched her eyebrow. "Okay."

"Where's E?"

"Gym."

"You guys get into a fight?" Her intuition was irritating. "Don't look at me like that. What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

Rose didn't say anything. She just waited.

"Ugh," I groaned. "We nearly . . ." I bobbed my head from side to side, avoiding her gaze.

"Oh, shit! Really? Like how close?"

"Not that close, but close enough. We were so drunk."

"You stopped it?"

I nodded. "We were fucked up, Rose. We were horny and drunk and it felt good. We would have regretted it."

"How do you know that?"

I shrugged. "I guess I don't. But I'm not willing to take the chance."

"Well . . . good. I'm glad you said no. Seriously, when you guys go on that ride, you don't want to be fucked up. You'll want to remember every last delicious detail." She licked her lips playfully.

I just snorted. She was never gonna give up.

Two and half cups of coffee later, Edward appeared, freshly shaven, wearing khaki shorts and a green t-shirt that matched his eyes. Rose whistled.

"Hello, sexy stranger." She smirked at him. "Two days in a row you come up in here lookin' like a mill. Where you off to? You got a date?"

"Yeah," he laughed. "I have something I need to do today."

"We not good enough for you?"

He snatched a muffin from the continental breakfast table and took a bite. "Have a wonderful morning, ladies." He met my gaze as I fingered my sunshine necklace uncomfortably. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Rose looking back and forth between us. Edward winked at me; a sign that we were okay? And then he turned and left.

"Well, that was awkward," Rose muttered. "What's he doing now?"

"I don't know."

"Whatever. You want to go to the beach and have some margaritas?"

"It's ten a.m., Rose."

"And?"

I watched as Edward disappeared out the door. "Yeah. Let's go."

~TIL~

"You looked really nice this morning. Where'd you have to go?" I asked, as Edward and I packed our luggage for the trip home later that evening.

He shoved a dirty shirt into his suitcase. "A guy my uncle's been talking to about doing some work in Portland is here on vacation. It was a last minute thing. I got a text while we were out at the club asking if I could meet with him on behalf of the company. I said sure."

"Oh. That's cool. Did Cullen & Associates get the job?"

"Don't know. It's a thirty million dollar contract, so I hope so. My uncle said I could help."

"That would be huge," I gasped. "I'm sure you got it. Do you think you got it?"

"If I'm as good as I think I am, definitely. And I'm pretty sure I'm better than that." He smirked, making me laugh, but it didn't last long.

I bit my lip. "We need to talk about last night."

"Probably."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I shouldn't have let it happen."

"Why not?" he asked. I tilted my head. He chuckled. "I know exactly where you stand, Bella. I don't need an apology."

"Oh," I said, feeling both relieved and confused. He sat down on the bed.

"I'm not an idiot, B. I know why you don't want it to go further."

"You do?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Last night was . . ." he looked down and I saw a smile creep across his face.

"What?"

"Not gonna lie, last night was pretty fucking hot," he laughed. I blushed, remembering the feeling of his lips against mine, his tongue against my hot skin. "But I knew you were gonna push me away. You always have. I didn't actually expect for it to get as far as it did."

"Me neither," I admitted. "I was worried that you were mad at me."

"I was. I spent a fucking hour after you fell asleep thinking about asking the front desk for another room."

"Oh." I sniffed, feeling my heart hurt.

"Yeah, well, I was fucked up and sexually frustrated. That's why I hit the gym this morning. I woke up with the same boner I went to bed with and needed an outlet."

"I didn't mean to . . ."

"Stop fucking apologizing and listen!" he said loudly. I shut my mouth. "After two hours of sweating it out, I realized that if I didn't enjoy the dance, I wouldn't keep initiating it." He took a deep breath. "You make me feel good, Bella. Touching you, holding you, talking to you. Fucking_ looking_ at you. My Nana's never gonna hit the jackpot on those stupid scratch tickets, but she still buys her twenty dollars' worth every week because she enjoys the feeling they give her."

"Are you calling me stupid?" I laughed lightly.

"Yeah. 'Cause that would work out real well for me." He rolled his eyes and then looked at me seriously. He took my hand, placing it against his chest. "I love the way we are, B. I love the girl who lets me say dirty things to her without slapping me. I love the sexual innuendos and the way you tease. But even if those things weren't there, I'd still love this." He thumped his hand over mine and offered me something I hadn't seen in a long time – his goofy grin. I could feel myself light up. I wrapped my arms around him, burying my face in his neck.

"You have no idea just how amazing you are," I squeaked, trying to avoid giving any attention to the sudden swell of emotion hitting me square in the chest.

"Yes, I do," he deadpanned. "You're very lucky."

"I know I am." I giggled, letting him go.

"Seriously, though, B. I don't want to have this fucking conversation again. It's stupid."

I nodded. "I agree. We both know where the line is, I think we can manage not to cross it, right?" Before Edward could answer me, my phone rang in my back pocket. "What's up?"

"_Oh my fucking God. What are you bitches doin' in there? Stop humpin'. We've got a plane to catch." _

~TIL~

When we got back into Seattle, life was waiting for us. Everything seemed to be on hyperdrive. We never saw Rose because her nose was always stuck in her books. For as much as she loved to have a good time, she knew when to buckle down.

Edward and I also spent most of our time with our butts glued to our dining room chairs. My computer was my constant companion as junior year came to an end. On top of our final exams and papers, we had to find internships.

Edward was, of course, offered one at Cullen & Associates. I applied for a number of internships and ended up taking one at a local arts and entertainment magazine. We took a night off to celebrate with a nice dinner out and then returned to our studies.

When I'd finished my last final, I dragged myself back to my apartment. It was quiet, but I knew that Edward had finished just hours before so he was home. I knocked lightly on his bedroom door.

"Yeah," I heard him groan.

"Can I come in?"

"Since when do you knock?"

I laughed and opened the door. Edward was lying on top of his covers in a pair of sweats and a bare chest. I took a moment to appreciate the view.

"Since I can't be sure if you have company or not."

"Trust me, you'd know if I had company," he teased. "You done?"

"Yes," I groaned, sitting and then laying down next to him. "Finally."

"You want to go do something?"

"No." I shook my head. "All I want to do is sleep."

"Oh, good," he sighed. "'Cause I'm so tired I don't think I could I could get up even if I wanted to."

I curled into his side and yawned. He hugged me tightly.

"Well," I mumbled. "Just one more year."

"Yeah," he said quietly. "Just one more."

~TIL~

**AN: Yes, just one more chap before we catch up to the original o/s. **


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Hey! Sorry this took so long. I intended to post before we moved back home, but my entire family came down with this horrible, horrible cold virus that keeps circulating and will not go away. We are still fighting it, but I managed to finish and wanted to get it to you. **

**Thank you so much to my beta jayhawkbb and my pre-readers Debi, Lexie, and Mel. Love you all. **

**Thank you also for everyone still reading and those who are reviewing. I know it's hard when I'm not updating on any kind of a schedule. I haven't gotten a chance to do review replies in a while, but please know how much I love hearing from you. Thank you so much. **

**~TIL~**

Chapter 8: One Year Ago. College Year 4

The summer before our senior year, Edward, Rose and I stayed in Seattle. Our internships kept us busy, but we still managed to have decent social lives. After losing touch with Jasper for a few years, Edward ran into him again at the gym. He and Alice started meeting us at the pub down the street from our apartment every week. I enjoyed hanging out with them. Jasper gave Edward that dose of testosterone-filled conversation that he couldn't get from me and Rose. And although I loved Rose in all her blunt honesty, it was nice to have a softer, more mild-mannered friend, too.

"So are you excited to start medical school?" I asked Alice as we sat at our regular table in the back corner of the pub.

"Excited? Ha!" she laughed. "I don't know if excited is the word I'd use. Anxious, terrified. Those might be more appropriate." Her head turned towards where Jasper, Edward, and Edward's friend, Eric, were sitting at the other end of the table. All three had their attention on the same thing.

"Who is that twit?" Alice asked.

"Who the fuck knows?" Rose quipped. "We've been asking the same thing."

That twit was Maggie, an eighteen year-old, incoming freshman from Seattle with red hair, bright blue eyes, and an obnoxiously loud cackle. She hung on Edward's every word.

I shrugged. "She's a hostess at one of those chain restaurants. Edward picked her up a couple of weeks ago."

"Yeah, he just showed up with her one night and _bam_, she's like a tick – always attached – like she's feeding off him." Rose's lip curled up unpleasantly. Alice and I laughed. "Could she be any more pathetic?"

"Oh, come on. Leave the poor girl alone," I scolded. "She's young. And look at him. What eighteen year-old girl wouldn't be gaga over what he's offering?" Rose cocked an eyebrow at me. "That's different. Besides, I think we were all like that at one point."

Rose laughed. "We were _never_ like that."

"I was like that with Jasper in high school," Alice admitted. "I felt so stupid, too, because he was younger than me. But, God, he was so hot. He made me into a bumbling idiot every time he talked to me." I smiled at the look in her eye as she spoke about her fiancé. "So, anyway. Bella, I've got someone I want you to meet. He's really cute."

I shook my head. "I don't know."

"Please?" she begged, drawing out the word. "Please say yes. He's a third year med student. He was helping out in my orientation. Seriously, incredibly smart, super nice, and absolutely gorgeous."

I let out an unexpected snort, causing everyone at the other end of the table to look at me. I waved them off and then turned back to Alice.

"I swore off dating," I mumbled.

"What does that even mean?" Rose asked. "You're twenty-one years old. How do you swear off dating? You should be dating and fucking like crazy right now. Because eventually," she waved her finger over my face, "this is going to wrinkle." Her finger moved down to my chest. "And those are going to sag." I shook my head in amusement. Her finger pointed to my lap. "And that is going to dry up."

"Shut the fuck up!" I screeched, pushing her hand away. Rose laughed and gulped down her vodka tonic. Both she and Alice stared at me expectantly. They were right. I was young and single. I should be dating.

"Ugh. Fine. Give him my number," I acquiesced.

"Really?" Alice said excitedly. "Awesome. You'll like him, I swear."

"Now what about me?" Rose asked, pretending to be offended. "Can't you find me a doctor?"

"Do you want a doctor?" Alice asked skeptically. I waited for Rose's answer, even though I knew what it was going to be. She'd dated a med student before for about two seconds. His schedule of classes, labs, and rounds along with hers didn't mesh well.

She wrinkled her nose and shook her head. "No, not really."

Alice chuckled lightly. She took a sip of her beer and looked over at the guys and Maggie. "She's cute, but somehow I don't think it's going to last."

Maggie glanced at me and then quickly looked away. Seconds later, she edged so close to Edward she was practically in his lap.

"Why?" I asked, curious.

Alice shrugged and smiled at me. "Just a hunch."

~TIL~

"Ugh," I groaned, rolling over as I hit my alarm. I didn't want to get up, but I needed to. I could hear movement from the living room, meaning Edward was awake. He'd been getting up early most mornings – training – so I didn't really think much about it.

I got out of bed, slipped on my UGGs, and went to the bathroom before dragging myself to the kitchen. By that time, Edward had retreated to his bathroom to take a shower. After fixing myself some breakfast, I sat down at the table and begrudgingly opened my laptop. There was a quick knock on the door before it opened. I startled and looked up at . . . not Maggie.

"Oh. Shoot. I'm sorry. I didn't realize," she stumbled over her words and then pointed towards the counter. "I just forgot my purse."

Not having truly woken up, I couldn't really put much thought into my reply.

"Um, okay," I said, trying to smile.

Edward appeared to have moved on. This one was older, quite a bit older. But she was still attractive, with ash blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail. She grabbed her purse and turned back towards the door.

"Thank you."

"Yeah. Bye," I mumbled.

When she shut the door, I shook my head. I didn't even realize Edward had anyone over.

About ten minutes later, Edward came strolling into the living room, his jeans slung low on his hips, his torso bare, his hair slicked back. I only looked for a second – maybe two . . . or twenty.

"Who was that?" I asked nonchalantly.

"Who?"

"The blonde that just came back to get her purse."

"Oh. That was Victoria."

"Huh. Where'd she come from?"

Edward sat down next to me and snatched one of my bagel halves. I tried, unsuccessfully, to slap his hand away.

"Atlanta."

"You mail ordering them now?" I teased.

"Yep. I've already gone through all the eligible Washington bachelorettes. Time to expand my horizons," he responded without pause. I glanced up to see him smirking at me.

"You're such a dick," I laughed. "Are you keeping this one?"

"Nah. You know I'm still waiting for you, baby girl."

"And what exactly would you be waiting for me to do, Edward?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"I've got a list. I'll email it to you, but I reserve the right to add to it as I think of things."

I rolled my eyes.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I have a paper due next week."

"Already? It's the first week of classes."

"Yeah, well, not all of us are taking the easy way out," I grumbled, my mood inexplicably taking a nosedive.

"Easy? I have all of Cullen & Associates on my shoulders, Bella. I fuck up and the dynasty crumbles." His face was deadly serious, his voice shaky, but I didn't buy it for a second.

"Could you be any more melodramatic?" I laughed.

"I could. Will you toast me a bagel?"

"What?" I asked, looking at him like he'd lost his damn mind.

"I always burn it. You make it so much better."

"You put it in the toaster and you press the button. What's so hard about that?" Edward stuck out his lower lip and gave me puppy dog eyes. "Oh, my God." I stood up and grabbed the package of bagels I'd left out, sliding two halves into the toaster and pressing the button down. "What is it with you and food? Every time I turn around you're asking me to make you something."

"And every time, you do it," he said, his mouth close to my ear, his warm breath fanning over my neck. He kissed the side of my head and went to the fridge, grabbing a bottle of water. "That was my masseuse by the way."

"You're sleeping with your masseuse now?"

"I'm not sleeping with anyone. She's married with two kids. My IT band is acting up again. I asked her to come over early because I have to go into work later."

Edward was running a marathon in Spokane in a few weeks and had been training all summer. He'd pulled his IT band during a half-marathon at the beginning of the summer and it had yet to fully heal. I wasn't quite sure where the IT band was, but he kept talking about it and rubbing his leg, so I knew it was in that general vicinity

"So . . . she massaged you in your bedroom?" I asked, tilting my head.

"No," Edward chuckled. "In the living room. She brought her table and her oils. It was all on the up and up, B. Why are you being so nosy? Are you jealous?"

"I've always been nosy. Just like you. Your leg's hurting again? When did that start?"

He shrugged. "It's not a big deal. And I'm not nosy. I just like to have all the information."

I smiled. "Sure. Maybe you should rest it."

"Yeah, maybe I should, but I can't. I'll rest after my race."

"I don't think you should run if it's hurting that badly." The toaster popped up two perfectly browned bagel halves. "See? Easy." I dropped them onto a plate and handed it to him. He opened his mouth, but I put my hand over it. "You can put your own damn peanut butter on it, so don't even ask."

I could see his eyes light up in amusement. He pulled at my wrist.

"You're too good to me. That's all I was going to say."

"Sure it was."

"You never answered my question."

I furrowed my brow. "What question?"

Edward stared at me. I watched his tongue dart out, passing over his lips. I felt something deep, down inside me twist. "Were you jealous?" he asked, his voice low.

My heart rate sped up. I could usually read Edward so well. But at that moment, I couldn't tell if he was teasing me or not.

"Of course not." I pulled my lower lip between my teeth and bit down harder than I usually did. "I need to get back to my paper."

Edward sniffed and nodded. "Okay." He reached for me, pulling my lip from between my teeth. "Thanks for breakfast."

~TIL~

"So Alice tells me you're a journalism major."

I tucked my hair behind my ear. "Yes, I'm a senior."

"Nice. What are you going to do when you graduate?"

"Be a journalist," I snarked, hiding my smile with my wine glass. Riley, the med student Alice had set me up with, didn't miss a beat.

"Really? That seems like a tragic waste of your degree."

I laughed. "So, uh, you're a doctor?"

"Will be. I still have to graduate and all that. And I have an internship . . . and residency."

"You're not going to be a doctor for a long time, are you?"

"No, not really." He grinned.

The small talk went on for over an hour as we ate dinner. Alice was right. He was incredibly smart and sweet. And he had beautiful eyes. After dinner, he took me to a comedy show. He leaned in and spoke in my ear throughout. He smelled really good.

Afterwards, we got drinks at a bar. I drank just enough to feel good, but not so much that my clothes would fall off without my permission. If I was going to sleep with the guy, I wanted to make sure I knew what I was doing. It didn't happen . . . but it could have. We spent ten minutes outside of my apartment steaming up the windows of his car before finally getting out. He held my hand as we walked to the apartment door. When we got there, I stopped and turned to face him. Leaning in, I kissed him softly one last time and then pulled back. .I could see he was turned on. His eyelids were heavy, his breathing was heavy. I think he was waiting for me to invite him in, but I didn't think it was a good idea. I wasn't easy and I didn't want him to think I was. Besides, Edward's car was sitting in its spot.

"I had a great time tonight." I smiled. Disappointment appeared on his face, but he hid it quickly.

"I did, too. Can I call you?"

"Sure," I breathed.

He hesitated and then turned to leave. I watched him get to his car and waved as he drove off.

Edward was sitting in the living room with a half-eaten pizza and three empty beer bottles on the coffee table. He looked surprised to see me.

"I didn't think you'd be coming home tonight."

I shrugged. "I'm a little more reserved in my old age."

"Shut up," he laughed. "Don't try to pull that shit with me. I know what a dirty girl you are."

I snorted and sat down next to him. "Why aren't you out tonight?"

"The escort service was all booked out."

"Be serious."

"No one to go out with." He said it with such nonchalance, immediately taking a drag of his beer and focusing back on the television.

"Really?"

"Really."

"You wanna go out?" He turned his head to look at me. "It's only midnight. We've got two hours until last call and I know that Sullivan's has live music until closing." I smiled and batted my eyelashes at him, playing coy like I used to in high school. Edward shook his head.

"You're such a little tease. But you know your wicked ways don't work on me."

"Oh. Well, I'll just have to work harder next time."

He laughed. "You do that." He stood up and reached for me. I gave him my hand and he helped me up. "Let me get dressed. I'll be ready in five."

~TIL~

"Are you okay?"

"No. It hurts like a motherfucker."

I slid under Edward's arm and helped him hobble from the car to the apartment. Opening the door, I guided him to the sofa.

"I told you not to run," I said, leaving him to get a bag of ice from the kitchen. Glancing over at him as I filled the bag, I grimaced. The expression on his face told me it was not the time to play the '_I told you so_' game. "I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be a bitch."

"You're not being a bitch. I'm just not in the mood right now." I handed him the bag of ice. "I'm not even sure where to put this," he muttered.

"What can I do?"

One of Edward's closed eyes popped open. "What are you offering?"

"Probably not what's going through that filthy mind of yours."

Edward chuckled. "Probably not. I'll settle for a back rub, though. My muscles are killing me."

"Now that I can do. Take off your shirt and get on the floor."

"I love it when you're demanding. It plays right into my dominatrix fantasy. All you need is the black latex lingerie and a whip." He peeled off his t-shirt, which was stinking to high heaven, and threw it to the side before rolling off the sofa and onto the floor. He rested his head on his folded arms. I pushed the coffee table out of the way.

"You're so gross," I mumbled. "I'll be right back." Walking to my room, I grabbed a bottle of vanilla scented lotion from my nightstand.

"What's that?" he asked when I set it down on the coffee table.

"Lotion." I sat down beside him and rolled up my sleeves. He turned his head to face me.

"Ugh. Am I gonna smell like a girl?" he whined. "I've got plenty of lotion. Use some of mine."

"I don't even want to know what you use all that lotion for," I laughed. "I'm certainly not going to touch it."

"Don't pretend you don't know." He moaned as I pressed my thumbs into a particularly tight knot in his lower back.

"Do you want me to do this or not?"

"God, yes! Please don't stop."

I rolled my eyes, but couldn't stop my grin. Edward made my life so much more entertaining.

~TIL~

"Do you want to come home with me tonight?"

The liquid I was holding in my mouth burned down my throat as I swallowed and waited for the answer.

"Not tonight, but thanks."

"Come on, Edward. I miss you."

I heard him chuckle. "I'm sure you do, baby. Just like you missed that Alec guy last weekend. And the one with all the tats the weekend before."

"Well, if you want, I can be all yours," she purred. Her voice was grating. I could only imagine the look on her face as she desperately tried to seduce my best friend into having sex with her. He'd hooked up with her a couple of times a few months before, but stopped when he realized she got around as much as she did. He caught my eye for just a second and smiled – amused.

"What's going on over there?" Riley asked in my ear as he returned from the bathroom.

"Edward's fending off a persistent one," I mumbled.

"I didn't realize he was that picky."

I frowned and turned to face my boyfriend. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Riley shrugged and motioned for the bartender to bring him another drink. "Just what I said. I didn't realize he was that picky. She's pretty. She's obviously willing."

"She's a slut."

Riley laughed. "And?"

"And he's not like that." I could hear the irritation in my voice. I knew Riley could, too. He looked over at me.

"I know he's your roommate and your friend, but, Jesus, the guy will sleep with anything."

"He will not. You don't even know him."

Riley made a noise in the back of his throat that only served to irritate me more. "What's up with you tonight? You're all pissy."

I wasn't pissy, I was jealous. No, no I wasn't jealous. There was no reason to be jealous. Right?

"I'm not pissy," I snapped. "You're insulting my best friend."

"I'm not insulting him, Bella," he defended. "You're going to sit there and tell me he doesn't hook up with a different girl every week?"

"Yes. I am. He's a flirt and he likes to have a good time, but he's not a man-whore. The words Edward had said to me months before stuck in my head. _"__I've been with a lot less than you apparently think."_

"Fine. Whatever you say." Riley tossed his drink back and set his glass on the bar top. "You ready to go?"

"Yeah," I grunted.

"Your place or mine?"

"Not tonight, Riley," I mumbled. When he just stared at me, I shook my head. "I'm not feeling very well and I have a presentation on Monday. I just want to go home and sleep."

I knew he didn't buy it. It was obvious I was irritated. But he knew me well enough by then to know that it was better for him to just leave me alone.

He took a deep breath. "Fine. Let's go. I'll take you home." He took my hand. I made eye contact with Edward before moving. He was frowning.

"Okay?" he mouthed, looking like he would pounce if I said I wasn't. And although a very small part of me wanted to see what would happen in that case, I pushed it away. Instead, I nodded and pointed at the girl who he'd been talking to. He shook his head and twirled his finger around, indicating she was crazy. I laughed.

"Are you coming?" Riley asked, tugging on my hand.

"Yeah. Let's go."

~TIL~

That was the beginning of the end for me and Riley. We continued to date, but my heart wasn't in it and I realized it never would be. I think he realized it, too. It was a good thing, really. The further into the school year we got, the more challenging his schooling was and the less time he had to spend with me. We parted on good terms, but it kinda hurt. I was feeling like I'd never find anyone. Rose told me not to worry about it.

"Look at it this way," she said, focusing on my pinky toenail as she covered it in bright red polish. "Unless you're already serious like Alice and Jasper, or you're going through the program together, it doesn't usually work out. And from what I hear, it only gets worse. Better to end it now and move on. There are thousands of beautiful boys on this campus."

"I guess." I shrugged. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"I haven't seen you with anyone in a while."

Rose leaned back, admiring her handiwork, and then pushed my foot away, indicating that she wanted my other one.

"Meh. I'm bored. Maybe I'll try girls for a little while." I glanced up to see a wide smile on her face.

"Shut up. You like dick too much."

"Yeah, I do. But maybe we could try those strap-on things." My mouth gaped open. "Seriously. Let's try it, B. What's the worst that could happen?"

For a moment, I actually thought she was serious. Only for a moment. I turned around to see Edward walking away.

"You're so mean to him," I said quietly.

"I'm just trying to help you out. By the time you get your head out of your ass, he will be like a caged lion released. And you will be his sacrificial lamb." She shivered. "Fuck that makes me hot just thinking about it."

I swallowed the lump in my throat that had formed as images from Mexico popped into my thoughts. The way he took control, the way his tongue sent sparks through my whole body. The way he held me like he was never going to let me go. I started to wonder where we'd be if I hadn't stopped him. Would we still be just friends? Would we be lovers? Would we hate each other because it wasn't what either one of us expected?

"Hellooooo?" I shook my head, forcing the thoughts away and looked up at Rose.

"What?"

"I asked you a question."

"Oh. Sorry. I was thinking."

"Yeah. And from the pink tinge in your cheeks I can only guess what you were thinking about. Tell me, sister," she said, leaning forward. "Tell me all your dirty thoughts about that roommate of yours."

"Shut up."

"But I really want to know," she laughed.

"Can you please just finish my toes?"

~TIL~

Shortly before Thanksgiving, I woke in the middle of the night to find Edward slipping into bed behind me. His arm wrapped around my waist and his fingertips played with the hem of my t-shirt.

"What are you doing?" I groaned sleepily.

"Touching you," he murmured. "I've missed this. I'm really glad you broke up with that dude."

I pressed my head back against his shoulder and let him nuzzle my neck. "What's the matter?"

His lips pressed against my shoulder. "Why do you think something's the matter?"

I turned over onto my back and looked up at him. "Because you always come to cuddle when you're upset about something."

Edward smirked down at me. "God, you look so fucking good underneath me," he said, teasing. I think. But behind the amusement in his voice, was something else. He looked troubled. I frowned.

"What's wrong?" Edward sighed and leaned down, resting his head against my chest. I ran my fingers through his hair, dragging my nails across his scalp. "Tell me," I whispered.

His fingers went back to my shirt, pulling it up and grazing my skin across my hip bone. "I caught Eric making copies of a client's financial records today."

"So?"

"He had no reason to be making those copies. He tried to say my uncle had asked for them, but when I asked Alastair, he didn't know what I was talking about."

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm gonna tell Alastair."

"Shit."

"I know. Eric's my friend, but. . . I have to report him. If he does anything with that information, Cullen & Associates can be sued."

"I'm sorry, honey," I whispered, continuing my ministrations.

"It fucking blows. I hate being a grown up."

"Yeah. Me, too, sometimes. What can I do?"

"This is perfect. Just keep doing this."

We stayed like that for a little bit, just being close. His touch on my skin left me tingling. Every time his fingers dipped too low, I squirmed so that he'd bring them back up. His movements were slow and deliberate. As if he knew that what he was doing was pushing me and that it was taking all the willpower I had to not encourage him.

He shifted a few times, and then sighed and lifted his head.

"My dick's really hard."

"I can feel that," I giggled.

He shrugged. "Sorry."

"No problem."

He continued to stare down at me for a few seconds. "Shit. This isn't helping." He jumped up, adjusting himself. "I'm gonna go. . .," he jammed his thumb behind him. "Yeah."

I laughed out loud and watched him go, shutting the door behind him. When he was gone, I felt cold. I pulled my duvet up, but it didn't help. My door opened again.

"Hey, B?"

I rolled over. "Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"I didn't do anything," I said, smiling.

"Yeah." He nodded. "You did. Goodnight."

"Night . . . Edward."

~TIL~

"Merry Christmas, honey!" My mom wrapped her arms around me before I'd even managed to get in the door.

"Merry Christmas, Mom," I grunted as she hugged me tightly. I heard her gasp and she let me go.

"Edward! Get in here, it's freezing out there." She pulled his arm. He stumbled in, carrying my bags. "Put those down and give me a hug." Edward set my things down and enveloped my mom in a big hug. "Ooooh. I can't get over how grown up you are," she cooed, pulling back and looking up at him. "You're like a_ man_ man now."

"Was I not a man before?" Edward laughed.

My mother tsked. "You know what I mean. Come on in. I'll make some coffee."

Edward glanced at me. "Uh, can I take a rain check? My dad has a conference call in about an hour that he wants me to sit in on."

"He's having you work through the holidays? Does he realize this is the last Christmas break you're going to have?"

"I'm not really working, but it's a deal I sort of helped with."

"Is this the Mexico guy?" I asked. Edward nodded.

"Fine," my mother said, pouting. "But I fully expect you to spend at least one dinner with us."

"I wouldn't miss it." Edward winked at my mom. "I'll call you later, B."

When he'd left, my mother turned to me. "Did he just wink at me?"

I laughed. "Yeah, he's smooth like that. The ladies love him."

"I bet they do. But I will never be able to see him without thinking of that short, skinny boy who showed up at our door to take you to homecoming your sophomore year. He certainly has grown into a fine young man, though. Now leave your bags there and come talk to me. I have mulled wine in the crockpot that should be just about ready and I feel like it's been forever since we've sat down together."

My mother didn't release me to unpack for nearly two hours. She talked my ear off about all the town's gossip. Who had gotten married; who had gotten divorced; who was pregnant but not telling anyone even though it was "_oh, so obvious."_ She asked about school. She asked about Rose. It's not that I hadn't talked to her about things, but I guess I hadn't gone into depth about anything.

When she finally felt like she'd gotten and given the skinny on just about everything, she put her hand on top of mine.

"I'm so happy you're home, sweetheart. I've missed you."

"I've missed you, too, Mom."

Later that afternoon, when my dad got home from work, he handed me a beer and sat me down to talk. It was mostly about sports and work, but I didn't care. I loved that he wanted to spend time with me.

"Were you in on the conference call with Carlisle and Edward this afternoon?"

"Yep. That boy has a bright future ahead of him. He's got an innate business sense. It's impressive."

I smiled. "Yeah. He's something else."

My dad glanced at me. "You are, too, honey. I have no doubt you'll be chief editor for a world-class newspaper or magazine someday." I snorted at my dad's attempt to praise me, too.

My mom popped her head into the living room. "Dinner's ready."

We stood and my dad put his hand on my back as we walked.

"I'm serious, Bella," he said. "I'm very proud of you."

"Thanks, Dad."

The days leading up to Christmas were some of the most relaxing I'd had in a long time. I wasn't in a hurry to get anywhere. I stayed in my pajamas until lunchtime. My mom and I spent a lot of time together just talking. Edward, Rose and I managed to make it to one party thrown by Tyler, but when Jessica Stanley got up on the table, dancing in what she assumed was a provocative way, we bowed out and went home. It was the same shit she'd done in high school and it wasn't even amusing anymore.

Christmas morning, my immediate family spent the morning together, eating pancakes, drinking coffee, and opening presents. That afternoon, the Cullens joined us for dinner and drinks. Rose and her mom stopped by for dessert, but they didn't stay long. Rose was leaving to visit her dad, his girlfriend, and their new baby. She wasn't entirely happy about it, but she showed me a picture and the little guy was pretty cute.

As our parents drank and laughed and talked about work parties past, present, and future, Edward and I retreated to the backyard. It was freezing, but once Edward started a fire in the pit and we cuddled together under a heavy, fleece blanket, it wasn't too bad.

I rested my head on his shoulder and stared up at the sky.

"I think it's gonna snow," I said.

"Looks like it."

"What do you think you're gonna do after graduation?" I asked. The question had been on my mind for the last few weeks.

"I guess I'm going to become a full-time employee at Cullen & Associates. I mean, I'll probably have to start at the bottom, but I think my dad and uncle intend for me to take over someday."

"That's what my dad thinks, too," I mused. "So you'll stay in Seattle?"

Edward turned his head towards me. "Yeah. Why? Aren't you?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. What happens if I can't find a job in Seattle?"

"You will."

"How do you know? Maybe there won't be any positions open. I don't really have any savings. I can't afford to not have a job."

"Then I'll help you out until you find one." I could hear the agitation in his voice. He didn't like where he knew I was taking the conversation.

"You're not going to take care of me, Edward. I can take care of myself."

"You're not moving away, B. I won't let you."

I laughed. "You won't _let _me?"

"Shut up," he grumbled. "I'm not trying to be misogynistic. I'm not saying you can't take care of yourself or that you need to be taken care of." He took a deep breath. "I'm saying _I_ can't live without _you_. I don't want to."

"You don't have to. But I need to go where the jobs are and I'm just saying . . . that may not be Seattle."

"We don't have to talk about this right now, do we?"

"Edward."

He slid his arms around my waist and hugged me so tightly I could barely breathe.

"Shut up. It's Christmas, I'm not talking about this."

I rolled my eyes, but left it alone. Sometimes talking to him was like dealing with a toddler. Especially when it was a subject he didn't want to discuss.

A few minutes later, the first snowflakes began to fall. They hit our cheeks and melted instantly. I snuggled even closer to Edward as the fire roared and snow fell heavier. I don't know how long we stayed out there. Minutes? Hours? Eventually, though, our parents called us to come inside and say goodnight.

"Mistletoe," Edward said, pointing up. "I didn't put it there this time."

I laughed. "I know." Lifting up on my toes, I pressed my lips against his softly. "I'll see you tomorrow."

He smiled, turned, and ran to catch up with his parents.

~TIL~

"I'm hungry. Are we eating or what?"

"How is it that you eat like you do and never gain any weight?"

Rose scoffed. "I work out like a fucking maniac and my stress levels are permanently on 'exceeds maximum'. Seriously, I don't understand why female engineers have to work so much harder than the guys to get respect. They all treat me like I don't understand anything. I'm a hundred times smarter than the so-called fucking geniuses in that group."

"They know that," I comforted. "They're scared of you. It makes them feel better about themselves. Just keep doing what you're doing and don't waste your time on them."

"Oh, I won't. Anyway, how are things?"

"Fine."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. I saw Edward updated his status to '_in a relationship_'."

My head snapped up. "What? Where?"

"On Facebook."

"No, he didn't."

"Uh, yeah, he did."

"When?"

"I don't know. You live with the dude. When did he get a girlfriend?"

I frowned. Edward was sort of seeing a girl named Hannah, but they'd only gone out a few times. They weren't in a relationship – well, not a serious one anyway. And she certainly wasn't his girlfriend. I pulled out my phone and got on Facebook. Sure as shit his relationship status had been changed.

Rose laughed. "Have you at least met her?"

"Yeah. Kind of." I averted my gaze when my friend widened her eyes in question. "Not really. But in my defense, we really haven't seen each other much in the last couple of weeks."

"Obviously."

"Shut up. We've both been busy. I'll ask him."

"You do that. Okay. Um. Food. Now. Before I pass out."

~TIL~

"I didn't do it, B!" She hacked my fucking Facebook. She's a stalker."

"You seem to attract a lot of those," I snorted. I finished cutting potatoes and put them in a crockpot.

"I found a fucking four-page love note and a teddy bear holding a rose in the front seat of my car."

"How'd she get into your car?"

"I don't know." He looked guilty. "I might have left it unlocked. That doesn't matter, though. Look!" He shoved a series of papers at me. I dried my hands off on a towel and looked them over. Words like "soul mate" and "eternity" were written in capital letters.

"Oh, shit!"

"Yeah. See? How do I get rid of her?"

"Did you sleep with her?" I asked, scanning the rest of the letter

"No!"

"Really?" I asked, disbelieving.

"Yes, really," he grumbled, taking the papers back. "We got a little hot and heavy, but she didn't want to. I didn't push it."

"You need to start doing background checks on these chicks."

"I'm done with 'em. All of them."

"Sure you are," I chuckled.

Pursing his lips, he shrugged. "If you'd just fucking marry me, I wouldn't have this problem." He smirked and came in for a cuddle. I laughed and pushed him away.

"Your logic never ceases to amaze me."

"Marry me, Bella Swan," he cried dramatically reaching for me again, his cheeky grin firmly in place.

After a few seconds of fighting him off, I relented, letting him wrap me up in his arms. "You're impossible."

"I'll never sleep with another girl again," he promised playfully, rocking me back and forth.

"You're stupid."

"Yeah. I am."

"You want me and Rose to take care of her for you?"

Edward tilted his head, a sly smile creeping across his face. "You'd do that for me?"

"I'm not talking about killing her," I laughed. "But I'm sure that we can talk some sense into her."

"Can I watch?"

I groaned and pushed him away. "Rose and I will talk to her. Now can I get back to making dinner please?"

~TIL~

I was breathing heavily – too heavily. My pulse was pounding. I could feel sweat dripping down my back and in between my breasts.

Edward was much better at this than I was.

"We need to stop," I panted.

"No, we don't. Just keep going. We're almost there." He grabbed my hand. "Come on, baby."

"Edward," I cried, gripping his fingers tightly.

"Do you want to go faster?"

"No. Just . . . Oh, my God, I'm gonna die."

A few minutes later, I was flat on my back, my heart feeling like it was going to explode.

"Why do you make me do that?" I groaned.

"Because it's good for you. It was only four miles, B."

"Felt like four hundred."

"Get up. I'll give you a piggyback the rest of the way." Edward reached out and pulled me up off the ground. I jumped onto his back and let my legs dangle.

"I feel like a little kid," I laughed.

"You whine like a little kid. Geez, suck it up. Be a man." Just as the words spilled from his lips, Edward stumbled, jamming his foot against a piece of uneven concrete on the walkway. He dropped me and howled like a hyena, profanities spewing out. I laughed loudly.

"Suck it up. Be a man!" I teased.

"I think I broke my foot."

"Do you want me to carry you?"

"Yes." Edward lifted his leg like I could actually lift him. "Ugh. What good are you if you can't even carry me when I'm broken?"

I snickered as I followed his limping ass back to our apartment.

"What are you doing the rest of the day?" he asked an hour later as he packed a hoagie roll full of meat.

"Rose and I are going shopping."

He shoved the sandwich in his mouth, taking a huge bite "For what?" he mumbled with his mouth full.

"That's attractive," I said, curling my upper lip. He grinned at me and took a drink of soda. "I need to get a dress for graduation."

"Would you be able to grab me a tie while you're out?"

"I guess. What are you wearing?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Black pants, a white shirt."

"That's it?"

"Socks. Shoes. Underwear." He tilted his head. "Maybe I won't wear underwear."

"You're such an idiot," I groaned, turning my back and grabbing my purse. "Do you care what color?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I really don't care."

"Okay." I smiled to myself as I walked out the door. He was so going to regret that.

~TIL~

"Cheers!"

"Cheers!"

Everyone lifted their glasses. The clinking echoed through the room before we all downed the champagne. The room was full of family and friends. My parents, Edward's parents, my aunt and uncle, Jake and Vanessa. I'd warned Rose that they were coming, but she insisted that it would be fine. She was over him. And to prove it, she showed up with one of the hottest guys I'd ever seen. He was _GQ_ magazine quality.

"Shit, where'd you find him?" I whispered furiously.

She laughed. "He's a friend. Well, actually, he's a friend's boyfriend."

I frowned. "That sucks. So. . . no getting laid?"

"I wouldn't get laid anyway," she said shaking her head. "He's gay."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Why does God make gay guys so damn hot? Geez."

"To torture us. But don't tell Jake."

"I won't. You sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine. Actually, it's not that big of a deal. I'm kinda cool with it. Vanessa seems nice."

"She is. And she's good for him, too."

"I'm happy for them."

I believed her. Rose was fairly easy to read. At least for me. Several times during dinner, I saw her talking to Nessa and laughing. Jake seemed a little weirded out at first, but by the end, he was just going with it.

"I'm so proud of you," my mother cooed, wrapping her arm around my waist.

"Thanks, Mom."

"No, no, honey. I really am. You are so smart and so beautiful."

I cleared my throat and tried not to laugh. She was tanked. I looked around. Esme and Rose were sitting at the table, drinking their wine and talking with their heads close together. My aunt and uncle were laughing with Jake and Nessa. Edward, Carlisle, and my dad were drinking whiskey out of tumblers. Edward caught my eye and winked.

"Okay?" he mouthed.

I nodded and pointed towards my mom. "Drunk," I mouthed back. He chuckled and took a drink of his whiskey.

"Those boys and their scotch," my mother slurred. "Do you remember when Carlisle caught you two drunk as skunks on his living room floor?"

"Which time?" I teased. "Yes, I remember." Edward started walking towards us.

"Remember what?"

"The one and only time I let you talk me into consuming that stuff." I said, pointing at his glass.

Edward grinned. "That was a good night."

"I don't think I want to hear anymore," my mom giggled. She lifted herself onto her tippy toes, sliding her arms around Edward and kissing him on the cheek. She came dangerously close to spilling her wine down the back of him, but I managed to right the glass just before it could happen. When she was gone, Edward stood in front of me.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"You look beautiful."

"Thanks." I smiled, feeling my cheeks heat from the wine I'd consumed. "You look nice, too."

"Yeah. Thanks for the tie, by the way. I forgot to, uh, say that earlier. You know, when I was, uh, freaking out about it. Was this the only one they had?"

I reached forward, cradling the bright pink fabric in my hand before letting it slip through my fingers.

"You said you didn't care."

"I should have opened the bag before this afternoon."

"Yep. You probably should have. You could have worn one of your old ties."

"Whatever. I've gotten a shitload of compliments. Apparently, pink on men is in."

"That's what the sales guy said. I knew you'd like it."

"I didn't say that," he teased, slipping his arm over my shoulder. "This is a rowdy bunch. Your mom is fuuuuucked up." We both looked over to where my mother was getting handsy with my dad. I wrinkled my nose. "It might be time to put them in a cab."

"You think?"

About half an hour later, we did just that.

"Goodnight!" we called.

"Goodnight!"

"I love you!"

"Be safe."

"We'll see you in a couple of weeks."

Edward and I waved at our parents before climbing into his truck. As we drove back to our apartment, I felt a heavy weight settling in my chest.

"What's the matter?" he asked instinctively, glancing sideways.

"I don't know."

He reached out and grabbed my hand. "We did it. We're grown-ups."

"Just like that?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Well, what do we do now?" I asked.

"I don't know. Grow up?" I looked at him and busted out laughing. "What's so funny?" he asked, his forehead furrowed.

"The idea that you'll ever grow up."

"Fuck you!" he said, smirking. "I'm a biiiiig boy. Wanna feel?"

"Ugh," I groaned, pulling my hand away. I knew just how big he was, I didn't need the reminder.

Edward snickered. "I'm just playing with you, B. When do you start work as a full-time employee?"

"Monday. You?"

"Yep."

We pulled up into the parking lot of the apartment building.

"Thanks for getting me the job, by the way," I said, turning to face him.

"I didn't get you the job. You got yourself the job."

"You got me the interview."

Edward sighed. "Can't take credit for that either. You need to have more faith in yourself. You're a kick ass journalist. My dad may have mentioned that he knew you, but that's it."

"Sure." I didn't believe him. Carlisle had clout and I was sure it was his good word that got me the job. Even my professors were impressed when I got the offer.

We got out of the car and made our way to our apartment. We could hear loud music playing and people talking and cheering. Graduation parties galore.

It was late. I was slightly intoxicated and extremely tired. I could practically hear my bed calling my name.

"Bella?" Edward called as I was walking towards my bedroom. I stopped and looked at him.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you," he said quietly. "I don't think I would have survived college without you."

I smiled affectionately. "Yes, you would have."

"Well, maybe, but I had a lot more fun surviving it with you."

I pursed my lips. "You make it sound like our fun is over."

"Nah," he laughed. "Our fun is far from over. Our fun is just beginning."

I stared at him for a second; his hand in his pockets, a sexy grin on his face. I loved this boy – this man. He was everything to me. My future was about to begin. And nothing made me happier than knowing it was about to begin with him by my side.

~TIL~

**AN: This is where all of you who skipped the o/s need to go back and read it. I realize there is a gap between the end of this chapter and the beginning of the o/s. That's okay. This is where this chapter needed to end and I figured you probably didn't want another entire chapter in the middle. lol. The next chapter to be posted will take place AFTER the o/s. **


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